Searching led me to this ad by Century Tuna:


EDIT:
And this one by Sealect:


EDIT 2:
And its sequel...


Now I want to know who did it first...

I haven't tried to come out to many people outside this community besides my partners. When I brought it up with my partners, it was only after talking about their own kinks and the kinks that I have besides feederism.

I get the feeling that most people who aren't into something *at least* as fringe as BDSM will react more judgmentally than those who understand kink firsthand.

So while I do feel somewhat "closeted" still, and that sometimes feels frustrating, it's important to remember that as important as *this* kink is to us, kink in *general* isn't nearly as important--or agreeable to converse about--to many normies.

My account is less than a year old, and I've known I was into feederism since before I was out of middleschool, if memory serves. That's almost a decade of mostly lurking, sometimes doing RP with other people, but always with an air of extreme anonymity.

I also felt highly conflicted about sexuality in general, having been raised Catholic, and the idea of being turned on and masturbating to something so taboo led to years of mental self-flagellation.

It took quite a long time to accept my sexuality despite thinking it was immoral, then even longer to shed the idea that it was inherently immoral. Part of that came down to realizing that enjoying ourselves can't be evil if it doesn't hurt others, and that even when it comes to something risky like feederism, people have the ability to make their own decisions and accept risks.

I did see that, now that you mention it.
Certainly "taken advantage of" wasn't the best wording, in that case. I apologize if that caused harm.

I think this workweek has just got me jumping at shadows. Regardless, OP can make their own decisions; just would have felt bad not voicing concern when my instincts are roused.

I have to say, I have to agree with the sentiment here.

It may be because we're lacking context or insight into your communication styles, but I don't read much enthusiasm from that snippet of conversation--and that makes me worried that either you're being taken advantage of or she feels obligated to go along with this in order to continue receiving your support.

I hope I'm just being paranoid, though.

1. Get to know each other and learn to love each other's non-superficial qualities.

2. Tell her you have a feederism kink. In return, show curiosity for her kinks and preferences.

3. Ask if she'd be interested in gaining weight. Accept whatever answer she gives.

4. If you didn't like her answer, and that would ruin the relationship for you, find someone else and start over at step 1.

This is well put. I think one issue is that people often lack empathy for different preferences and situations. It's too easy to assume that everyone wants what you want, be it a stuffing, pictures of genitalia, or astronomical weight gain.

Without being curious about other people's experiences and desires, we set ourselves up to fail at treating others with dignity and respect.

Sounds nice! I'll send you a DM!

Sorry for the wall of text. It's been weighing on my mind recently how far-behind the feederism community seems on this front.

It seems unlikely to me that the people who really would have something to learn from this post, or from educating themselves about consent, will ever read this.

But I think it's still important that the rest of us keep speaking up, as I've seen many do, when we see posts encouraging or callously discussing abuse.

I don't see the nature of proper consent brought up enough in this community. I would hope it all goes without saying. Unfortunately, I know not everyone is on the same page about this.

I am no means an expert. I'm a virgin with one scene of BDSM under my belt. But in the lead-up to that, the most important thing that was stressed to me, which was reiterated and reinforced from the very first article about what different people gain from BDSM to the rules posted in the club we went to, was consent. This was often described with terms like RACK.

The term RACK needs to be front and center when talking about feederism.

RACK stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. It is one of a few terms that describes what kinds of activities are ethically permissible in kink. One definition reads:




It should go without saying, but without risk-aware consent, it isn't feederism, it's abuse.

People who don't have the consent of their partner to feed or fatten them and yet try to do so anyway, subtly or overtly, are not feeders with feedees; they are abusers with victims.

If your partner isn't consenting to gaining weight or eating more than they should, any amount of emotional manipulation, self-destructive enablement, or physical coercion isn't "hot." It isn't feederism. It's not a kink. It's abuse.

And omitting or down-playing the risks of feederism to try to solicit someone's consent is abuse.

Feederism isn't entirely safe. Ensuring all parties involved with some feederism activity, be it gaining, stuffing, force-feeding, or humiliation, are aware of the risks involved with that activity is a prerequisite to ethical feederism.

The responsibility for ensuring that all parties are aware of the risk lies with every person involved in the activity. That means every person--not just the person who bears those risks.

If a feeder has any doubt at all that their feedee isn't fully aware of the risks of gaining weight or eating too much sugar--indeed, if a discussion of those risks hasn't been had at all--then the feeder has an obligation to make those risks known.

And willful ignorance of the risks is not a valid excuse for abusive behavior; in the age of the internet, it is trivially easy to do the research required to learn about the risks involved with any activity, especially if that activity is something like gaining weight.

Only after those risks are established can consent be given--which must be given enthusiastically. The lack of a "no" does not constitute consent. "Yes" only means yes if it is given by an informed and clear-minded individual without the threat of retaliation. And a "yes" once does not mean "yes" forever--it doesn't even mean "yes" for the entire duration of the activity. Consent must be continuous as well; it can be revoked at any time.

Involuntary feeding, secret fattening, and other kinds of nonconsensual feederism have a place: in fiction.

Outside of those places, it is abuse.