OnyxStar wrote:
It looks like from the previous posts (over the course of 2 years) you have asked the same question. That has to be frustrating. I always had trouble sticking around if I wanted to stop the urge. As I have said, its only temporary, I would eventually come back.
I looked at your profile again, how much weight did you lose? Did you like it when you were heavier? Why did you lose? If the answer is lost for somebody else, but you liked being bigger, it works the same way as when we say... Quit smoking for somebody... The success rate is very low if we really arent ready.
I know that it took me a long time to decide, and now Im all for gaining, but once I realized that there is nothing to be scared of... The game changed and I realized how pointless 10 or so years of ovethinking really was.
Everything we do, and maintain serves a purpose in our lives whether it be gratification, protection, whatever. Even my indecisiveness had its purpose, as I was really self conscious for a long time and wouldnt have taken criticism well. It kind of like being in high school, all most people think about is being popular. Eventually school ends, we get our own adult lives, and all of that junk we once believed and trouble we went through to be cool is pointless. ( I was never the popular type, until I changed myself to fit in... Bad mistake)
Its easier said than done, but I realized the phrase "just be yourself" is a lot more rewarding once its felt... Its much easier, you will probably be a lot happier.
I am. Thats just my experience. If we chose to be something we arent, just on the outside, even when it is good intentioned, and unintentional we kind of are either trying to fool ourselves, or others. It only works so long. I think I would have liked to hear that before I spent years trying to figure it out on my own. So I like to spread the word. I totally have a soft spot for those that are on the fence. Lol.
Anyway, your stats say, 6'1 and 160? You could easily get to 200 and only be a bit more solid. Why not give it a go? You would at least have some questions about yourself answered- or would have more of an idea of what you want. Then again, some things can take time. Just be happy.
Also, as far as dating goes, luckily my bf accepted me, but I still have this fear of him just saying that but being let down because I want to change my appearance. If I had just gained originally, I wouldnt have to worry about that. I would have attracted somebody who likes me as I am instead of a person that is attracted to the person I tried to be to fit in, I would have been able to save myself from a really nerve racking talk and fear of rejection.... Just something to think about...
Hi onyx Star you are really a thoughtful wise person it seems ^^
i hope your bf will not only go along with you but totally love your gains ;-) i couldn´t think about a relationship where your partner does not at least share your fetish a bit or enjoy you fullfilling yur dreams at least to some extent ......after realizing what turn you on so much .....