[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

BoopieBop:
I mean if you love them you'll stay with them. Peak fetish is nothing compared to actually having a connection with your partner. Be happy for them!


This is true. However, I fear they may be incompatible. He seems to put too much value on her appearance, and she seems to be both insecure and perfectly fine with cheating.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be bigger. She doesn't want to gain weight, and that is perfectly fine. It's one thing if all OP wanted was to feed her sometimes, but it seems he also wants her to change her body for his pleasure as well.

On the flip side of this, it's not cool for her to jump to the whole "I'll cheat on you" response. I get that she doesn't want to indulge his fetish, but the way she responded shows that she isn't trustworthy either. They might have found a compromise for his fetish, but there isn't a way to compromise trust.

I don't know what OP said to her or how OP said it, but it is clear as day that she has no interest in indulging this kink. OP would be wise in learning from this situation. You can date non-kinksters, but there's a way to do it. And this whole thing has been a train wreck.

OP, I cannot overstate the importance of talking to a therapist about your situation. From this small window you've given us into your inner world, I can see deep-rooted insecurities, shame, and maladaptive traits that will not serve you in navigating love and kink. Until you sort that shit out, you'll get nothing but repeats of this situation.
1 week
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Stuffing help

Lucy2cakes:
Looking for any advice in eating faster! Every time I stuff I always take too long and then not finish all of the food, any advice to going faster? smiley


Why do you take so long to eat?
1 week
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[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

Delta9:
You don't need a therapist. It's completely normal to feel less attracted to someone when they change away from your preferences. You're basically getting the bait and switch right. She was one way when you found her and now she's different.
The problem is, people change. If you stay in a relationship with anyone long enough they will eventually become unattractive.
Maybe it's better just to avoid long term relationships. It would be nice if they had an automatic end date that you could just not renew - Like letting your Netflix subscription run out.

And yes, many of us here have heard the "you're disgusting because you like fat people" from some currently or formerly fat person we were with.
You will not get any extra credit for loving her when she was fat and no one else would.


What in the incel?
1 week
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Whole animals i can eat

Munchies:
As a side note, do not eat bugs if you have a shellfish allergy. You will have an allergic reaction.

Morbidly A Beast:
Is it all insects or just the arthropods? My understanding is that they had a common ancestor some 2 billion years ago or something like that and that’s why we’re allergic to both?


I know a lot of people jokingly call seafood seabugs, but it's more accurate to say bugs are like ... land shrimp.
1 week
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[24m] struggling with feederism and partner’s [24f] weight loss – need advice

MlekoWTubce:
Thx for all the replies, we had very strong argument today about all of this. She is really into her weight loss and I dont want to stop her. There is a big chance that its all gonna end tbh, she thinks im fucked up and she told me i need to get "rid of it" or we done ://// not gonna lie that sucks hard i really love her but she says it means nothing because she doesnt "feel it". She threatens me with cheating if i "dont get this straight".
I think we close to done, I would never let a cheat slide and if she continues her weigh loss journey im afraid its gonna missalign with me further.
Sorry for english not my native language

Chubbyfoxgirl:
Sexual intimacy issues aside - your girlfriend has reacted very hurtful to a relatively harmless preference, has insulted and belittled you for finding heavier women attractive and confiding in her, and she has now threatened to cheat on you? If you don't "get rid of" a preference?

My dear, maybe a breakup might be for the best. She sounds immature, rude, slightly dumb (how exactly does she think one could get rid of sexual preferences) and overall like not the best partner


Gonna push back on how you characterized her.

Not defending the cheating. That's fucked. But you have to keep in mind that, from her perspective, OP is basically calling her ugly. That she isn't his type and he isn't happy with her body.

Not saying that's what OP is saying. But when your body goals don't align with your SO's wishes for you, there's only so many ways to take it that isn't negative. This is why I pushed for OP to talk to his therapist. He's got shit to sort out, and talking to his gf without sorting his shit out would only end in explosions.
1 week
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First stretch marks

KyleFatty:
Didn’t notice until this morning, but I can see 3 distinct stretch marks on my inner thighs!
Never had stretch marks before! Cool little milestone! I wonder when they will get to my belly?


Excite
1 week
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Would gaining 20lbs in 2 months be noticeable?

Dreezy:
For reference I’m 5’6 185lbs right now……so gaining 20lbs would put me at 205lbs…….

This is uncharted territory for me so that’s why I’m askin haha

Munchies:
Yes. Why do you ask?

Dreezy:
Ehh, well…..I’m visiting family this Christmas……and wondering if I’ll be able to hide it or not lol….

Munchies:
Why do you want to hide your gains?

Dreezy:
Honestly, because I’ve never been really fat before…….not sure if I want to deal with the reactions just yet…….also, I’m seeing them in May again and plane by then is to have hopefully gained about 50lbs by then and in a sense would rather deal with it then…..idunno…..

Munchies:
If you want rapid gains, you will need to make your peace with people noticing. This isn't clothes padding. You can't take off your pudge.

Why are you afraid of them noticing your new size?

Dreezy:
I think it’s an identity issue, I’ve always been seen as the “good looking fit guy”. That’s what my family and so many people know me as……so me getting fat might be a shock or even concerning to them……

Truth be told gaining weight to me isn’t about a “fetish” or anything like that……it’s just what I want to look like and what I want to live like.

Just worried they might not get that…..

Munchies:
Well, now you can be the good-looking fat guy. Try not to stress about it too much.

Dreezy:
Haha thanks for that 🙂 I appreciate your time replying this thread.


Anytime, love
2 weeks
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Would gaining 20lbs in 2 months be noticeable?

Dreezy:
For reference I’m 5’6 185lbs right now……so gaining 20lbs would put me at 205lbs…….

This is uncharted territory for me so that’s why I’m askin haha

Munchies:
Yes. Why do you ask?

Dreezy:
Ehh, well…..I’m visiting family this Christmas……and wondering if I’ll be able to hide it or not lol….

Munchies:
Why do you want to hide your gains?

Dreezy:
Honestly, because I’ve never been really fat before…….not sure if I want to deal with the reactions just yet…….also, I’m seeing them in May again and plane by then is to have hopefully gained about 50lbs by then and in a sense would rather deal with it then…..idunno…..

Munchies:
If you want rapid gains, you will need to make your peace with people noticing. This isn't clothes padding. You can't take off your pudge.

Why are you afraid of them noticing your new size?

Dreezy:
I think it’s an identity issue, I’ve always been seen as the “good looking fit guy”. That’s what my family and so many people know me as……so me getting fat might be a shock or even concerning to them……

Truth be told gaining weight to me isn’t about a “fetish” or anything like that……it’s just what I want to look like and what I want to live like.

Just worried they might not get that…..


Well, now you can be the good-looking fat guy. Try not to stress about it too much.
2 weeks
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Whole animals i can eat

Morbidly A Beast:
It’s a bit exotic and might be weird to some people but bugs are kinda tasty and a lot of time they are candied. Not exactly filling but an animal, and fully, none the less


As a side note, do not eat bugs if you have a shellfish allergy. You will have an allergic reaction.
2 weeks
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30lbs in 3 months???

Dreezy:
Wow man, appreciate the reply this great info!

Yea okay, sounds like it might be a bit more challenging than I’d originally planned……

So I’m 20lbs in 3 months might be a more realistic goal? I’m just trying to set real expectations, I wanna enjoy this process.

Also would 20lbs be noticeable? I’m currently 5’6 185lbs so that would put at about 205lbs (which is the heaviest I’ll have ever been btw)

Morbidly A Beast:
For clarity, when I did the math you would be 214 or something like that so when I said just short I meant 4 to 6 pounds assuming you maintain 3k-4k calories a day. It’s not about the difficulty or anything just it’s just raw numbers.

It might be challenging it might not be, I don’t know how active you are and what your appetite is like… if you can’t eat a lot it might be challenging but if you can eat a lot it’s more doable.

20-30lbs is noticeable, given your height.

Dreezy:
Definitely, I’m averaging anywhere from 2500 to 3000 calories a day right now. Been doing for about the last 2 weeks and honestly it’s been fairly easy…….the only thing is I do have muscle mass so you can still see some definition……

I made the descion to stop working out a month ago as my sciatica was acting up so I’ve been SUPER sedentary……in your experience how long until you saw muscle definition and mass go down? I’m not really into the whole muscle chub hard belly thing, I just want to be soft haha.


If you have sciatica, you need to be active. The heavier you get, the more strain you will put on your back. You don't need to be super muscular, but it will behoove you to keep your back and core strong enough to mitigate that.
2 weeks
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