I prefer online friends, there isn't a lot of expectations. I tend to fail at real friends due to my disappearing acts that can last a few days to months where I become a complete hermit and just read, exercise or whatever I feel I need to do. Not only that, but women around here don't exactly interest me and the ones that do, already did... as in I've dated them and it fail stormed for one reason or another. Damn towns, everyone knows everyone around here.

No, don't be fooled.
They are planning on a fat guy genocide.