Milhause:
So I recently stumbled upon my wife’s reddit account and I noticed a comment she made a week ago.
She was asking advice on how to knit a specific type of sweater because “I’m really self-conscious about my belly, particularly the lower belly (apple shaped).”
She’s gained a little weight recently and despite all my verbal and physical affection, I know no matter what I do I can’t help her love herself. She’s amazing and sexy and gorgeous and it breaks my heart that she focuses on the things she doesn’t like about herself instead of the things she does.
I’m also bummed because it gives me secondhand shame. I think her belly is really cute and feminine. She knows I’m a FA, but she doesn’t see herself the way I do. And I hate that the thing I find really sexy is the part of her she’s most embarrassed about. That’s fucked up and it makes me feel bad.
Idk, sometimes I just wish I wasn’t a FA. I hate feeling powerless to help her love herself and I wish her being down about her body didnt make me feel like I’m indirectly part of the problem.
Can't make someone love parts of themselves if they aren't open to do so. All you can really do is offer love and support.
If she hates being fat so much, then maybe you two can work on that together. Make it fun quality time like going on walks or cooking healthy meals. All the while, continue to show her you find her sexy no matter what she looks like.
It will give her a sense of agency while reaffirming you love how she looks.
On that note, I've never regretted being an FA. I love fat men, and they love me. Currently dating a fat man who loves being fat but is losing weight for health reasons. Not sure if he's going to lose all his fluff, but I know I'll find him sexy even if he does.