Thanks. Continued good healing to you too. I was never flexible to begin with, so belly or not getting to my toes was always a challenge. Lol But I have a bit less flexibility now. I've had the go-ahead to get back in the gym to workout, but nothing like I used to. I'll lift for strength and muscle growth, and do cardio for c/v health and stamina, but not weight loss. I like my belly!

I don't know about women, but I think for non-gainer guys it's a matter of "meh, who cares?"

But for me for example, today I'm wearing a button front shirt that's feeling and looking pleasantly snug. It's not ready to burst asunder but the buttons are definitely pulling when I stand, even more so when I sit. I never would have worn it with my previous fatphobia. Now, I'm hoping people are thinking "he really is getting fat".

Wow, you're really on to something here about tensing being detrimental. A thousand thanks.

My fusion is L3/L4, L4/L5, L5/S1. Pain doc said my fusion is such that it's affecting my SI joint. I tecently had RFA for it to zap the misbehaving nerves. It's helping somewhat.

At every visit he points to my belly and says "that's not helping". Yet my ortho surgeon said my belly is a non-issue. He told me he got a workout flipping me onto my back (he went in through my belly and back) and trying to get through the muscle. He said I'm built like a pitbull inside. I know it sounds like I'm blowing my own vertübenflügen.

What I like when I do relax it is how it is beginning to hang. So yeah, I can do it. I tend towards a hard basketball belly but I hope I can put enough blubber on it to make the top layer soft and droopy.

I have a large family. I don't see or communicate with them very often because frankly, we don't have much to meaningfully talk about. I don't think DNA and blood necessarily a family make. There's a very large age gap between my siblings and me. I'm actually closer in age to my nieces and nephews.

Anyway, my two sisters and two of my nieces are very outspoken and opinionated.

Yesterday my brother from Arizona and his wife were at my sister's house for quite the family gathering. A few of my my nieces and nephews and their teenage children were there.

Now, I haven't seen the kids (brother's and sisters's grandchildren) since they were little tykes... basically we are strangers.

My sisters and nieces have always had something to say to me and about anything. It ranges from my few tattoos and their meanings; my food choices (I am Hindu and do not eat beef or any mammals); the fact that I became Hindu (they are Catholic when necessary); and such. I'm weird according to them.

I have put on a lot of weight since I last saw them almost three years ago. I like myself the way I am and want to gain more weight.

From past experience I know how it would go: "hey, what the hell happened to you!?"; "hey what's up with the weight?"; "you need to do something about that gut"; etc. Those are not so bad in and of themselves except that I know it would be said in front of these kids I don't know, and out loud.

I chose to not go because I've had enough of their mockery and comments, which they brush off as "teasing". The problem with this is that we range in age from 40s to 70s... we're not children.

So the question for disinterested third parties: was I right or wrong to avoid an occasion that I am 90% sure would result in my humiliation?

For some reason that made me chuckle. I can imagine the delivery.

I think "suck in" was the wrong term. It's more like tensing my abs (I know they're in there somewhere lol) and holding them. Of course that may be a good thing for my back. But I noticed in the past week or so that even if I do that my belly is really out there. It's a good look and feeling.

It is indeed a self-image issue. It's becoming more natural to relax my gut because I'm becoming more comfortable and accepting of how I look. And because my belly is growing. I hit 50".

I think so. My self-image has changed for the better.

Mine are not all that big yet but since I stopped working out I've lost a lot of the muscle. My chest measures the same but it's definitely softer and squishier. So far I like it.

I have a round belly. I like beachball bellies on muscled guys but I do like a soft blubbery belly too.

We done got some respectable belly sizes here, gentlemen!