When you visit a friend who has a lot of glass work, and you can hear it rattle as you waddle by, you remember just how fat you are!

I feel like reaching a morbidly obese weight inherently comes with *some* health risks, though, I'll be careful to add that obese people can have health problems that are entirely unrelated to their weight. I've always been fat, and now I'm over 500 lb. That said, being thin and fit doesn't protect you forever from health risks either.

A morbidly obese person can, however, take some steps to mitigate risks. I haven't always been health conscious, but because I'm so big and don't intend to lose weight, I'm implementing small changes. I used to drink only soda, shakes, and fruit juice all day; I've started drinking water. I have never, ever engaged in any kind of exercise until now; I'm adding steps to my day and doing chair yoga so my knees and back don't hurt so much. I still eat around 4000 calories a day or a little more, but I'm making some different choices; I have at least one salad a day, and I make it a clean salad that isn't loaded with cheese and croutons and ranch dressing. Consequently, I'm in better health at 520 lb that I was at 375. My blood work and blood pressure reflect it.

My fiance and I have discussed this many many times over the years. His personal preference is very fat without becoming immobile, which aligned with my own weight gain goal and limit. It isn't so much about whether someone is attractive as whether the feedee partner is living the life they want without limitations being too much

My fiance hasn't exclusively been with big women, but he definitely loves the contrast. He is tall, lean, and fit... I'm short and bigger around than I am tall. When I started getting up in the 500 range, I asked him if he was enjoying my size or if he was more turned on when I was in the 300s. He responded that, on me, he found extreme girth sexy and said he loved that I am bigger than 99 percent of women. He also knew I was really enjoying being super obese, and he said my confidence, which was increasing along with my weight, was a turn on.

At home, my belly is intentionally exposed, probably 80% of the time. I have even trimmed t-shirts to expose my abdomen and side rolls. I tend to run very very hot, and it helps me stay cool when my tummy isn't stuffed into clothing.

The first time I reached 30,000 calories in a day, I had a bloated tight belly 4 or 5 days. I also continued overeating daily, though not to that extent. But then, I woke up about 6 days later, and It felt as though the bloat had turned to thick fat. I also felt that my muffin top had become thicker. Sitting, showering... So many new sensations. I even felt heavier when I walked. Boy, those were the days, lol.

Holy moly!! Well done!

Oh, I consider myself very fortunate. We hear stories all the time in this community about spouses losing attraction due to weight gain, family nagging, random strangers criticizing. There have been a couple of times friends have had questions if I was out of breath, but I never perceived anything judgmental. I'm quite thankful for it.

I've never asked a random person to touch me in any way, but I did once demonstrate to a non-feedist friend how tight my belly was after a giant meal by poking my finger into it to show there was no give. We were in a large group, and everyone was intoxicated. She did the same to me and commented the top of my gut was like a drum.

My maintenance calories are 4100 to 4300, which I realize by most standards is still pretty generous. I think I struggle so much because I stretched my capacity with some very extreme daily habits. I had just begun maintaining, with only a pound or two of fluctuation, until I stuffed for about 36 hours (with a break to sleep of course). I was up 11 lb this morning, and I probably consumed about 3500 calories today. Tonight I'm only up 9 lb from where I started before I went wild with sushi and continued on a full day feast.