Feedback on my first chapter of the first story i have written.

I didn't like it.

This story has no point. It makes no sense and that ungodly list of food at the end is insane.

"Took a couple of hours to eat it" You put more effort into the porn scene at the beginning and what we all came for when we read these stories you just gloss over and ignore it.

Also "snapped back to reality" I really don't know what you meant there either. I read it three times and couldn't tell what the day dream was. Was it the breakfast she was imagining or what. And if she ate all of that, why in the world would she be ready for a drive through trip so soon, lol no.

I don't know what "Grrruuullppp" means.

You need to find your own voice. It feels like you read a bunch of crap FF stories on here saw that people liked that and thought..

"I can do that" and you copied them. So my suggestion would be is to start over.

Give the character a name, a life. Not just "she" If you want to shoot for realism, be realistic. That list of food you put down there would be enough to kill someone, and if they ate like that everyday there wouldn't be anyway they'd fit into a car to go get drive through.

Tell us what she looks like. Who she is and make us care more about her than just a fetish standpoint of view for people to jack off to on the internet.

I feel you want to be a writer on some level, you need to find your voice like I said. And skip all the prose. All that proves to anyone is they have to learn how to read you and just starting out you're going to want to be easy to pick up but hard to put down.

You can write how you want to, but you won't get anywhere until you write like you need to. It has to make you feel more than just good, you need to feel like you actually accomplished something.

Good luck.
9 years

Is feeding cheating????

I'd say no, it's not cheating if you tell your SO about it.

It'd be like going to a BDSM dungeon once a month...or a movie by yourself they wouldn't like.

If you hide it, yes. If not, then no. Life is too short to sacrifice what you really want and if you choose to be with someone who isn't into it, well, you settled and you have to live with it.

With open communication and understanding, this shouldn't even be an issue. Treat it like you treat going to a movie alone somewhere.

Keep it a secret and its bad. Bring it up in conversation and it'll be fine.

If you're even lucky enough to find someone close enough to you who'd be into it you'd have a good start.

hiding is cheating, communication is always better in this situation.

You can't be in this kind of a fetish without having an open mind in the first place.
9 years

What are some good eating fat cam sites to affiliate with?

Don't do it. Instead....be smart and take my advice.

If you want to get paid to eat, lets make something people will never forget.
9 years

Plenty of fish

I am on POF too, but like most places once you tell them you're a feeder, they tend to panic and disappear.

Lots of people abandoned me on that site, I haven't checked it in over a year now lol.
9 years

* location shout outs part 3*

Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
9 years

Can't anyone just talk?

Sure, message me. I'll talk!
9 years

New chat (beta)

No option to block anyone might be a bit concerning to people.

That should be a thing.

Also no lobby. Maybe you don't want to announce yourself to the world that you're online to everyone in the chat. Not everyone likes the spotlight, we lurk for reasons on occasion.

The online list should be in the chat room, not a different list.

The "Reply and Chat" options should not be next to one another.

When you look at another profile, it shouldn't have to be in another tab. As it is now clicking on anything else closes the chat.

I had one PC experience and clicked on their profile, it closed the PC and when I came back to chat I couldn't reopen the chat.

Is it ten PC's a day or ten, but only one per person a day?

This might be a personal choice thing but the bubble chat seems to be unsettling to me. I don't know why I don't like it but I've never seen Bubble Chat be used in any other kind of chat I've been in before. It feels more like Texting on a phone and impersonal.

It doesn't feel comfortable to be in this kind of chat anymore. I can't quite explain it.

Old chat felt like going into a bar or a club. You could pick a room and even though most of the time it was always one room or another being most active, the option of choice was nice.

And if FF was a few years ago and as active as it used to be. Could you imagine a chat room like this. Thousands of people hitting chat and being put into a room like this all at the same time?

It'd be insane, or crash the site! lol


Anyway, that's just what I think and have noticed so far.
9 years

Bbw vs bhm

Well gee, this isn't an article copied and pasted or anything like that.


This is a legit post...in the shape of a troll.
10 years

Rip chunkabell

I'm going to miss you.

We talked to one another all the time and god knows we've had our issues.

I hope you get to rest in peace. I'm sure you will.

I was pretty shocked to hear this news, like everyone else.

Thank you for all of the good times..and some of the bad. This place wouldn't have been the same with out them.

Rest in peace, Bri.
12 years