I used to have the leg jitters, though I do it less now. But I'm still squirmy, and change positions a lot.

I'm a peeler. Matchbooks, bottle labels, anything that's paper and can be peeled.

I'm a fidgeter. I have toys everywhere to keep my hands busy. The plus side is that people love coming to my office. (There's also always food around, too, lol.)

And I swear like a sailor. When my daughter was in pre-school, her father got called in and asked not to say certain words at home. Champ that he is, he didn't tell them from *whom* the little snitch had learned said words...

Sigh. I also say this, about my own body to my semi-ex, and more generally when the subject of fat admiration comes up. What I love is the feeling of soft. Why on earth would anyone think that's a bad idea?!?

I once referred to my belly as a big, giant breast, and the semi-ex looked a bit quizzical and then laughed. Hard to argue.

So, yeah, I think you're quite beautiful in that pic, and I bet most people here think so, too.

I agree with Tubby, it's been VERY helpful to me to spend a lot of time looking at fat bodies, mainly by spending time here, but anyway I can, and NOT looking at skinny ones, like not reading women's mags, fashion mags, etc.

It's a long journey, but you're on it, so be gentle to yourself.

I agree with Shazzy--I felt put off by the OP, and if it's over-sensitive, I don't feel terrible about that. At least here we should be trying to be sensitive to fat folks.



I agree with almost all of Sexydisaster's post except that one sentence. While this still gets bandied about, it's pretty clear from substantial medical evidence that 'calories in - calories used = weight gain/loss' is not true. While there is surely some relationship, it is substantially mediated by a host of known, and presumably at least some still unknowns, bodily processes that determine how and when fat is stored.

I'm fairly claustrophobic, which is why I'm afraid of crowds. It's worse because I'm only 5'2", which means in a tight crowd I have no line of vision and I'm in people's chests and armpits. Ugh.

I'm somewhat afraid of heights, but it's weird. I can be plenty high up, as long as I have a visual barrier that feels high enough. So I was up in a tower recently, with floor to ceiling glass windows, and I stayed glued to the back wall. Not one of my better moments, lol.

And I have an irrational fear of bees and wasps. I've never been stung, so I have no idea why I'm so afraid, but yeah, I'm *crazy* afraid. Weird.

I'd stash it for about a month to see if you turned up to collect it. If not, I'd start spending it in small amounts on treats I wouldn't otherwise buy myself. If you turned up after that, I'd tell you the missing money was a holding fee.

What would you do if I appeared on your doorstep with a big, gorgeous black forest gateau/cake, dressed just a tad seductively?

No, but some people seem to think I look fatter, even though I'm losing weight. Maybe we're entangled in a quantum sense? Though then we should be in the same state, not opposite ones, if I remember correctly...

Just a thought.

I want three ears of freshly picked roasted corn. And later this week I may even procure some.

But now would be so much better.

I think Buffetbelly is right. When I lived in NYC and worked near Lincoln Center, I *NEVER* saw fat people. But in other parts of the city, and even more outside the city, there are plenty. Any place where style counts, don't look for us.

But there's another issue, which I think gaining men always forget. Women don't generally--and we're talking sweeping generalisations here, of course--don't talk about physical attraction in front of men. We know what you look at, but we don't tell you. Plus, we don't think to google 'fat men' to look at pics. We're less visual, according to a number of studies, at least.

I *adore* fat men, and always have. But no one knew that until a few years ago, when I felt obliged to 'come out'. I'm absolutely sure there are far more FFAs than anyone knows. So be of good cheer. And while I do remember how bad it feels to be turned down, even many years later , you really can learn to be brave--nothing terrible happens if you're turned down, I promise.