Unfortunately it’ll likely be genetics. I gain mostly in my belly but got big thighs when I got to 250+ and it’s also where I’ve lost from first

The bigger you get they will get bigger but sometimes it’s luck of the draw where and when

Let’s not get started on Mums and their Fatphobia ways, especially boomers we would need a new threat to trauma dump haha

I’m not sure what qualifies as the fattest there’s so many things.

-Would stop at the shop everyday on the way home from school and get multiple chocolate and cream cakes to have on the way home before dinner. I’d have usually had a bakery treat for break time during school as well.

-(some people would have already seen this that came out in a chat leak yesterday 😂…) I was sat at the very back of the bus home from work where it’s very “bouncy” over the many road bumps here. My work top started to ride out and my belly poking out more and more. Was feeling a bit deviant that day so I let it. The window was visible from the seat up so anyone outside would have seen me in all my fat glory!

- Ripped too tight work tights sitting down on the bus. Ripped seams of trousers sitting down at the computer (luckily wfh) about to join a meeting. To name a few popped buttons and zips experiences.

- Went through a bit of a Baileys phase so would easily get through a bottle every few days, sometimes over that so 3000-4000 calories

There’s so many over the years I wish I’d kept note but at the time, I was trying to pretend they didn’t happen 😂

1. Been fed IRL
No 😞

2. Ate myself to sleep
Yes, a little too often.

3. Had sex while being fed at the same time
Not IRL

4. Stolen food because I’m just a piggy
Not stolen as such, sneaked it secretly many times

5. Been called a fat name in public
Many times

6. Had a stranger pat or poke my belly
Doctor patted my bare belly unexpectedly a couple of weeks back after finishing an examination does that count? 😂

7. Been fatter than my current weight
By around 50lbs, yes

8. Ripped clothes or popped a button
Yes, on purpose and accidentally

9. Broken furniture because of my weight
Yes

10. Seen an actual pig and got turned on
No

11. Fantasized about immobility
No

12. Ate until I threw up
I don’t think so

13. Got stuck somewhere because of my size
Not in the literal sense but I’ve had to find alternative ways through where others could squeeze through a gap and I couldn’t

14. Posted nudes of myself online
No

15. Been fed online
Yes

16. Been told I need to lose weight by a family member
Yes

17. Had a partner who worshiped my fat
No 😭

18. Started rubbing my belly in public
Yes, I think I do it unintentionally quite often too

19. Been called a pig
Only online I think

20. Been weighed and measured by my partner
Nope

21. Been in a gaining competition with another gainer
No - all my gaining has been accidental

Yeh, it’s really handy for that. I’ve made a separate thread for completing and sharing the jars but here’s the link if anyone’s interested - feedism.neocities.org/explore/jars

I had someone message about where to find the blank kink jar template of the pictures on my profile so thought I’d post it here for all who might be interested. I think it’s handy to put on our profiles to see a little bit more what makes us all tick! (Or not so much)

feedism.neocities.org/explore/jars

And my jar links (also in my pics folder)

drive.google.com/file/d/1meBu2Tx3QFSWh0fonOD9oRuHX_U1gH5n/view

drive.google.com/file/d/1OvG-JbHV7ErLJRuvz4g9s9GhrcAc90-a/view

As others have said I think it varies greatly. I filled out the “kink jars” on my profile which I thinks really helpful in letting people know what you like and what isn’t really your thing. Personally teasing me about how big I’ve let myself get is the main one!

Really well put!

I would love there to be more research into it but I am convinced there has to be genetics and a cross over of nurture/nature dynamics.

Haha! Legend! Thank you ☺️ Literally spoke to someone who said they were sorry and accepted it, said they wouldn’t do it again, then did the same thing less than 24 hours later. 🙄

Been speaking through my frustrations with “Chaz” (My much more manageable name for ChatGPT) and maybe I’m just looking for more than most of the people in these spaces are either capable of, or want themselves.

I’m not satisfied being used as a place for someone to protect their fantasy onto anymore. The thing that actually affects me is mutual attunement - emotional, intellectual and erotic connection all tied together. Feeling seen as a whole person, not just a body/project/role.

The kink side matters to me, obviously, but it only really comes alive for me when there’s depth - humour, curiosity, emotional safety, mutual fascination and some genuine connection underneath it. Otherwise it just feels empty pretty quickly.

Once you’ve experienced that kind of mutual attunement it becomes very hard to feel fulfilled by interactions that lack it.

Unfortunately it’s incredibly rare to find that. I should be grateful I got that at all. So - do I carry on wandering the kink space like the John Travolta meme 🤷‍♀️ or remove myself from this space altogether - which is a shame after only recently accepting and embracing this part of myself, or just take a break?

For me, it’s the other way around. The more I have a connection with someone if they push that narrative of “you need to be more than you are” too much it just puts me off. Especially when it’s all about how much better I must have been 50lbs more knowing for my health, I can’t go there again - that’s upsetting for me in particular.

But ultimately it’s about balance. Like, I don’t mind the language where it calls for it in play but it being the centre of everything, especially being compared to the old/better me. I can’t relax knowing I’ll never be “good enough”.

Just have a think people about how it might come across to the people you’re talking to in their particular situations.