You can't beat butter, Branston pickle, and then slices of melted cheese, grilled so the cheese melts and goes bubbly.

Although butter and proper home-made bitter orange marmalade (less sugary than the shop ones) is pretty awesome.

I agree with Quintessence that persistence is key. I've said no on a few occasions because I assumed the boy asking was either half taking the mickey, or was desperate so he approached me as the chubby girl rather than my more traditionally-considered-attractive slim friends because he thought they were out of his league.

The other thing I'd say is this - although I'm in 2 minds about it because I feel it sort of betrays the "make people realise that fat is perfectly fine" movement. It's that before I accepted my body shape & learned to love it, it was easier for me to hear compliments concerning my tits'n'ass because it's part of our culture that some boys like bigger, rounder boobs and backsides. I was more likely to believe a boy genuinely fancied me if he was known for loving well-endowed girls. I figured he'd put up with the big belly etc that goes along with it on me. I'm not saying lie about your preference for bigger girls, but if you're looking to pay a compliment it's gonna sit better with her if you voice that you admire those more traditionally-lusted-after areas.

As I say, it's not great for the fat acceptance movement, but I know that back in the day I simply wouldn't have believed someone if they'd complimented my tummy or chubby legs/arms. I'd have assumed it was a sideways way of saying I needed to diet, and the fact they'd even noticed would be mortifying.

It's really tricky because as you've already recognised, it's so ingrained in most girls' psyches that fat is bad that they won't even come out and socialise in your area, let alone believe you find them attractive, so patience and a gradual approach are always gonna be required.

Take responsibility. Why are you dependent on a girlfriend? Why don't you do well in groups? Why do you so willingly let yourself off the hook and accept it's "just me"? Why are you transferring the blame to others for their shocking failure to reply? Why are you whining when I think you have already spelled out to us all what the real issue is, ie. your unwillingness to make things better for yourself? Don't expect a girlfriend to take on this mess and make it all better for you. What would be in it for her? Give the self pity a rest.

Fantastic pictures Softgirl!

Bitofanutter in her panda suit

Well it looks like Seabear, who started this thread, has left already... now something that really irritates me is when people arrive here and then just delete their profile just as you were getting to know them. Even worse is if they come in here, criticise people, and then leave without giving it a chance...

So like yeah. What. Ever.

I agree with all the above, but just remember there are so many more men than women on this site and it must be tough for all but the suavest! I try to imagine what it must be like to be in their position, and sympathise. It's not easy to come up with something cool, witty and original. BUT it's far more likely to get a favourable response if you've read a girl's profile and can really demonstrate you've got something you want to talk to them about, as opposed to just wanting to get your leg over.

And can I add: I get tons of 18-21 yr old messaging me. Even taking into account that some are bound to be 57 really, it seems unlikely that so many 18 yr olds really want to chat me up. And before anyone jumps down my throat for being ageist, I'm really not - I'm happy to talk to anyone with something interesting & well-expressed to say, and there are plenty of 18 yr olds who can do that. But being realistic I reckon what's really happened is that they haven't even read enough of my profile to know that I'm probably older than their mum.

So yeah. Read the profile or you're just contributing to the girls' impressions of guys scattergunning messages indiscriminately to anything female. But we girls also have to remember we're in the fortunate position of being able to criticise & pick & choose because that's how the numbers work out. Being all princessy about it does not become us.

Yeah I agree, this is definitely an interesting topic.

I know that conflict that Filly describes well. I fetishise my weight and shape and size and take particular pleasure in it when I put on weight, albeit that I've never jumped in and done so on purpose.

But on the other hand I still diet (not for long, it's too difficult and boring) and exercise, although the latter is more for the convenience of being vaguely fit, which I find is less hassle than being unfit. And the reason for dieting is that I still feel that being thinner makes clothes look better or would for some reason make me happier. This is despite loving the way I and other people on here look. So I anticipate never being able to resolve this.

BUT here's the good part: I like the conflict. I think it's the most interesting thing about having this fetish/preference/extra-curricular activity, or whatever you want to call it. I love observing it in other people too - I find it really hot when cute boys gain and then stress about the extra pounds and work out in an effort to shift it. Heh. And part of the draw for fetishsing my own shape is knowing that it's "wrong" or "naughty" to let yourself get fat. It's on that cusp between disgust and revelling in it that the fetish lies for me. So being told off for being fat features in a few of my fantasies and I like the idea of role playing in which someone (who's really an FA) pretends to be shocked and horrified at how fat I am, etc.

So that's my way of dealing with it Fillster - make the actual conflict fun and then the fact that we get pulled in 2 different directions - which I suspect is inevitable - isn't a problem any more.

Heh.

If anyone has a solution for this (other than wear long trousers or wear hotpants so small they are supposed to be stuck in your crotch) I would be glad to know it! However, I've had this happen with all kinds/styles of shorts ever since I was a teenager/early 20s and I was about 140lbs (I'm 5'8". So I'm pretty sure that it's gonna happen unless I become virtually a skeleton.

Don't we all look lovely! Thanks for snapping & posting, Debz!