this topic is interesting, because every guy has a different story. probably because fat distributes itself on everyone differently.

at a certain point my fupa seemed to be taking on *more* than its fair share of my added weight, and it grew quite rapidly sometime after i passed 250 lbs. now my penis is pretty much invisible soft and maybe half covered when erect.

some of the guys here with large fupas have mentioned being able to use it to jerk off "hands free," which i really admire. the thought of reaching this is kind of an incentive to me to keep gaining - even though the ability to reach this "skill" seems kind of random (some guys can, some guys can't).

the thought of losing my penis inside my fupa, as it gets harder and harder to reach, is something that i am apprehensive about, but like i said, it also holds a kind of attraction as well...

several times!

gaining from my pre-fat weight of 150-160 lbs to 200 or so was the hardest to come to terms with. a couple of times i panicked, and went back to the gym to try to slim down. but clearly those attempts were not successful, lol!

sometime after i had passed 200, i can't remember when (maybe 225 lbs?), i made an attempt to get back to the gym and get back in shape. it turned out to be my last (failed) attempt. by then i was just too out of shape, too big, and too jiggly - my ego couldn't take being there, to be honest!

i am living proof and warning of the slippery slope! but i don't regret it - eating chips, pizza and cupcakes is way more pleasurable than running on a treadmill!

wow, that is absolutely terrifying! i am glad it worked out and that you are safe, and that law enforcement actually stepped in.

your advice is very important - i hope others are reading it as well. luckily, i am old and cynical, lol, and emily keeps safety at the top of her mind - sadly, as i am sure most trans people (and other persecuted people) do.

i do have to say that it is encouraging to see the amount of support for people of all sexualities and genders. while there is a long way to go still, we must recognize that we have come very far. i think as we (as members of the human race) focus on love, the other stuff (the packaging, if will) become less divisive.

and vice versa, i have noticed. i don't think many of the feedists sites are tremendously trans-positive. i think ff is an exception, actually.

thank you for this link - even though glaad has been a huge presence in this area forever it seems, i hadn't stumbled across their website somehow. it seems they have lots of good content.

that is great ditzy, thank you - and great for you in helping young people in that way, that is just fantastic!

i have always felt like i was an ally of the LGTBQ community, but wow has emily shown me that i had (and still have) a lot to learn! and i want to do more to be an advocate for her.

i totally understand your feelings about feabie. it is not a good place to share real info, it is more like screaming into the void. i find the forums here are far more helpful for meaningful discussions about any kind of topic.

thank you!

this year i have started dating a wonderful trans woman. i have learned more about the trans experience from her than i could have imagined. she is an incredible, strong, brilliant person and i fell really lucky to have connected with her.

most of my social media has been fat focused (ff, feabie, etc.). emily contacted me thru a fat dating app. i am looking for any recommendations for resources for people like me, who want to support their trans partners and the trans community.

emily has pointed me toward tgforums.com and susans.org and some discord stuff (but i don't use discord atm)... really hoping there is there is something out there that is fa/bhm/bbw friendly?

thanks!

i found the same thing - when you live with someone, it is very hard not to get caught up in their lifestyle, especially around food prep. (i have also known couples where one is a vegetarian or vegan, and the other isn't - and so meal prep is much more complicated! but i don't think this is the norm.)

i am glad you are enjoying the fatsecret.com app - it really was eye-opening for me. looking back, i think i probably have always eaten more than my basic caloric requirement, but i was just way more active, and burning lots of calories. to cut my diet down to the 3,500 calories it says i require just seems like a punishment at this point! i don't want to give up the will to live, lol!

there was a post that touched on the point of "no return" a little while back, but it was locked when it started to drift way off topic... i wanted to post about my experience over the last few weeks.

long story short: i was fit/athletic/muscular for most of my life. i moved to a new city (ottawa), started dating diane, a ssbbw, and fell out of my gym habits and started to get fat (i posted about that here if you want more background: fantasyfeeder.com/forum/posts ).

so... after the pandemic began, and with family stuff and work stuff complicating life, i had to move cities again. my girlfriend and i eventually decided to amicably split up rather than kill our relationship slowly by distance.

like everyone else, i had put on a few pounds during the pandemic (ok, more than a few!) mostly due to my reduced physical activity (like, almost none, lol).

what surprised me was that, months after we split up, my weight was still increasing. i just assumed that, being away from diane, i would start to drop weight, without the influence of her enthusiasm for good food around.

looking back, diane completely changed my relationship with food. she wasn't into feedism at all, she was more of a foodie - and she absolutely loved food. where we would eat, or what places we would order food from, were the prime considerations when we were dating. what movie we saw was not as important as the restaurant we had dinner at before the show! this excitement and interest in food is what really rubbed off on me, and led me down my gaining path. before i learned to enjoy the feeling of being really full - stuffed to the brim - i learned to really appreciate flavours and textures of food more deeply from her. i was like her apprentice in eating!

now i can look back at the combination of this change in my relationship with food with having given up on the gym (due more to the embarrassment of my growing paunch than any other particular motivation), and the change in my lifestyle makes sense. my desires have changed, my daily motivations, and how i seek pleasure.

fast forward to 2021... we are still stuck in the covid pandemic. i am now 320 lbs, more than double my weight 3 years ago. i have started to date a self-professed "chubby chaser," emily. she was not aware of feedism until i introduced her to it, and she isn't sure it has much appeal for her. in her words: "i just like fat people."

from my perspective now, as a fat "foodie," it is really interesting dating someone who is a fat admirer, and being the fat object of her admiration.

i mentioned to emily that i was a little surprised that i was fatter now than when i had split from my ex. emily wasn't surprised, she asked me, "have you seen how much you eat??" so she suggested i track my calories with an app to see what was i really eating.

so i got an account at fatsecret.com/ which is normally used by people trying to lose weight... but you can put in a higher goal weight if you want to, as well. they have a really great database of foods which makes it easy to track what you are eating, and it does all the calorie math for you. it was kind of surprising to see how everything adds up, to be honest.

after using the app for a few weeks, most days i can see that i consume between 6,000-7,000 calories, which apparently is about double what would be required to maintain my weight given my level of activity. that kind of surprised me. my highest day was over 8,000 calories! when i made an effort to "rein in" my intake, i managed a few days between 5,000-5,500 calories.

this is why i think i have past the point of no return. to actually lose weight would require such an incredible change in my lifestyle at this point, i think i would be absolutely miserable. it's like my brain's pleasure-center has been rewired. i used to challenge myself on the treadmill to run further, or longer, or faster - but that no longer inspires me. in some ways, i think of how much time i spent running in place, not getting anywhere! but the thought of giving up pizza, mashed potatoes with gravy, lasagna, tiramisu, freshly baked donuts... oh, the feeling of being deprived that way just makes me sad.

i am not sure what will come next for me, but i feel very content where i am right now.

i would be interested to know if anyone else has felt similarly in their gain, or their change of lifestyle?

i know... that has been the surprising thing for me, too. i kind of expected to lose some weight, not gain more, and keep gaining more.