Sighting: see evidence of wg that is a turn-on
Letters And Numbers:
That's like Puritan level thought policing.
That's like Puritan level thought policing.
How so?
1 year
Sighting: see evidence of wg that is a turn-on
Munchies:
There's nothing wrong with having sexual fantasies - even if they are unusual ones. But like ... consent is sexy. And if you don't have their consent, then maybe don't sexualize them.
Greentrees8733:
Totally understandable that the experience you described would feel violating.
I’m just not convinced fantasizing about others constitutes a violation of consent. I’m willing to be convinced otherwise, but here’s my take, featuring good ol’ Alice and Bob:
Alice’s thoughts about Bob are not actually Bob. Bob himself isn’t actually involved in Alice’s private thoughts about Bob, so there’s nothing for him to consent to (or not). Alice’s thoughts (about anything) are part of Alice. As an autonomous person, I would think Alice is the only one with any say over her own private thoughts.
Put another way, I don’t think fantasizing about guys as a teenager makes you “guilty” of anything. I just don’t see how private thoughts have any moral weight. Like, what harm did you do, or risk doing?
Sharing them is different, though. Sharing impacts others, so their consent is relevant. But that’s kind of OT for this reply.
---
Side note: OP does say “I couldn’t keep my eyes off her” which (given the voyeuristic style of the post) kinda sounds like an inappropriate/potentially violating amount of staring, but that’s a separate issue from fantasizing being a violation of consent.
As a man thinks, so does he do.
I'm not saying fantasizing about people means you're going to actually do the thing. But it does color what you do in reality. The extent depends on what you conciously check yourself on, but it's never 100%.
Like, if a woman's boss fantasizes about her sexually, or a woman fantasizes about her best friend's husband, can we say it's not going to color their interactions with the object of their desire?
Remember, the issue isn't the kinks so much as the object of your desires.
1 year
Fell off the maintenance wagon hard
BigBallBellyGirl:
Agreed. Somewhere outside of the fantasy of endless, hard core gaining is a reality where most of us live. I consumed well over 22,000 calories Tuesday, and those into hard-core gaining would consider that "hot". So do I. I am turned on by the internal sensation of fullness, the swelling/bloating, and stepping on the scale to see the numbers climb. Realistically though, I know where doing that every day leads, because I did it for months at a time. I put on 200 pounds in 13 months. And there's not a world in which that could continue without completely losing independence and mobility. I don't want to get married in December from my bed or give up our honeymoon (which will already present special considerations). It doesn't mean I'm rebelling against this community by not wanting to blow up endlessly. It means that my "fat reality" is now how to keep the weight on but not get much bigger, how to stay active enough that I take some pressure off my knees and back, and what accommodations are necessary for an ambulatory supersized life. I can't talk about that with people outside this community, because honestly, I don't know any other 500 lb people in real life. My fiance has done his own research and built his own knowledge because we have a partnership, but he's 180 lb. This isn't his personal physical reality. And even though my doctor is not fat phobic or dismissive of symptoms, she will point to my size and eating habits as the causes of my blood pressure going up, shortness of breath, and knee issues, because, well, they are. I knew that when I was stuffing myself to oblivion, gaining 10 lb a week. So yes, I appreciate those who recognize maintaining is a part of the conversation, and a part of fat life, too!
Agreed. Somewhere outside of the fantasy of endless, hard core gaining is a reality where most of us live. I consumed well over 22,000 calories Tuesday, and those into hard-core gaining would consider that "hot". So do I. I am turned on by the internal sensation of fullness, the swelling/bloating, and stepping on the scale to see the numbers climb. Realistically though, I know where doing that every day leads, because I did it for months at a time. I put on 200 pounds in 13 months. And there's not a world in which that could continue without completely losing independence and mobility. I don't want to get married in December from my bed or give up our honeymoon (which will already present special considerations). It doesn't mean I'm rebelling against this community by not wanting to blow up endlessly. It means that my "fat reality" is now how to keep the weight on but not get much bigger, how to stay active enough that I take some pressure off my knees and back, and what accommodations are necessary for an ambulatory supersized life. I can't talk about that with people outside this community, because honestly, I don't know any other 500 lb people in real life. My fiance has done his own research and built his own knowledge because we have a partnership, but he's 180 lb. This isn't his personal physical reality. And even though my doctor is not fat phobic or dismissive of symptoms, she will point to my size and eating habits as the causes of my blood pressure going up, shortness of breath, and knee issues, because, well, they are. I knew that when I was stuffing myself to oblivion, gaining 10 lb a week. So yes, I appreciate those who recognize maintaining is a part of the conversation, and a part of fat life, too!
Yeah, not a lot of people seem to get it - especially my fellow feeders and FAs. Weight management and weight loss are dirty words. And every moment of weekness is a chance to convince you to give up completely.
We gotta be better than that. And I'm glad people like you aren't afraid to post their truth.
1 year
Sighting: see evidence of wg that is a turn-on
Or worse. Maybe someone you know is attracted to you. Maybe you're close. Maybe you're just friends and you are in a relationship with someone else. But instead of respecting your relationship with each other, they masterbate at the thought of you.
Like sure. Maybe you never tell anyone about it. But it's still really creepy.
AskDrFeeder:
I'd be very surprised if there is even one person on the planet over the age of 6 who doesn't have thoughts some others would find creepy if they knew about them.
I feel like there's levels to this. Like, I like to think about how your bones are wet and your lashes have microscopic bugs on them. That's creepy to some people but it's harmless.
But if I see a person I find attractive and proceed to imagine myself plowing them into the mattress with a strap, chaining them to the wall and fattening them, or whatever sexy, kinky thing I can think of, then that's a different kind of weird.
When I was a teen filled with hormones and assess to the internet, I'd regularly imagine all kinds of things I'd like to do with various cute boys I liked. I didn't think anything of it at the time because I only focused on how good it made me feel.
And then one day a guy friend of mine started talking to me about some lewd fantasy he had with him. I felt violated. I felt like I was nothing more than a cum rag to him with no regard to my personhood.
Then I realized I was guilty of the same thing. My only saving grace is that I kept it in my head.
So I solved the issue by sticking to sexy people I made up and porn.
There's nothing wrong with having sexual fantasies - even if they are unusual ones. But like ... consent is sexy. And if you don't have their consent, then maybe don't sexualize them.
1 year
Fell off the maintenance wagon hard
BigBallBellyGirl:
I've been planning to keep my weight in this general neighborhood, but I fell off the maintenance wagon hard last night at all you can eat sushi, and I have been eating ever since. Last night, I had 56 pieces with tempura vegetables and tempura shrimp. I woke up very bloated and also very hungry, and I have been eating since. It's so hard, when you were addicted to being overstuffed beyond your limits for a long time, to go back to regular meals. There was something so pleasurable about being packed like a drum, with my belly feeling bloated and sensitive, I haven't been able to stop myself. I've had around 14,000 calories so far today, and i know I'll gain some weight from this, but I'm going to give myself a day off from maintenance and get as stuffed as I want to. I've genuinely missed the feeling of physically ballooning outward from over indulgence. And tomorrow is another day!
I've been planning to keep my weight in this general neighborhood, but I fell off the maintenance wagon hard last night at all you can eat sushi, and I have been eating ever since. Last night, I had 56 pieces with tempura vegetables and tempura shrimp. I woke up very bloated and also very hungry, and I have been eating since. It's so hard, when you were addicted to being overstuffed beyond your limits for a long time, to go back to regular meals. There was something so pleasurable about being packed like a drum, with my belly feeling bloated and sensitive, I haven't been able to stop myself. I've had around 14,000 calories so far today, and i know I'll gain some weight from this, but I'm going to give myself a day off from maintenance and get as stuffed as I want to. I've genuinely missed the feeling of physically ballooning outward from over indulgence. And tomorrow is another day!
The thing to remember is when you decide to maintain, you're not looking for perfection. You'll have days when you fall back into old habits.
And that's not the end of the world. It's completely unreasonable to expect anyone to do "all the right things".
You're right. Tomorrow is another day. Just because you had a period of time falling off the wagon doesn't mean you've doomed yourself from achieving what you want to achieve. Progress isn't a linear path. But so long as you're generally moving in the direction you want to go, you'll be fine.
We as a community glorify the gains. I think it's just as important to talk about the other aspects of the journey as well. Maintaining, weight loss, and changing body comp are also parts of the gaining experience. But since they aren't as sexy as getting fat, we don't talk about it.
And that's a shame. It's not like you can meet your needs in traditional weight management circles. They won't understand why someone wants to cap their gains at 500 or only drop from 400 to 250. I think that our community needs to engage with the practical side of things more. It's not as flashy as a never ending gain, but it's sexy in its own way.
1 year
A/b/o wg story recommendations
Sir Neapolitan:
Anybody have some recommendations for alpha beta omega feederism stories worth checking out on here? Ideally with a female omega gaining. Asking for a friend. 😂
Munchies:
As a fandom old head, this took me out.
ABO? In my fat kink website? It's more likely than you think.
I could pop over to the old AO3 and give you some fic reqs. Any specific preferences besides weight gain and het fics? Specific kinks to include/exclude? Is fanfic okay or original content only? Long or short fics? Shall I exclude WIP too, or do you like to live on the edge?
Sir Neapolitan:
Haha that would be really amazing if you could! Hmm, well would be good to have multiple alphas competing for the omega, or a gang of alphas with one omega. Mafia princess energy. Hard men, soft girl.
Fanfic okay though more with a fantasy element, think werewolves, sorcery, dragons etc (no my parents sold me to one direction and now they are fattening me up 😂)
Long or short fine but probably short is best, and as much as it can be very fun walking on the edge haha yeah exclude WIP.
Anybody have some recommendations for alpha beta omega feederism stories worth checking out on here? Ideally with a female omega gaining. Asking for a friend. 😂
Munchies:
As a fandom old head, this took me out.
ABO? In my fat kink website? It's more likely than you think.
I could pop over to the old AO3 and give you some fic reqs. Any specific preferences besides weight gain and het fics? Specific kinks to include/exclude? Is fanfic okay or original content only? Long or short fics? Shall I exclude WIP too, or do you like to live on the edge?
Sir Neapolitan:
Haha that would be really amazing if you could! Hmm, well would be good to have multiple alphas competing for the omega, or a gang of alphas with one omega. Mafia princess energy. Hard men, soft girl.
Fanfic okay though more with a fantasy element, think werewolves, sorcery, dragons etc (no my parents sold me to one direction and now they are fattening me up 😂)
Long or short fine but probably short is best, and as much as it can be very fun walking on the edge haha yeah exclude WIP.
Okie doke.
Friendly reminder that ABO is a mostly gay thing. So there isn't a whole lot of het stuff to begin with. And of the het stuff most of the female omega stuff is Y/N fics.
I took the liberty of filtering out Major Character Death, Rape, and Underage. I attempted to make this as het as possible, but that's next to impossible. ABO is inherently pretty gay since the LGBTQIA+ community invented it. Anywho, here's what I found. I sorted by Kudos.
ABO Feeding Kink:
archiveofourown.org/works
ABO Weight Gain:
archiveofourown.org/works
You're not going to find a lot of this kink no matter the platform. But this should be the biggest chunk of story with this specific kink cross-section.
1 year
Budget gaining
Softernow:
Regarding glucose levels, isn’t that more of an issue when we get older?
Regarding glucose levels, isn’t that more of an issue when we get older?
As someone who had been a diabetic all her life, the answer to that is no. I also question where you got your information.
1 year
BiggsLarge:
How do y'all without phones date and interact?
Yes, I am legit in my early 30s. And yes, this is a choice.
How do y'all without phones date and interact?
Yes, I am legit in my early 30s. And yes, this is a choice.
How else? With a carrier pigeon and smoke clouds.
I'm going to assume you mean a smartphone and not all phones. Either way, you just put yourself out there. Hop in chat, talk to people in the forums, message people in DMs or something like that. And once you've deemed this person worthy of people closer, most people hop onto a messaging service.
I believe Discord, Kik, and Snapchat are the most common ones. I know that some people use socials like Twitter and Instagram while some (usually the older crowd) use emails.
I don't think you are anti-technology since *gestures vaguely to this site*, but these days, anything you can do on a phone, you can do on a computer. And this includes calling or texting.
I remember being a poor college student with a minute phone. Sometimes I'd run out of minutes and use my email to text people.
1 year
Safety and pre-payment for meetups
BiggsLarge:
I'm aware in this community payment in straight money (PayPal, Venmo, Cashapp, Bitcoin, etc.) or in kind (Uber Eats, GrubHub, Steam Cards, etc.) seems to be required for a majority of community members to meetup.
As someone with a good income, knowledge of cybersecurity, and a concern for safety but an aversion to scams and instant gratification, I'm going to say right now that this type of behaviour is not going to be indulged by me. I don't send money to strangers. Period.
If you feel unsafe or untrusting of someone, getting money from them isn't a solution. Anyone with money can do that, sorry to say.
A better solution is to get to know someone over messaging, email, or phone/video calls, then meetup in an open or public location. If you're afraid of someone finding your licence plate number or being stuck with someone, take a cab or Uber. If you are untrusting of someone, don't agree to marry them or share pictures, especially nudes, of yourself. And don't pressure anyone else for nudes or personal information, because that's sexual harassment and abuse. Full stop.
At the same point, if someone is done with you, don't keep pestering them or try to find them online. That's harassment too. And it will get you nothing other than ghosting, blocks, bans, restraining orders, or potentially police investigations. Don't do it.
Also, people don't have to tell you the truth. This goes both ways: If someone is obviously evasive or lying, give up. It's a waste of time. If someone is not responding, don't waste your time with them either.
Finally, note, you can't change other people's behaviour. You can't force someone who is frightful, deceptive, treacherous, aggressive, probing, or has very different standards of privacy or honesty from you to comply with your standards.
That's just my two cents.
I'm aware in this community payment in straight money (PayPal, Venmo, Cashapp, Bitcoin, etc.) or in kind (Uber Eats, GrubHub, Steam Cards, etc.) seems to be required for a majority of community members to meetup.
As someone with a good income, knowledge of cybersecurity, and a concern for safety but an aversion to scams and instant gratification, I'm going to say right now that this type of behaviour is not going to be indulged by me. I don't send money to strangers. Period.
If you feel unsafe or untrusting of someone, getting money from them isn't a solution. Anyone with money can do that, sorry to say.
A better solution is to get to know someone over messaging, email, or phone/video calls, then meetup in an open or public location. If you're afraid of someone finding your licence plate number or being stuck with someone, take a cab or Uber. If you are untrusting of someone, don't agree to marry them or share pictures, especially nudes, of yourself. And don't pressure anyone else for nudes or personal information, because that's sexual harassment and abuse. Full stop.
At the same point, if someone is done with you, don't keep pestering them or try to find them online. That's harassment too. And it will get you nothing other than ghosting, blocks, bans, restraining orders, or potentially police investigations. Don't do it.
Also, people don't have to tell you the truth. This goes both ways: If someone is obviously evasive or lying, give up. It's a waste of time. If someone is not responding, don't waste your time with them either.
Finally, note, you can't change other people's behaviour. You can't force someone who is frightful, deceptive, treacherous, aggressive, probing, or has very different standards of privacy or honesty from you to comply with your standards.
That's just my two cents.
I agree. I also want to add to this with some things. I know it's basic internet safety, but from some of the conversations I've had here, I wonder about some of y'all.
In no particular order:
- Don't make important decisions horny
- Even if you do trust them, they can still be no good. Make sure someone you trust knows your whereabouts, when you'll be back, and/or have a check-in time.
- Keep your location on and your batter charged
- If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is
- If you are a content creator, never put the bag before your safety and well-being.
- Don't expect people to be okay with a transactional relationship, but if the other party is fine with it, hold up your end of the bargain
- Get it in writing. I don't care what it is. Get it in writing or have some recording evidence of the agreement
- If a content creator isn't interested in anything more than a transactional relationship, do not retaliate. I have seen several instances of people (men) subject content creators (usually but not always women) to their unwanted advances and blast them in public as scammers when they decline.
Do not do this. We women have whisper networks. We know who you are. We will work together to protect our own, and your behavior will get back to the site admin with screenshots.
And on the flip side, do not try to scam people. The community knows who you are. Understand that people take screenshots. Your behavior will get back to the site admin.
1 year
Sighting: see evidence of wg that is a turn-on
Morbidly A Beast:
I personally don’t like this stuff and I think it’s cringe when there’s people talking about people’s pants and shirts not fitting when they’re out in public. Like damn imagine you being told that unless you’re into humiliation.
That’s different than finding someone attractive. That’s fetishizing and kinda messed up. I don’t think anyone would be okay with someone fantasizing about raping someone and then like describing it, and then saying it’s just what they find attractive — I’m not making that comparison in this instance I’m just saying it for an example, to be clear
Letters And Numbers:
This is a website that caters to a fetish community? It’s not the only thing it does, but it’s a big part of it.
Morbidly A Beast:
Yes but the people who join this are consenting. The people being fetishized would probably be mortified if they found this stuff.
Letters And Numbers:
I think most people would see that as an extreme take at the very least, or more likely just trolling. But everyone has their own trip so I hope that is a good one for you.
I personally don’t like this stuff and I think it’s cringe when there’s people talking about people’s pants and shirts not fitting when they’re out in public. Like damn imagine you being told that unless you’re into humiliation.
That’s different than finding someone attractive. That’s fetishizing and kinda messed up. I don’t think anyone would be okay with someone fantasizing about raping someone and then like describing it, and then saying it’s just what they find attractive — I’m not making that comparison in this instance I’m just saying it for an example, to be clear
Letters And Numbers:
This is a website that caters to a fetish community? It’s not the only thing it does, but it’s a big part of it.
Morbidly A Beast:
Yes but the people who join this are consenting. The people being fetishized would probably be mortified if they found this stuff.
Letters And Numbers:
I think most people would see that as an extreme take at the very least, or more likely just trolling. But everyone has their own trip so I hope that is a good one for you.
Idk about that. I mean the fat positive community sees the fat fetish community as inherently abusive. Not saying we are, but it's a very common take.
1 year
