That's a good question. I've been fat my whole life, and I remember wanting to be much fatter as young as about five or six. By the time I was in high school, I was 300 pounds, and I only had one boyfriend during those four years. I knew I didn't intend to lose weight, so I knew I'd need someone who liked big girls, and I knew those people existed. I dated a bit more in college, and by then, I was in this community, but I didn't know how to transition from online fantasy to real-life feedism. After college, I had two feeders I met via the websites, but both of those relationships tended to be more about the feedism than a deep personal connection. In other words, they were fine for some fun, but there was never a basis for a lasting relationship. With my partner, the relationship comes first, and fat is something we both think is fun and sexy. I have much more experience in feedism than he does, but he was more than willing to lean into it. At the end of the day though, the feedism comes second.

Realizing how much food it actually takes to fill you up!

For example, yesterday, while we were out and about, we got fast food. I'm right at my weight cap, so I've gut back considerably. I ordered three cheeseburgers with mushrooms and swiss, a large fry, and a large Diet Coke, while my partner got a grilled chicken sandwich and water. Compared to the way I've been eating for the past two years, my order was a small one, although I do know that for the average person, it's still a massive amount, and I'll probably have to cut back more to get to maintenance. Nevertheless, when I finished everything, I barely felt like I had eaten. Within an hour, I felt hunger pangs in my belly. If that's not a reminder what a greedy fatty I've become, I don't know what it is. 🤣

In college, I had a Lit professor who had quite the pot belly, and every single one of his shirts was straining, as though he was unaware of a recent gain, or simply refused to accept it. On occasion, a button in the belly area was undone, and you could see about an inch of his white undershirt. I'm not sure if I'd say I was sexually aroused, but I certainly found it attractive

Later in college, I saw the professor, his very fit wife, and baby out in town, and he was lean and toned, with no sign of what was once a very pregnant looking visceral gut. Oh, well, lol!

In the past 50 to 75 pounds of gain, walking around has become much more strenuous, and consequently, I'm moving less and gaining faster. That's not a huge obstacle in 2023, both because I have a partner and because you can have nearly everything you need delivered. That said, I do enjoy grocery shopping, and I generally use an in-store scooter, since we don't yet have the ability to put my new one in the car. (We're upgrading to a van soon, and we plan to add a hitch.) However, yesterday, the first scooter I got on stalled after traveling about 30 feet. We assumed it might be a mechanical issue, but when we traded places, it worked for my partner with no issues. Nevertheless, he took it back and brought a new one, which did exactly the same thing. We had to settle for letting me lean on a shopping cart, with him doing most of the running up and down aisles. While this definitely presents an inconvenience, it's also nice to hit a milestone of being fatter than most fat people who use the scooters!

Stuffing, squash casserole, brussel sprouts, and mashed potatoes! Basically, a carb fest with a couple of green things.

If someone becomes very physically ill and incapable of any kind of activity or exercise, there's probably a point of no return. Outside of that, change is always possible. A few years ago, I was around 370 lb. Even though i had always been fat (I hit 300 lb by the time I was in high school), I was still able to get down to 190 lb. and could have gone lower if I wanted to. I made different food choices, ate modest amounts, and walked everyday. I didn't enjoy being smaller, it turned out, and I regained intentionally. The fact remains however, if I could change course after a lifetime of obesity, It's possible. I'm now 120 lb heavier than my previous highest weight, And I very much enjoy my size and like my body as is. However, as a super obese person, I realistically understand there will likely come a time when I absolutely have to make changes for health reasons.

This morning, I weighed 492.8 before eating anything. I wasn't planning to exceed 500 lb, but I feel like it may be inevitable without any effort.

As someone who has been big forever, I always know when a shirt has ridden up. At home, unless I have to be on camera for work on Zoom, I usually wear clothing that lets my belly show by design. . or if I'm relaxing, I'll pull my shirt up a little so nothing is constructing me. Consequently, more than a few delivery people have seen my gut. 🤣

It was weird... By the time I realized it, My fingers were a good three or four inches from being able to reach it. I was quite surprised!

Stretching your belly out, thinking you'll be able to cut back anytime you want to, only to realize you're now eating thousands of calories daily just to feel minimally satisfied.