It's understandable to be concerned when your partner wants to lose weight, especially if there's a feederism aspect in your relationship, whether acknowledged by your partner or not. Your concern might not just be about the weight loss itself but about how it could change the dynamic of your relationship or affect your attraction to your partner.

It sounds very much like you care for your partner, and being in therapy talking through these issues, and working on improving your communication will definitely help with a resolution. It doesn't sound like you are with your partner for physical attraction only, and there's a lot more to your relationship, so while the worry may creep in, just remember all the things you love about her.

Do you think your partner knows that you're attracted to her size / her eating, or do you think she really does see you as a doting husband, simply bringing her snacks and such whenever requested?

Is your wife losing weight for health reasons? Or is it simply that she's not happy with her body? The choice to lose weight is obviously your partners and of course you should support her decision regardless of the reason. But knowing the reason for this seemingly sudden change will make it a lot easier for you to deal with.

How much does your partner want to lose... Going from just over 300lbs down to 260lbs which appears to be the amount of weight gained in the relationship isn't really that drastic. I actually lost around this much at a similar weight without really trying over a couple of years and I am still pretty large / larger than most people I know.

There are ways to integrate aspects of feederism into your relationship without impacting her weight loss goals. Perhaps keeping feederism within certain areas of your relationship, like in the bedroom, could provide a balanced compromise for both of you.

But don't be too hard on yourself for being freaked out by change in your relationship. Change can be scary, but I'm sure you can work it out together.

Hey,

Thanks for responding. I think you may have already spotted this, but Hiccupx has put the search tool back for now!

Happy pic searching!

c00kie
FF Team

Weetabix is so good.

Have to say I only have 2 -3 myself but always a generous spoonful of sugar on top!

Hey all,

Just wanted to put this out there in case there's anyone local-ish who wants to enjoy a foodee day or weekend out.

Nantwich Food Festival is a 3 day event starting tomorrow 30th August 2024. I always pop along and it's a great festival that takes over the whole town!

There will be cooking demo's, cook along, famous chef's - I am going to see Cherish Finden on the Sunday - you will know her from Bake Off: The Professionals.

Theres also a huge variety of food stalls and vendors. Lots to purchase, and lots of free samples haha. It's such a fab event and there's loads to do, eating, shopping, music, speakers, cook alongs etc...

Maybe see some of you there!

nantwichfoodfestival.co.uk

My brother is both super tall and very large and he gets his clothes from here:

bigclothing4u.co.uk

I have also bought him clothing from John Banks for birthdays / Xmas presents.

bigandtallmenswear.co.uk

It's always annoying trying to find things in the UK for very large sizes. But both of the above I have seen the quality of the clothing and so I can definately recommend. Although admittadely, not much style or colour choice.

Just wanted to come and say that Munchies has highlighted something really important here. Secret Feeding is not welcome in this community as it is a form of abuse and control. We understand people may have fantasies about this sort of thing but acting on desires like this is manipulative and a dangerous dynamic to have in a relationship.

I am glad that you are ok and have help if you need it, but not everyone who is in a relationship like this has safety nets such as their own place. family or friends. So it's important that people know this behaviour is not normal or loving in anyway and a huge Red Flag.

Now that I've said that... I will try get back to your original post which appears to be about celebrating your new found fatness and self-love.

1: When did you get fat ?
I was always chubby as a teenager, and I have progressively got bigger and bigger from a youngish age.

2: How did you get fat ?
I got fat from my sheer love of food and eating. It started when I moved out to Uni and had the freedom to go out to eat, buy whatever food I wanted. I was restricted living at home as my parents were a bit frugal with food and were always trying to buy fat free versions of everything and keep their and my weight down. I love to cook, go out to restaurants, relax and snack, treat myself to fancy foods when I go shopping, I buy artisan cheese weekly for example. I find it indulgent and I guess I would consider myself a Foodee, so with that I have naturally put on weight.

3: Did you use to hate being fat ?
I've never hated myself for being fat, although I have had occasions where I don't like specific parts of my body or face. I think that's pretty normal to dislike your appearance from time to time, regardless of weight.

4: Do you love being fat now ?
I love being me... whatever form that comes in. As I have gotten older I have learned to accept myself who I am and what I like, and I don't aim to please others like I used to. I like my life and I am happy with that and the affects it ma have had on my waistline.

5: What's so great about being a fat woman ?
Nothing. Theres nothing I specifically admire about myself simply because I am fat. I am not a Feedee or gainer so being fat is not of any great importance to me... it just so happens that I am.

6: Do you have any insecurities about your looks now ?
Occasionally, but never weight related, those insecurities were long gone when I hit my 30's. As you get older you tend to care less about others good opinion because you realise the only opinion that really matters is your own.

Best advice from organising events in the past is that someone...anyone... needs to pick a date and run with it.

People may bail and some will still be up for it, but pick a date and location. Maybe best to keep it quite casual, day time park and picnic meet up. Drinks or even dinner somewhere... depending on the number dinner might be awkward due to making reservations etc...

Might also be worth setting up a group on kik or another chap application so people can join and keep in touch!

Good luck and hope you all have a fab time!