Feeling a tad invisible
Munchies:
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Ah. That makes more sense. Yes, I will agree with you on that.
Besides, women generally gravitate to erotica over any other sexual outlet. And if you want decent erotica, most women will go to places like DA or AO3 before we go to FF. Why? Because the bulk of the stories on FF are centered on the male gaze. DA and AO3 have more variety - with 70 - 80% of the writers on AO3 being female.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
ForeverFFA:
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
ForeverFFA:
Straight women absolutely do discuss men's bodies--they just don't tend to do it directly in front of them in most contexts since they sense that would be kind of weird. My question isn't so much why don't FFAs exist (since I know from personal experience that they do) but rather why they seem to be forgotten even when they're speaking up or otherwise drawing attention to their existence.
I also don't want to leave lesbian/bi FFAs out of this discussion.
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
ForeverFFA:
Straight women absolutely do discuss men's bodies--they just don't tend to do it directly in front of them in most contexts since they sense that would be kind of weird. My question isn't so much why don't FFAs exist (since I know from personal experience that they do) but rather why they seem to be forgotten even when they're speaking up or otherwise drawing attention to their existence.
I also don't want to leave lesbian/bi FFAs out of this discussion.
So true, bestie. Our LGBTQIA+ sisters are out here fighting in the trenches every day. And you also can't forget trans women and femme-aligned NBs.
As for women not telling a man upfront if we think he's cute or not, I think it's more of a cultural thing.
I grew up in a military family, so I'm used to hanging around the military types. I am used to women being very upfront about if we find a man cute or not. I've seen women very brazenly tell a man they thinks he's sexy. I've seen women tell a man he looks ugly.
These days, I live in the South away from military spaces. People around here aren't so brazen - regardless of gender.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
ForeverFFA:
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
What a weird way to say you don't talk people. Men have a lot of body diversity. And women are very vocal about our body preferences. And we will 100% tell men if we find them attractive or not and why.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
Morbidly A Beast:
Male sexuality drives markets, so imo its supply and demand that drives the discrepancy between female fa/feeder. There’s simply less women who like fat guys then there are men who are fa/feeders.
Where it doesn’t make sense is in our own spaces. Like it should be a given that there are feedees and feeders of all types.
Male sexuality drives markets, so imo its supply and demand that drives the discrepancy between female fa/feeder. There’s simply less women who like fat guys then there are men who are fa/feeders.
Where it doesn’t make sense is in our own spaces. Like it should be a given that there are feedees and feeders of all types.
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
1 year
Round face
NoMoYoYo:
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
Munchies:
The best thing anyone can do is know what they eat - fetish or not. If you are eating fast food, you can find the details on the website.
Many people don't look at the nutritional labels on food because they don't feel a need to. Meanwhile, many feedists are afraid to look because they feel guilty for "ruining" their bodies.
Both views aren't wise. You wouldn't build a house without checking the materials. You should do the same with the food you eat.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat fast food because its easy calories. I've been on their nutrition info pages, but basically to see the calories (and fats, carbs, protein). But I haven't done a deep dive to see what's actually in the food. ie salt/sodium content. Or in any food really. Every gain I've ever done has involved a lot of fast food. I know I should cut back. Especially if I'm looking for a prolonged, slower gain, but I like it too much. Which is probably why I get to a point that I'd rather not gain any more. I'm hoping to turn the page there. I just wanna be fat.
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
Munchies:
The best thing anyone can do is know what they eat - fetish or not. If you are eating fast food, you can find the details on the website.
Many people don't look at the nutritional labels on food because they don't feel a need to. Meanwhile, many feedists are afraid to look because they feel guilty for "ruining" their bodies.
Both views aren't wise. You wouldn't build a house without checking the materials. You should do the same with the food you eat.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat fast food because its easy calories. I've been on their nutrition info pages, but basically to see the calories (and fats, carbs, protein). But I haven't done a deep dive to see what's actually in the food. ie salt/sodium content. Or in any food really. Every gain I've ever done has involved a lot of fast food. I know I should cut back. Especially if I'm looking for a prolonged, slower gain, but I like it too much. Which is probably why I get to a point that I'd rather not gain any more. I'm hoping to turn the page there. I just wanna be fat.
I'm not saying you can't be fat. I'm a feeder, after all. I'm just saying you gotta be smart about it. I have seen many a gainer and feedee have to stop gaining completely because their gaining methods screwed up their health. The same can be said about the slow and steady gainers.
I don't think you wanna go from a yo-yo dieter to someone who cannot gain under pain of death.
1 year
Round face
NoMoYoYo:
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
The best thing anyone can do is know what they eat - fetish or not. If you are eating fast food, you can find the details on the website.
Many people don't look at the nutritional labels on food because they don't feel a need to. Meanwhile, many feedists are afraid to look because they feel guilty for "ruining" their bodies.
Both views aren't wise. You wouldn't build a house without checking the materials. You should do the same with the food you eat.
1 year
Round face
NoMoYoYo:
On this weight gain journey the one thing I've noticed is how quickly my face has started to round.
When I weighed 258, I had a round face (thats my Irish genes). But it seems to be taking hold much quicker this time. This is on top of getting softer overall.
Is a fat, round face something to try to acquire? If not, is there a way to avoid it?
Munchies:
You'll gain where you gain. Nothing you can do about it. Some people get a fat face. Some people don't. It is what it is. If you don't like it, there are surgeries for that.
NoMoYoYo:
A fat face is definitely inevitable for me. It's just never shown up this quickly in previous gains. I think I'm eating even more calories than the last time I gained. I have been trying to gain slower, but I haven't had any luck so far. I'm sure that it's contributing to my softness/fat face.
I don't hate the round face. Like I said, its part of who I am. I don't think I'd get surgery for it. I just think that its a sign I'm gaining too fast. I hope that it doesn't scare me away from gaining even more.
Munchies:
Are you keeping a food journal? You should keep track of what you eat and make note of things. That way you can see where you need to make changes.
It's also possible that your metabolism is getting slower.
NoMoYoYo:
I haven't kept a food journal. I do keep a running tally on my phone's calculator of calories I consume every day. I've been hovering around 4500 calories a day. Friday I reached 5100. The changes I need to make are: Eat less hahaha.
My metabolism is most likely a factor too. Especially since in this gain I've been very sedentary. I'm hoping to start exercising a bit this week.
On this weight gain journey the one thing I've noticed is how quickly my face has started to round.
When I weighed 258, I had a round face (thats my Irish genes). But it seems to be taking hold much quicker this time. This is on top of getting softer overall.
Is a fat, round face something to try to acquire? If not, is there a way to avoid it?
Munchies:
You'll gain where you gain. Nothing you can do about it. Some people get a fat face. Some people don't. It is what it is. If you don't like it, there are surgeries for that.
NoMoYoYo:
A fat face is definitely inevitable for me. It's just never shown up this quickly in previous gains. I think I'm eating even more calories than the last time I gained. I have been trying to gain slower, but I haven't had any luck so far. I'm sure that it's contributing to my softness/fat face.
I don't hate the round face. Like I said, its part of who I am. I don't think I'd get surgery for it. I just think that its a sign I'm gaining too fast. I hope that it doesn't scare me away from gaining even more.
Munchies:
Are you keeping a food journal? You should keep track of what you eat and make note of things. That way you can see where you need to make changes.
It's also possible that your metabolism is getting slower.
NoMoYoYo:
I haven't kept a food journal. I do keep a running tally on my phone's calculator of calories I consume every day. I've been hovering around 4500 calories a day. Friday I reached 5100. The changes I need to make are: Eat less hahaha.
My metabolism is most likely a factor too. Especially since in this gain I've been very sedentary. I'm hoping to start exercising a bit this week.
That's a good start. But remember, not all calories are created equal. If tracking calories is working for you, that's fine. But it's also good to be mindful of the foods you eat. For example, foods high in sodium can cause excess water retention. This would make you appear to be fatter than you are.
1 year
I want to gain but when i eat enough to get bigger i feel sick
Occamslaser:
Even sticking to around 4000 calories a day, Ill feel fine for the first few weeks of excess and then start to feel messed up. My appetites spotty, I start getting nauseous when I over eat, my sleep gets kinda messed up.
Anyone else experience this?
Even sticking to around 4000 calories a day, Ill feel fine for the first few weeks of excess and then start to feel messed up. My appetites spotty, I start getting nauseous when I over eat, my sleep gets kinda messed up.
Anyone else experience this?
This is a very simple fix. Eat fewer calories.
The average person eats about 2,000 to 2,500 calories a day. You are trying to eat twice that. No wonder you are feeling ill.
Start with an amount you can comfortably consume, and slowly increase your intake over time. This is a marathon, not a race.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
ForeverFFA:
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
It's very annoying. Every time I see an outsider talk about feedism, it's always "men getting off on fattening up women." The heteronormativity is strong.
In most media, men only want a fat woman because of control reasons. He's not attracted to her so much as he thinks a "lesser woman" is more willing to put up with his bullshit than a "conventional woman." Meanwhile, the media shows women going after fat men as gold diggers. After all, who'd want a fat man unless he was super rich or had some social capital?
The only exception to this thinking is if the people involved are a specific kind of POC, like a black person or Polynesian. The thinking there is, "Well, of course, they want a fatty. They're all lazy and gluttonous. It makes perfect sense." But that's less about kink and more about fatphobia having a strong racial component to it as well.
That said, I think the biggest reason why the media thinks the way it does hearkens back to an earlier time in the community. As bad as the female FA/feeder representation is now, it used to be a lot worse. The popular feedist spaces were male-dominated and adhered to very rigid gender roles. There wasn't even a lot of bhm content unless you went into gay spaces. There were some FFA/BHM spaces, but they were hardly as popular.
We as a community have done a piss poor job at improving the representation too. I remember coming across an interview earlier this year where a podcast interviewed a female feedee to get more insight into the community. And while it was an overall good interview, the feedee explicitly stated that men where feeders and women are feedees.
1 year
Round face
NoMoYoYo:
On this weight gain journey the one thing I've noticed is how quickly my face has started to round.
When I weighed 258, I had a round face (thats my Irish genes). But it seems to be taking hold much quicker this time. This is on top of getting softer overall.
Is a fat, round face something to try to acquire? If not, is there a way to avoid it?
Munchies:
You'll gain where you gain. Nothing you can do about it. Some people get a fat face. Some people don't. It is what it is. If you don't like it, there are surgeries for that.
NoMoYoYo:
A fat face is definitely inevitable for me. It's just never shown up this quickly in previous gains. I think I'm eating even more calories than the last time I gained. I have been trying to gain slower, but I haven't had any luck so far. I'm sure that it's contributing to my softness/fat face.
I don't hate the round face. Like I said, its part of who I am. I don't think I'd get surgery for it. I just think that its a sign I'm gaining too fast. I hope that it doesn't scare me away from gaining even more.
On this weight gain journey the one thing I've noticed is how quickly my face has started to round.
When I weighed 258, I had a round face (thats my Irish genes). But it seems to be taking hold much quicker this time. This is on top of getting softer overall.
Is a fat, round face something to try to acquire? If not, is there a way to avoid it?
Munchies:
You'll gain where you gain. Nothing you can do about it. Some people get a fat face. Some people don't. It is what it is. If you don't like it, there are surgeries for that.
NoMoYoYo:
A fat face is definitely inevitable for me. It's just never shown up this quickly in previous gains. I think I'm eating even more calories than the last time I gained. I have been trying to gain slower, but I haven't had any luck so far. I'm sure that it's contributing to my softness/fat face.
I don't hate the round face. Like I said, its part of who I am. I don't think I'd get surgery for it. I just think that its a sign I'm gaining too fast. I hope that it doesn't scare me away from gaining even more.
Are you keeping a food journal? You should keep track of what you eat and make note of things. That way you can see where you need to make changes.
It's also possible that your metabolism is getting slower.
1 year
