Angy523:
Sooo...we were happy and everything was really good. He gained more weight and I felt like he is the sexiest in the world and the sex was awesome. Also, I asked him many times if he feels good about his gaining and he told me yes.
But yesterday he wore his uniform after 1 month and he felt his belt was hurting him. And today his annoying mother told him he got too fat. A few hours after that he told me he wants to lose weight until his uniform will fit well again. I tried to tell him to adjust the belt, but he told me it's the right size, but it hurts when he sits and the belly hangs over it...or when he bends. So I had to accept this argument. Ofc I don't want him to feel pain.
Before judging me again, I want to tell you that I LOVE HIM no matter what. And I will love him even if he'll ever be skinny. But I was sad all day because I just know I won't see him as attractive as I see him now. And we had many problems with our sex life because he thought I'm not as attracted to him as I should...it wasn't true, I was either stressed with some exams or having other problems and I explained to him. But he always doubted that.
Idk what I'll do when this would be actually true. I know I won't be attracted as I am now. Ofc I'll still like him, but it will be a difference for sure.
Usually the best solution is to talk to him. But how should I tell him something like this? I would be selfish af. And I love him and I want to support his decision. But this just makes me sad...he also saw I was sad today and asked me to explain it and I tried to find an excuse.
People's bodies change all the time. How you look now will not be how you look later.
Ever see couples that have been together 40, 50, 60 years? Specifically the ones that are still in love with each other? They put in the work to achieve that. The truth is that no matter what your partner looks like, you can lose attraction to them anytime. And telling them "I'm not attracted to you," or "I'm less attracted to you," puts the burden on them.
And unless they are doing something no reasonable person would put up with like not bathing or being obnoxious, then it's a you issue, not a them issue.
My partner loves busty women. And I am very busty. If I went down several cup sizes and he said "I'm not attracted to you anymore," or "I find you less attractive," I'd be destroyed.
You have some things you need to work through - things that are not his burden to bear. If he asks, you can tell him "I'm sorry babe. I'm working through some things. They are not your fault, and you did nothing wrong. When I'm done, I'll tell you about it."
In the mean time, ask yourself if you can find other reasons to be attracted to him. When my partner decided to lose weight, he was terrified of me losing attraction to him. That never happened. If anything, the closer we get, the more I find myself attracted to him. Some of it involves me finding different reasons to be attracted to him. Like the growing muscle in his arms or how he has really nice cheekbones I never saw before. The rest is appreciating the things that don't change like his broad shoulders or sweet smile.
It's also important to find non-sexual reasons to be attracted to your partner. For me, it's things like how he makes me feel safe or his wicked sense of humor.
If you can find it in yourself to maintain your attraction, tell him. "Babe, I was worried I'd lose my attraction to you. But after thinking things through, I realize that's not going to be a problem." If you can't then you should probably end things. If not, the relationship will wither away and become filled with resentment.
