I freely admit that I think about dropping the weight. Mostly because I'm tired of hearing my pain specialist (lumbar fusion almost 2 years ago, still hurtin' ) point to my belly and say "that's not helping". Grrrr....

But I love seeing myself outgrow my clothes, seeing that short fat man in the mirror, and walk around proudly rocking my growing belly. I finally started getting a little bit of a jiggle.

Oddly, my regular doctor doesn't say anything about my weight; my blood work, blood pressure and everything are perfect. If they weren't that would be the only real reason I'd lose the weight.

I don't think I'd know how to diet anymore, anyway. I think I've reached the point of no return psychologically and physically. I just wish I was gaining faster.

Just a side note, I can't believe how I've gotten to love that. If I can, I pull my belt one hole tighter. It pushes my belly fat up and over the belt. It's actually comfortable because my shirts stay tucked in. Once my pants find their "sweet spot" they stay there. So many benefits to being fat, dontchoo agree?

In the beginning it was both because I wavered. There were times I was appalled at my appearance, at other times I got turned on. It's finally settled down into liking how I look and getting turned on.

I remember one late Sunday afternoon going to Walmart in a panic because pants I was going to wear to work that week didn't fit. I got a couple of the cheapest crappiest pants I could find only because they fit. The fact that these were cheap-ass Walmart shit did nothing to make me feel better about myself. Lol

I am always warm. I have a small fan in my work cubicle. Like chubbynate said, as I'm gaining I sweat more. I even sweat at night in bed. It's so bad at times we've had to change the sheets at 2 am. I keep a bath towel on my pillow, and usually wear a heavy t shirt to bed. Better to change the t shirt than the sheets.

I shave my head which makes the sweating more noticeable. It's quite embarrassing to have to leave somewhere or have someone hand you paper towels. I sweat like the proverbial whore in church.

I had a regular check up and blood work with my doctor, everything is fine. I know that being overweight and out of shape can make it worse. But he didn't say anything about that. Since I'm not going to lose weight, and want to get fatter, I guess I'll have to live with it. :-/

If they are a size or so different I hold on to them. For example, I have size 17 shirts that are a bit snug in the belly. I'm to the point I have to keep the top 2 or 3 buttons open. So, it's time to segregate them from the bigger sizes. I'm not ready to part with them just yet.

I can hold on to pants a little longer. Technically I could use 44s but I like how the snugness of 42s pushes my belly up and over my belt.

So, it's on an item by item basis when to get rid of things. If I'm looking at 2 or more sizes and I keep going up in weight, I'll weed them out.

If the shirt is long enough I tuck. I like how it shows off my belly. Some shirts are getting shorter as my belly gets bigger, so I leave them untucked. So, it depends on the shirt.

36%

I'm about 5'6" and 225 lbs, 51" belly. That's unquestionably fat, but not fat enough. I want to get to 245-250, maybe even 265 if I can. I'd love to see how I look at 250!

I'm having a hard time gaining weight because I know I don't eat enough, and I'm losing muscle. I've weightlifted (power lifting) for years but I haven't been in the gym since late winter. Adding muscle will add weight and jack up my appetite.

I felt this way for a long time.

I remember one day being dressed for work in khakis and polo shirt, looking in the mirror and seeing how snug the shirt was and how my belt was sliding down. I was pretty upset at how I looked. I immediately changed into something looser fitting.

But as time went on I got to like how I look geing fat. What I think helped me gain confidence is that I am gay and find other fat guys really attractive. I got to like identifying with them, and seeing myself get fatter.

Obviously that won't work for everyone; everyone finds their own way of being comfortable with their appearance.

I haven't experienced any negative effects or prejudice. I think a lot of how we're treated, being fat or thin, depends on the signals we send. Appear to be confident and in control, and people will treat you with respect. Appear to be insecure and people will steamroll you.