You do what you think is right for you.
There is nothing wrong with that at all.
At your age peer pressure can be a powerful thing.
Feeling the need to be a part of something and being accepted is as well.
I got to the point I didn't care about fitting in anywhere I was happy being me.

Never really counted calories.
People that do seem to always get discouraged because their weight doesn't increase as quick as they would like.
They think because they ate this many calories that they will gain X number of pounds.
Science may suggest that just by the numbers but that is not always the case.
Not all humans are the same.

Feel fat every day LOL.

I always hated running even when I was skinny.
If I ran now my flab would probably beat me to death.

Guys with a plump butt and a big belly always get my attention.

When I was 425 I tore the eyelets out of one of those canvas fold up chairs at an outdoor music festival.
It was a nice big heavy duty one too.LOL

Love yourself first.

The main thing you need to work on is your confidence.
Gaining weight is just asking for comments and you will get them for people that are closest to you.
Lots of things change so there is no way any of us know what will happen to you as far as relationships.
Hopefully you will find a girl that is into chubby /fat guys.
Keep in mind gaining weight can be a very slow process so most people will be slow to notice.

Did you have a bad experience on here or other fetish sites that made you feel that way?
Its not good to generalize any group of people that way.
I dated fat guys in high school and college.
When it came to sex they were awesome.
I married a guy that was chubby then he got into body building and his sex drive was non existent once he became a gym rat.
My BF is a 350 lb guy that takes care of me quite well.

I have had guys offer me money to take porno pics and I have declined every offer for the last 12 years because I am not that kind of woman.

Not something I would want to do if I was just starting out.
Like he said everyone is different.
Your metabolism is going to be shocked with the 2000 calorie uptick and will probably try to even things out.and that takes time.
Gaining weight is not a fast think it takes time.