1. Get to my goal instantly (260, at my height 5' 6" with my current wardrobe in sizes to match. Though I do like seeing my belly hang over my belt.

2. Stay healthy and fit at that weight.

3. Always hungry and being able to stay fat or even get fatter.

Something I always fantasize about Is
some day I would love to get so turned on while eating that I spontaneously 💦💦💦 Really! It's a fantasy of mine to have to get up with a hot slimy mess in my👖

That's fun. I'm not ashamed to say I got a boner when I saw how I would look that fat.

Inactivity and food. I haven't worked out in a long time, and I like to eat.

Gainer shakes with whole milk, peanut butter, heavy cream, banana, ice cream (even the cheap stuff will do).

Pasta, ramen noodles, rice, potatoes, bagels, and other cheap starches.

"Wasting food is a sin".

I freely admit that I think about dropping the weight. Mostly because I'm tired of hearing my pain specialist (lumbar fusion almost 2 years ago, still hurtin' ) point to my belly and say "that's not helping". Grrrr....

But I love seeing myself outgrow my clothes, seeing that short fat man in the mirror, and walk around proudly rocking my growing belly. I finally started getting a little bit of a jiggle.

Oddly, my regular doctor doesn't say anything about my weight; my blood work, blood pressure and everything are perfect. If they weren't that would be the only real reason I'd lose the weight.

I don't think I'd know how to diet anymore, anyway. I think I've reached the point of no return psychologically and physically. I just wish I was gaining faster.

Just a side note, I can't believe how I've gotten to love that. If I can, I pull my belt one hole tighter. It pushes my belly fat up and over the belt. It's actually comfortable because my shirts stay tucked in. Once my pants find their "sweet spot" they stay there. So many benefits to being fat, dontchoo agree?

In the beginning it was both because I wavered. There were times I was appalled at my appearance, at other times I got turned on. It's finally settled down into liking how I look and getting turned on.

I remember one late Sunday afternoon going to Walmart in a panic because pants I was going to wear to work that week didn't fit. I got a couple of the cheapest crappiest pants I could find only because they fit. The fact that these were cheap-ass Walmart shit did nothing to make me feel better about myself. Lol

I am always warm. I have a small fan in my work cubicle. Like chubbynate said, as I'm gaining I sweat more. I even sweat at night in bed. It's so bad at times we've had to change the sheets at 2 am. I keep a bath towel on my pillow, and usually wear a heavy t shirt to bed. Better to change the t shirt than the sheets.

I shave my head which makes the sweating more noticeable. It's quite embarrassing to have to leave somewhere or have someone hand you paper towels. I sweat like the proverbial whore in church.

I had a regular check up and blood work with my doctor, everything is fine. I know that being overweight and out of shape can make it worse. But he didn't say anything about that. Since I'm not going to lose weight, and want to get fatter, I guess I'll have to live with it. :-/