Dating women without physical attraction?

Malvineous:
Ok, here are two articles that each cite multiple studies on what women find attractive in men.
businessinsider.com/science-backed-qualities-in-men-women-like-2016-6
confidencetoachieve.com.au/what-women-want-in-a-man-according-to-science/

I haven't been explaining to women how women work. I've been giving my thoughts on gendered differences in socialization/psychology, for both men and women who are reading the thread. It's not a private conversation. I know that women fully understand how they work. However, I don't think either gender fully understands how the other works, because each person is limited to their own perspective. Having conversations like this could be a way to reach some kind of understanding about each other.

I didn't expect everyone to agree with me, but I hoped to discuss the ideas on their own merits instead of simply getting told my language is wrong. I asked in good faith how to express the SAME ideas about patterns better, instead I'm basically told not to express them in the first place. Those are the connotations of what you're telling me. Again, I'm not attached to being right about this, but I do care about being able to speak on the topic. It's true that it may not be as widespread as I think, but that's an opportunity to give me some examples that you think are more widespread, and we can discuss.

The example you gave me of 'most men beat their wives' would only bother me because it's untrue. However, if you were to phrase it the other way around, and say that 'most partner abuse is committed by men', then that wouldn't bother me because it is true. My ego isn't wrapped up in such things. (Unless it were used as justification to reach some wild conclusion like 'that's why you should never trust your boyfriend' ). Also, how is saying 'most women are attracted to multiple things in a partner beyond the physical' as bad as saying 'most men beat their wives'? If we look at the connotations, then what I said would paint women in a more flattering light than men, because it would imply they're less "shallow".


Not even what was said. I said to use the word some instead of "most" or "typically" when talking about characteristics that are not indicative of the group. And no one said you couldn't express yourself. You were told the way you were doing it was hurtful and not expressing yourself as clearly as you'd like.


This is not the same thing.
2 years

How out of shape i am

Fiftyseven:
If your wife is open to it need to show us pictures man, you keep telling us about it but at least post a drawing to give us a reference.


Checked out his stuff. He says she doesn't want pictures of herself posted, but I did find two of her that are supposedly somewhat recent with the past few years.

fantasyfeeder.com/pics/photo

fantasyfeeder.com/pics/photo

If this woman is his wife, she doesn't look all that large. Fat, yes. But not to the degree he paints her.
2 years

Dating women without physical attraction?

Munchies:
Here we have OP compare his plight to that of gay people and continue to ignore multiple women calling him out of his misogyny. He demands explanations that have already been given or rejects them outright because he doesn't like them and accuses people of ad hominem attacks were there were none.

You hate to see it.

X_Larsson:
You have not mentioned ONE factual quote where I slander, denigrate, hate, ridicule, diminish etc. Do that, please show where I have done so.

I don't CARE at all if you or anyone on the forum likes me or not, but I have not expressed any of the above things about anyone. I do care about truth, though.
Your feelings are not evidence.

If my posts are full of discrimination and lies, it would be super easy for you to find examples. Noone of you have presented such quotes yet.


*Sips tea*

We did. More than once. Scroll back through the posts. We even quote responded to you so you know we aren't making things up.
2 years

Dating women without physical attraction?

Munchies
When you want to describe a group of people without painting broad strokes over the entire group, use the word SOME. Some means "a portion of a group that isn't indicative of the whole."

Malvineous:
I'm not sure that "some" communicates what I want it to, because it's just an indeterminate number. For example, some people shower daily. Some people have walked on the moon. There's no indication of frequency or proportion. Is there no room to discuss major trends in human behavior?


Yes. It's called whipping out the graphs and charts.

You made a lot of claims about women. While I will not deny these claims are true for some women, are you sure they are as widespread as you assume them to be?

Keep in mind you have been explaining to women how women work. Are you really sure you want to hang your hat on that? Really and truly? This is after making statements about how women do not understand how men work.

The word "some" is your best and safest word choice. Words have denotations and connotations. You seem to understand the denotations (dictionary definitions) but struggle to understand the connotations (implied meaning).

Think again about the example I gave you. Think about how different the connotations of those words were and how they changed the sentence's meaning.

The same applies here.
2 years

Dating women without physical attraction?

Here we have OP compare his plight to that of gay people and continue to ignore multiple women calling him out of his misogyny. He demands explanations that have already been given or rejects them outright because he doesn't like them and accuses people of ad hominem attacks were there were none.

You hate to see it.
2 years

Dating women without physical attraction?

The reason I said you are treating women like a monolith is precisely because you use words like "mostly" and "typically." Both words mean "This is how things are except for a few exceptions." That's creating a monolith.
The truth is that there's a lot of diversity in how women approach things. This includes sexuality.

Malvineous:
My understanding was that seeing people as a monolith meant that you viewed them all the same way, or the exceptions are so rare that they're negligible. I don't see it that way. A majority might be only 50.1%. Even something like 20% might be the main trend if everything else is smaller. Let's say we were able to run a survey and poll every single woman in the western world about what they find attractive. Do you think you'd get a billion answers that were all completely different, like only one woman in the world likes tall men? Or would there be some overlap between answers? If we tallied up the common answers, we could turn that data into a pie chart. Do you think the slices would be completely equal in size, like the same exact number of women like tall men as ones who prefer short men? Or would the slices all be different sizes?

When we talk in generalities, we're really just guessing about which pie slice is the largest. This is something most people do to some degree in different ways. It's a way to try to understand the world and how to move within it. Yes, this can veer into being toxic with some people who take it too far, but that's not always the case. Streaming networks use generalizations to predict which shows will be popular. As you're growing up, you pay attention to how people react to you and adjust. "People don't like it when I do X, so I should avoid doing X from now on", even though that generalization isn't absolute, and there are many people who do like it. Pattern recognition is extremely common, but most people don't even realize when they're doing it.


You're like ... so close to getting it.

Let me help you out.

When you want to describe a group of people without painting broad strokes over the entire group, use the word SOME. Some means "a portion of a group that isn't indicative of the whole."

For example

If I said "Some men beat up their wives," I don't think anyone would disagree with me.

However, if I said "Men typically beat up their wives," or "Men mostly beat up their wives," I'll get pushback. Why? Because the first example describes a group of men that are not representative of the average man. Meanwhile, the last two examples paint he average man as a violent abuser (which is not true).

So please be more mindful of your word choices.
2 years

Website errror

SSBBW Summer:
Seems to be a error on the homepage. But can access everything else.


I noticed that too. I made a post about it with shots in another thread.
2 years