Enas:
What counts as derailment though? Sometimes it is necesary to talk about a relevant but different, than the original, topic in order to understand the original one. In a natural conversation that happens often and its not a bad thing. Why is this always treated as a derailment here?

Enas:
I was planning to open a discussion about moderation myself but i wasnt super motivated. Now that i see one, i should intervene before it goes horribly wrong.

If we are going to have a discussion about moderation, which i hope this is one, we first need to actually understand clearly what moderation is in the first place and agree on a single definition. We can, and we should debate what definition we should proceed with, that is something that needs to happen. Thats because we cannot have any discussion, with which we will reach a helpfull logical conclusion, if Everyone's definitions contradict each other. I think a good way to do this would be to define what are the needs of a community that moderation is an attempt to satisfy, from which we can easily figure out what should the goals of moderation be, and then we can finally figure out how FantasyFeeder should be moderated, so that these goals will be achieved. I think this is a good outline of what we should be really doing, so i would like us to (hopefully) proceeded with that,unless someone can come up with a better idea.

So, what is everyone's thesis on the first question "What are the needs of this community that moderation ought to cover"? (Lets put the Hegelian dialectic to work, and see what are the good points that people bring up, and use those to synthesize a more developed thesis!)

Munchies:
Enas ... there is a literal moderator in this thread. She's the site owner's right-hand woman. Right now, all she is asking for are examples for better praxis. She doesn't need you to tell her how to perform debate.

This is akin to reading a bunch of books about surgical practice and telling a surgeon how to do their job.

All that said, if I am blunt, this is an example of what Morbidly is talking about.

Enas:
I was refering to everybody. I think pluralism is needed here more than anything.

There is also a long debate to be held on what moderation should be in the first place. Im here to talk about that, not to instruct. That is also why i didnt express my thesis on it, i dont have one. The best i can do is see problems in other people's thesis. Which is gonna be helpfull later on, hopefully.

Enas:
I was planning to open a discussion about moderation myself but i wasnt super motivated. Now that i see one, i should intervene before it goes horribly wrong.

If we are going to have a discussion about moderation, which i hope this is one, we first need to actually understand clearly what moderation is in the first place and agree on a single definition. We can, and we should debate what definition we should proceed with, that is something that needs to happen. Thats because we cannot have any discussion, with which we will reach a helpfull logical conclusion, if Everyone's definitions contradict each other. I think a good way to do this would be to define what are the needs of a community that moderation is an attempt to satisfy, from which we can easily figure out what should the goals of moderation be, and then we can finally figure out how FantasyFeeder should be moderated, so that these goals will be achieved. I think this is a good outline of what we should be really doing, so i would like us to (hopefully) proceeded with that,unless someone can come up with a better idea.

So, what is everyone's thesis on the first question "What are the needs of this community that moderation ought to cover"? (Lets put the Hegelian dialectic to work, and see what are the good points that people bring up, and use those to synthesize a more developed thesis!)

Morbidly A Beast:
Locking things up when people have disagreements is not moderation it’s just censorship.


And just letting someone derail a conversation while it’s happening then coming back later when everyone has said there peace isn’t moderation it’s just being a heavy handed janny.

SomeFella:
Jannies with heavy hands are the best spankers.

When I read the post topic "Moderation", I honestly thought people were about to be told to slow down with the gaining.

LouisXXIV:
This topic was inspired by

fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts

Different from many people here who are aroused by stuffing by relating it to the expectation of gaining or so, I am more excited by eating itself. I like eating myself as well as watching others indulging, and admiring the food bulge curve on the upper abdomen, showing how much food have been swallowed down and how full we are. When eating to very full, the streched stomach will bump out and the soft fatty skin becomes tight, that is when I feel most pleasant. This feeling is unralated to gaining or eating for me - or to say, my fetish is more in the bulged curve.

I like it especially when the eater is lighter-weighted because that will make the bulge stand out more. This is less sexually affairs though, but some kind of exciteness.

Is there anyone share the fetish alike? And are there any sub-forum, forum or video/pic site about such feitsh?

MickRidem:
Y'know what someone should invent? A widening strip. A piece that has zippers to fit your coat on each side, so you can have this widening option. Like a leaf in a dining room table.

Someone, go get rich off of that. 😁🤣

Anjou:
I mean he has certainly been much more sexual with me in the last year as I went on ozempic and literally weigh less than I did in the first grade. Did he not like chubby me?


AskDrFeeder:
I don't know, but I do know some men get off of the change, whether it's a gain or a loss.

Anjou:
Ngl, I love it too. Just my insecurity of a girl who was chubby/fat her whole life

Anjou:
I am a fucking mess. I love him. Help. I suck at words. I am a dancer, I express myself though that.
But I am fucking spinning. I caused this. I encouraged this.

Munchies:
I know what you are going through because I went through something similar.

First thing you gotta understand is that this is not your fault. You tried to keep him safe. He didn't listen to you. And now we have the consequences of his actions.

Not your acts.

His.

Now that we have established this, we can talk solutions.

Put your foot down. Don't yell at him, but be very blunt about your feelings. Tell him your concerns and worries.

And most importantly, there needs to be some kind of consequence. I know you've told him your concerns in the past, so just telling him will not do anything. He is, unfortunately, addicted to gaining at this point. So the best thing you can do is step back. I will leave the degree up to you. You know your husband better than I. But you need to step back from engaging in kink with him so he can understand he needs to shape up.

I wish you well, love.

Anjou:
Thanks Munchies
We had a talk last night. Long story short, we are going to find a couples therapist as well As get him one himself.
The obsession with this kink is really just the last manifestation of his all or nothing thinking.
Hell, last night he told me that when he was a bodybuilder 20 years ago, long before we meant, he used to inject insulin (had no idea bb did this) and rattled off the names of shit that he took to gain muscle.
I know he took bb up to help him get off alcohol (we meant in aa). So, yeah he has addiction issues lol. He is also autistic so the all or nothing thinking is really part of asd I have learned.
So that is where we are. I do think he cares about his health. And I myself am no stranger to addiction, 10 years sober.
So that is where we are