j8o8h8n:
A lot of my close friends and my significant other know that I'm sexually attracted to fat women and I've told them as much. However, I've been throwing around the idea of gaining myself and I haven't told any of them about it. I know I don't need to justify wanting to gain to anyone, but I think that it would be easier for me if a couple people close to me knew and we're supportive. Especially considering it would be a major change for me. I'm currently 5' 8" and about 145 and would been looking to at least reach the obese range and possibly catch up to my girlfriend in size (she's 5' 7" and about 290 so I'd be looking at doubling in size). I don't want to tell a lot of people that I was thinking of getting fat on purpose, but at the same time I don't think I could do it if I keep it a secret from everyone. Does anyone have advice for how to go about telling your close friends you want to purposely get fat or how to tell your significant other that you want to get as big as she is? Thanks in advance.
There is no easy nor simplistic answer to this and it actually depends on whom you are dealing with and their temperament as far as friends and family are concerned. Some will get it while most others won't. Most of my family couldn't get it but I wasn't cool with them anyway so I moved from Laurel, Md to Concord, NC and they accepted me with open arms. They not only understood how and why some men gained; they actually championed it and it was something they did in the south. Some will get it and most won't but you can always make new friends who will appreciate the newly expanded you and will help you through the process
4 years
Louiefat:
Just wanna take a minute to point out how much of a chiller WideJuan76 is. It's users like this that keep the community alive.
Thanks sir, I just try to keep things as chill and be as real as can because I know some of the philosophy of this life and I just try to give it freely
4 years
ReadyToGrow:
I can respect why it is so difficult for people to stay in this community and accept who they are as feedist. Ultimately this fetish is quite counter to what society preaches.
On a personal note the reasons I ever take a break from it all is the fact it is so depressing trying to find feeders and keep conversations with them before the delete or ghost. I've been doing this for a couple years now and haven't once had an in person feeding. I can also count on my hand how many video chat feedings I have.
Kinda the "well if I am not wanted, why stay" attitude.
But this is why I tell folks that they must be their own feeder because too many folks just use this site to jerk off to the fat talk or beg you to give them money so you must become the fullest extension of fatness as you can. You can't expect too much from this site other than on that rare occasion you will find someone who gets it but the numbers are not in our favor until this lifestyle becomes popular. Until then, you must be your own feeder
4 years
There is nothing much you can do to stop folks from leaving until you can make this lifestyle of ours mainstream and it might never get like that because we live in a consumer society and they know we can't be skinny but the marketing strategy is to make an ideal almost out of reach and they will spend millions to attain it. My motto is to waddle where you are appreciated and that is the South in America for me. Only in certain parts of Africa have I ever gotten that much love and in places like that it is a cultural thing for the women to be obese and for her to fatten her husband. In this life, we must understand the difference between being alone and loneliness and so many of us suffer from loneliness because we have been taught that we can have this magical soul mate who fits all these categories when the truth is that you are never alone; you just won't let go of the fact that you can't have exactly what society said that you deserved. I understand that as a superobese straight black male who has a stomach that hangs way past his belt; there aren't many options that will admit it openly but there are plenty who appreciate it in the dark.. DC is a super fit town and yet I get asked out on dates all the time by military women who have secret fat fetishes but they can't get fat so they playfully mess with mine. There are those who adore us but don't let these attention frauds and online obese female capitalists get you down; just preemptively block them before it gets there. I have so many on here trying to get me to send them money to feed them when I am a part time chef's consultant so why would I send them money for food when they can come to me to eat a feast ? You just can pay most of these frauds online any mind.
4 years
BreadZeppelin:
The best scenario, and I'll admit it's rare, is when you find a woman who is massively turned on sexually by the thought of becoming very fat or obese. My ex was like that - young but rarely goes on the net, which made her interesting from the get-go - she likes books! But without knowing anything about FAs, feederism, etc, just ate her way from 180 to 314 in 7 years, with no partner, just went for it. "No, I'm fat. I'm really, really fat!" she says to people who use people who use "Big boned" and such.
I know three more who are just stupid turned on by stuffing and getting fat, without a partner, without a feeder. These are the type you want!
Agreed, I have been with several women like this and at first it is very off putting because you don't think that they are being real about your attraction until you catch them playing with your gut while you sleep or you catch them getting off to just playing with your back fat. I suggest moving to rural areas because they prefer fat males there
4 years
Louiefat:
Masuli, that's very true. It's a frustrating divide to see. Female feedee's (in general) expect to be paid for fat chat by male feeders, and to be given paypal for food. But this does not go both ways. Because the same is true for female feeders! It's not uncommon when you find a FFA on feabie to see them link their paypal account and be expected to be paid first to interact with you (you, aka the elusive precious dedicated feedee who apparently only has value when you were born with a vagina). Why are men, and those who present as men, or even gender neutral people with male bodies, completely unable to monetize their fetish like women are able to without catering to the gay community? Hansi's superchubs, and other USSBHM marketplaces seem to be only patronized by men. I''d love to study the history of this. Sex work is almost exclusively purchased by men. That's really interesting to me and I'd love to get closer to an answer that goes beyond our western puritan roots. Is it something deeper? How we are wired? Or is it just a cultural holdover from our more sexist past?
Masuli:
That is so true.
It seems that all that BHM porn is catered towards gay community or men who likes men.
Like there are so little porn that has female feeder feeding a male feedee. This is really rare and shows how few female feeders actually there are.
There are more female feeders feeding woman videos around but that's a "lesbian" thing so it's automatically more popular.
There are women out here who love and get our life and most of them I have met were from the south. I moved to North Carolina and South Carolina and the ladies were competing to see how fat they could get their men so they are out there but most are into us but they have to keep up appearances.
4 years
Louiefat:
Never mind the fact that I'm fairly certain that there's only about 5 or 6 people who are legit feedee's on the entire planet and not just selling a fantasy as sex workers (nothing wrong with that line of work, just saying), I'm real tired of making seemingly legit connections with these one in a billion needle in a haystack feedee's and engaging in these multi thousand word emails with them while knowing that there's a 99.99999% they're gonna delete their profile soon and go missing. When I get the rare message from someone in this community, I'm pretty apathetic right off the bat. It's like I can see a month into the future and I just can't keep doing it to myself. It's at this point where I'm just as guilty of disappearing because I'm unable to keep having that happen over and over and over again
But that is why I keep telling folks that most are just here to jack off in front of their computer screen and that is just the nature of the beast with this site and this life. That is why I just own being obese and if I meet someone than that is cool but most will be posers.
4 years
Larsson:
Yeah, it can be a challenge to keep continuity in a forum, I guess?
I have just joined, and I have been "clicking around", to see what is being discussed, who says what, and who are you fantastic people and so on. In one or two cases, I was IMMEDIATELY blocked by the user, after checking the "about" text?!? What?
I did not send any message, likes, posts etc.
That felt strange and surprising to me.
Still, it seems like a fine forum, with great people!
Here is the truth, some folks on here can be weird and will just block you just because they were in the chat talking to someone who ghosted them and then they will block you just for looking on their page; you have to let it fall off you like teflon
4 years
CurvyPiggy:
It irritates me how many people will make an account then delete then make another account. Then they will try and talk like I don’t remember the first one. It makes me think they are embarrassed or ashamed. I have given the benefit of the doubt but then the delete again. 😂 I don’t play games like that.
They are embarrassed and you can tell from the tonality of their message but they are not used to this life of ours. I am superobese and I can't hide the gut that I took effort to grow so why be ashamed of it
4 years
Ditzy:Thats funny because in school I was barely 100 lbs and I dated several really heavy guys.
I found them way more desirable and nicer in general.
BreadZeppelin:BLESS YOU, MY DEAR!
On behalf of fat boys everywhere.
I concur because we had to be nice because no one paid us any attention
4 years
