Rumbeard wrote
Personally I find it far creepier when the guys post obvious fake dating ads while pretending to be female feedees. It's even worse when they steal someone's photos.
Yeah, that IS really, really creepy. But it doesn't set the tone of the whole site, though in years past it had a real effect on the overall vibe. But my sense is that's no longer the case.
15 years
I was just in a church today, for the first time in ages. It was empty--my choir was rehearsing in a different room, but I went through the church itself to the toilets. And I got a strong flash of church from my younger years, an orthodox church with a lot of incense, oriental rugs, and flash robes. Visually, aurally, tactilely, olfactorily (what a miserable world), it all came back like a quick slam, and was gone again nearly as quickly.
15 years
Sexydisaster wrote
@Juicy - thanks for posting the links. Penn & Teller's bit has given me some new books to read.
Great. Both Paul Campos'
The Obesity Myth and Glen Gaesser's
Big, Fat Lies are well worth reading. I don't remember who else they cite. You might also like to have a look at Jon Robison's page on Health At Every Size, or HAES:
www.jonrobison.net/size.html, and Linda Bacon's book,
Health at Every Size.
For pure fun and a lot of much-needed sass, there's Marilyn Wann's
Fat!So?It is its own little manifesto!
There's lots more. But that's a pretty hefty start...enjoy it!
15 years
lol. I'm curious too. I hadn't read this thread originally, though I had read a prior one. I'm really curious about this game.
One thing, in case the game maker is around and reading: please please please change your mind about the 'Ignorant' thing. There is so much bad press about us--the possibility to make her ignorant just reinforces every bad stereotype!
15 years
bellyrub wrote
Its bad when people like at a small picture of you and decide you are too ugly to look at the full size. Same with sending pictures of me in emails.
I agree with what a lot of people have said. I really do think all people are beautiful, or at least can be if they are clean and acceptably dressed. (Can't be doing with dirty and smelly and ratty, unless you have no access to water and soap.)
But I want to say something else. It's dangerous to measure yourself and your appeal by your success in online dating. For example, I've never been unsuccessful in dating terms, and while I've been insecure and uncertain just like everyone else, I've almost always had enough attention to be perfectly happy. At the moment, I'm not succeeding online--partly due to the fact that I have high standards, which seems to me like a good idea, and partly because luck is like that. Sometimes it just doesn't go your way.
Just remember, everytime you walk into a crowded room, someone in there thinks you're beautiful. So stand a bit straighter, and smile a bit, and play to your audience. You have nothing to feel insecure about.
15 years
1.
On legislationabeamt wrote
Maybe it's a US v. Oz thing, but the organisations in North Am that "promote" diversity in the workplace often tend to do so by forcing businesses to have a certain amount of certain races/sexualities on their payroll. A quota, if you will. Hence, people are still getting or not getting jobs based on their superficial qualities.
(OK, it's important here for me to point out first that I lived and worked in the US all my life, until 5 years ago.)
This has never been true. What affirmative action did--and it was the ONLY legislation on diversity issues that had an active component--was to say the following:
If you have two equally qualified candidates,
and if Candidate A is from a group that is covered by Affirmative Action legislation,
and if Candidate B is not,
then Candidate A should get the job.
The point of the legislation was to combat unconscious tendencies to hire people who seem more familiar to you than the ones who aren't. No programs ever chose unqualified or less qualified people.
2.
On ConfidenceAs for Sethman and others' points about confidence, I'm totally with you. But how do you encourage confidence in a society and culture that hates you? This is a perennial question--does change first come from within or from the context? (Or, as Alabama 3 quoted Mao as saying, 'from the barrel of a gun'?)
How do we all get confident if we grow up in families and schools and medical systems that tell us we're ugly and lazy?
15 years
Wow, that's some hard core libertarianism!
I disagree that legislation has only done harm. Women, African-Americans, people in wheelchairs, and many others got turned down for work routinely until there was anti-discrimination legislation. And while I know people say that all the time about affirmative action--which isn't the same as anti-discrimination legislation--I never saw it do anything but help an equally qualified candidate, as it was meant to.
I agree, however, that legislation is only a small piece of a huge, big, unwieldy puzzle. It definitely doesn't get at the roots, and it can only work in very blatant cases. As abeamt says, it's very difficult to prove anything.
But what *would* get rid of discrimination against fat people? or help shift it somewhat?
15 years
I adore facial hair. Adoooooooore. Have never seen my partner of 30 years without his beard. And I like a little length more than very short--it's softer.
15 years
I'm so pleased that people, and esp people I don't know or don't know well, want to keep up this conversation. I posted a question in the Improvements forum to see if people want to open a new forum--for those of you who feel one way or another about it, please do post your suggestion there.
For now, though, we can keep talking here. What do you all think about anti-discrimination legislation? (It has been passed in a few places in the US.)
15 years
