Feeling a tad invisible
Munchies:
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Munchies:
Ah. That makes more sense. Yes, I will agree with you on that.
Besides, women generally gravitate to erotica over any other sexual outlet. And if you want decent erotica, most women will go to places like DA or AO3 before we go to FF. Why? Because the bulk of the stories on FF are centered on the male gaze. DA and AO3 have more variety - with 70 - 80% of the writers on AO3 being female.
Morbidly A Beast:
What is AO3?
Is it the intimacy and being able to put yourselves into the scene that drive you towards eroticism?
ForeverFFA:
I can't answer about AO3 but at least from my perspective, visual content is not usually designed with the female gaze in mind, but erotica often is. Also, the story lines are more engaging. It's kind of a chicken and the egg scenario, though, where fewer women are interested in certain types of content, but could that be simply because it wasn't made for them?
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Munchies:
Ah. That makes more sense. Yes, I will agree with you on that.
Besides, women generally gravitate to erotica over any other sexual outlet. And if you want decent erotica, most women will go to places like DA or AO3 before we go to FF. Why? Because the bulk of the stories on FF are centered on the male gaze. DA and AO3 have more variety - with 70 - 80% of the writers on AO3 being female.
Morbidly A Beast:
What is AO3?
Is it the intimacy and being able to put yourselves into the scene that drive you towards eroticism?
ForeverFFA:
I can't answer about AO3 but at least from my perspective, visual content is not usually designed with the female gaze in mind, but erotica often is. Also, the story lines are more engaging. It's kind of a chicken and the egg scenario, though, where fewer women are interested in certain types of content, but could that be simply because it wasn't made for them?
Here is one of many different tags you can search to find feedist stuff. I filtered some things for you, but feel free to play around with things.
archiveofourown.org/works
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
Munchies:
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Munchies:
Ah. That makes more sense. Yes, I will agree with you on that.
Besides, women generally gravitate to erotica over any other sexual outlet. And if you want decent erotica, most women will go to places like DA or AO3 before we go to FF. Why? Because the bulk of the stories on FF are centered on the male gaze. DA and AO3 have more variety - with 70 - 80% of the writers on AO3 being female.
Morbidly A Beast:
What is AO3?
Is it the intimacy and being able to put yourselves into the scene that drive you towards eroticism?
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Munchies:
Ah. That makes more sense. Yes, I will agree with you on that.
Besides, women generally gravitate to erotica over any other sexual outlet. And if you want decent erotica, most women will go to places like DA or AO3 before we go to FF. Why? Because the bulk of the stories on FF are centered on the male gaze. DA and AO3 have more variety - with 70 - 80% of the writers on AO3 being female.
Morbidly A Beast:
What is AO3?
Is it the intimacy and being able to put yourselves into the scene that drive you towards eroticism?
AO3 is also known as Archive of Our Own. I've talked about it before on this site. But I talk a lot in general, so it's easy to lose track of everything I say.
It's a site for users to post their stories. It's mainly for fanfiction, but there's a sizable amount of original works. You and post just about anything you want. Thankfully, there's a robust tagging system, so you can search for/avoid anything you like.
As for why erotica readers tend to skew female? Well, that's a complicated answer. But there's a few general reasons.
- Erotica is more likely to focus on the female gaze.
- Erotica makes it easier to fantasize about whatever you like.
- Western culture has less stigma on erotica than other types of porn in regards to women
There's a bunch of other reasons, but these are the biggest ones.
1 year
Round face
NoMoYoYo:
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
Munchies:
The best thing anyone can do is know what they eat - fetish or not. If you are eating fast food, you can find the details on the website.
Many people don't look at the nutritional labels on food because they don't feel a need to. Meanwhile, many feedists are afraid to look because they feel guilty for "ruining" their bodies.
Both views aren't wise. You wouldn't build a house without checking the materials. You should do the same with the food you eat.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat fast food because its easy calories. I've been on their nutrition info pages, but basically to see the calories (and fats, carbs, protein). But I haven't done a deep dive to see what's actually in the food. ie salt/sodium content. Or in any food really. Every gain I've ever done has involved a lot of fast food. I know I should cut back. Especially if I'm looking for a prolonged, slower gain, but I like it too much. Which is probably why I get to a point that I'd rather not gain any more. I'm hoping to turn the page there. I just wanna be fat.
Munchies:
I'm not saying you can't be fat. I'm a feeder, after all. I'm just saying you gotta be smart about it. I have seen many a gainer and feedee have to stop gaining completely because their gaining methods screwed up their health. The same can be said about the slow and steady gainers.
I don't think you wanna go from a yo-yo dieter to someone who cannot gain under pain of death.
NoMoYoYo:
It's not all fast food or even junk food. I do eat fruits and vegetables. But I do hear what you're saying.
Are there any foods you like to feed your partner that great for gaining but are on the healthier side?
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
Munchies:
The best thing anyone can do is know what they eat - fetish or not. If you are eating fast food, you can find the details on the website.
Many people don't look at the nutritional labels on food because they don't feel a need to. Meanwhile, many feedists are afraid to look because they feel guilty for "ruining" their bodies.
Both views aren't wise. You wouldn't build a house without checking the materials. You should do the same with the food you eat.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat fast food because its easy calories. I've been on their nutrition info pages, but basically to see the calories (and fats, carbs, protein). But I haven't done a deep dive to see what's actually in the food. ie salt/sodium content. Or in any food really. Every gain I've ever done has involved a lot of fast food. I know I should cut back. Especially if I'm looking for a prolonged, slower gain, but I like it too much. Which is probably why I get to a point that I'd rather not gain any more. I'm hoping to turn the page there. I just wanna be fat.
Munchies:
I'm not saying you can't be fat. I'm a feeder, after all. I'm just saying you gotta be smart about it. I have seen many a gainer and feedee have to stop gaining completely because their gaining methods screwed up their health. The same can be said about the slow and steady gainers.
I don't think you wanna go from a yo-yo dieter to someone who cannot gain under pain of death.
NoMoYoYo:
It's not all fast food or even junk food. I do eat fruits and vegetables. But I do hear what you're saying.
Are there any foods you like to feed your partner that great for gaining but are on the healthier side?
Bear in mind that we are on a gaining break, but I can give you some dishes.
- Puff pastry with salmon and spinach
- Peanuts
- Pizza with veggies
- Pasta with broccoli and cheese sauce
Huh. Everything the list starts with P. Wild.
1 year
New on feederism
Donut03:
I would like tips to insert feederism in my relationship, I identify as a feeder but I haven't spoken openly with my husband yet.
I would like tips to insert feederism in my relationship, I identify as a feeder but I haven't spoken openly with my husband yet.
I'd have a conversation with him first. Get on the same page about everything.
There's a user on the site, Lora Dayton, that made a good resource about having the conversation with your non-feedist partner.
loradayton.com/2022/01/26/how-to-have-the-kink-talk-with-your-partner/
1 year
"request to rate my ff profile"
RobbyP:
"Hey everybody, I'm mildly autistic and can potentially aciddentally be "on the nose" or too direct for people's comfort levels. In order to potentially improve this community, rraders of this post can teply with a -10/ to +10/10 ranking of my profile with a brief descriptor of the reason, such as "________ was horrible to read, it would mislead people into assuming _______ because ______." No guarantee I'll take down anything, just requesting other perceptions to consider."
"Hey everybody, I'm mildly autistic and can potentially aciddentally be "on the nose" or too direct for people's comfort levels. In order to potentially improve this community, rraders of this post can teply with a -10/ to +10/10 ranking of my profile with a brief descriptor of the reason, such as "________ was horrible to read, it would mislead people into assuming _______ because ______." No guarantee I'll take down anything, just requesting other perceptions to consider."
2/10
Kudos on actually filling things out on your profile. Too many people leave theirs completely blank.
That said, your profile is a chore to read. And this is coming from a person who understood every word you used. If you are looking for friends/playmates/love, this will scare people off. Why? Because you come off as pedantic and snobbish.
I don't judge you too much for this because this used to be me. (I'm also autistic.) That said, let me share something my grandfather told me once. "An educated person can use $50 million words. A smart person can explain complex topics to a 5-year-old with ease."
Nix the unnecessary quotations around everything. It makes things hard to read, and you have a lot of things to read.
And I truly hope you are not regularly consuming 6 cups of honey and 4 pounds of fruit. Eating junk food would be better than eating that much fruit and honey.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
Munchies:
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
Morbidly A Beast:
I mean strictly in the context of men viewing and engaging in content of this nature online compared to their female counterparts. Granted there is just less content of that nature online just in general.
And it’s understandable why women are less vocal in these spaces cuz creeps and weirdos.
Ah. That makes more sense. Yes, I will agree with you on that.
Besides, women generally gravitate to erotica over any other sexual outlet. And if you want decent erotica, most women will go to places like DA or AO3 before we go to FF. Why? Because the bulk of the stories on FF are centered on the male gaze. DA and AO3 have more variety - with 70 - 80% of the writers on AO3 being female.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
ForeverFFA:
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
ForeverFFA:
Straight women absolutely do discuss men's bodies--they just don't tend to do it directly in front of them in most contexts since they sense that would be kind of weird. My question isn't so much why don't FFAs exist (since I know from personal experience that they do) but rather why they seem to be forgotten even when they're speaking up or otherwise drawing attention to their existence.
I also don't want to leave lesbian/bi FFAs out of this discussion.
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
ForeverFFA:
Straight women absolutely do discuss men's bodies--they just don't tend to do it directly in front of them in most contexts since they sense that would be kind of weird. My question isn't so much why don't FFAs exist (since I know from personal experience that they do) but rather why they seem to be forgotten even when they're speaking up or otherwise drawing attention to their existence.
I also don't want to leave lesbian/bi FFAs out of this discussion.
So true, bestie. Our LGBTQIA+ sisters are out here fighting in the trenches every day. And you also can't forget trans women and femme-aligned NBs.
As for women not telling a man upfront if we think he's cute or not, I think it's more of a cultural thing.
I grew up in a military family, so I'm used to hanging around the military types. I am used to women being very upfront about if we find a man cute or not. I've seen women very brazenly tell a man they thinks he's sexy. I've seen women tell a man he looks ugly.
These days, I live in the South away from military spaces. People around here aren't so brazen - regardless of gender.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
ForeverFFA:
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
Does anyone else get at least mildly annoyed that people outside this community (in popular culture, opinion articles, and even some research papers) tend to implicitly and sometimes explicitly assume that FAs can only be male? And do people have any ideas about why that assumption is so strongly rooted?
RobbyP:
"I rarely hear women talk openly about body-types they're into. When bodyfat percentage and musclemass to height ratios are normalized, males tend to have a more similar shape to one another than females. With less variety, there'd be fewer opportunities for any body-based fetishes to have outlets for straight women who have them, i.e. a hypothetical one who's into hips wider than shoulders will probably never see a guy who has them, since such a guy probably doesn't exist. I imagine it'd also be more boring for straight female fas, since fat guys tend to look alot more similar in general shape.
If someone has never seen something they regularly imagine, they'll talk about it less often than something they have seen. If rarely, then still less often.
On top of all that, men's clothes generally only accentuate shoulders and arms. We have straighter curves on average."
What a weird way to say you don't talk people. Men have a lot of body diversity. And women are very vocal about our body preferences. And we will 100% tell men if we find them attractive or not and why.
1 year
Feeling a tad invisible
Morbidly A Beast:
Male sexuality drives markets, so imo its supply and demand that drives the discrepancy between female fa/feeder. There’s simply less women who like fat guys then there are men who are fa/feeders.
Where it doesn’t make sense is in our own spaces. Like it should be a given that there are feedees and feeders of all types.
Male sexuality drives markets, so imo its supply and demand that drives the discrepancy between female fa/feeder. There’s simply less women who like fat guys then there are men who are fa/feeders.
Where it doesn’t make sense is in our own spaces. Like it should be a given that there are feedees and feeders of all types.
Gonna push back on there being fewer women who like fat guys.
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
www.fatherly.com/health/romantic-advantages-for-fat-guys
And this is just the mainstream side of things.
As for the kinky side of things, your average female feeder/FA isn't going to be out in the open like I am. Either she'll lurk online or she'll take it irl. Of course, irl can be very tricky. Can't tell you how many times I've crossed paths with a fat cutie only to be friend-zoned because they refuse to believe a conventionally attractive woman would ever be interested in them.
It's rather sad.
I will agree that it is vital to the community to have more diversity. It's gotten better in some regards, but more work needs to be done.
1 year
Round face
NoMoYoYo:
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
Munchies:
The best thing anyone can do is know what they eat - fetish or not. If you are eating fast food, you can find the details on the website.
Many people don't look at the nutritional labels on food because they don't feel a need to. Meanwhile, many feedists are afraid to look because they feel guilty for "ruining" their bodies.
Both views aren't wise. You wouldn't build a house without checking the materials. You should do the same with the food you eat.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat fast food because its easy calories. I've been on their nutrition info pages, but basically to see the calories (and fats, carbs, protein). But I haven't done a deep dive to see what's actually in the food. ie salt/sodium content. Or in any food really. Every gain I've ever done has involved a lot of fast food. I know I should cut back. Especially if I'm looking for a prolonged, slower gain, but I like it too much. Which is probably why I get to a point that I'd rather not gain any more. I'm hoping to turn the page there. I just wanna be fat.
There's no doubt I eat salty foods. This weekend especially. Maybe that's all it is.
I should probably lay off salt a bit. I type as I'm sitting at Wendy's chowing down on just under 2000 calories. The Frosty I'm gonna grab on my way out will put me over 2000...and its not as salty lol
Munchies:
The best thing anyone can do is know what they eat - fetish or not. If you are eating fast food, you can find the details on the website.
Many people don't look at the nutritional labels on food because they don't feel a need to. Meanwhile, many feedists are afraid to look because they feel guilty for "ruining" their bodies.
Both views aren't wise. You wouldn't build a house without checking the materials. You should do the same with the food you eat.
NoMoYoYo:
I eat fast food because its easy calories. I've been on their nutrition info pages, but basically to see the calories (and fats, carbs, protein). But I haven't done a deep dive to see what's actually in the food. ie salt/sodium content. Or in any food really. Every gain I've ever done has involved a lot of fast food. I know I should cut back. Especially if I'm looking for a prolonged, slower gain, but I like it too much. Which is probably why I get to a point that I'd rather not gain any more. I'm hoping to turn the page there. I just wanna be fat.
I'm not saying you can't be fat. I'm a feeder, after all. I'm just saying you gotta be smart about it. I have seen many a gainer and feedee have to stop gaining completely because their gaining methods screwed up their health. The same can be said about the slow and steady gainers.
I don't think you wanna go from a yo-yo dieter to someone who cannot gain under pain of death.
1 year
