This is me exactly. I was a gymrat; I still love weightlifting but I've gotten lazy. I was a runner long ago. I finished the 1998 Marine Corps Marathon. I was a mountain biker. I still like to walk and should get back to it if for no reason other than health. I was never without more than a little pudge, but I was in shape, and looked it.

Then things changed. Non-gym related injuries and surgeries sidelined all that. I began to get frustrated that I was never going to have the superhero body Of Chris Hemsworth, Hugh Jackman or others. That would be ok except that I got sick 'n tired of dieting: logging food, calculating macros and calories. Absent that I can easily get fat.

I fattened up to 230 (I'm 5' 5", then I went on Weight Watchers, went down to 190, and looked like hell. I started gaining again because I slacked off the gym.

About 2 years ago I started playing with the idea of getting fatter. Fat guys always turned me on and still do. On one hand I wanted to be like them, on the other hand letting myself go deliberately was terra incognita. I wavered, wondering how gaining weight was going to be received by people. So far my fears have been unfounded. A lot of people I work with have gained weight over the years. A few family members have made comments over the years about my weight fluctuations, so this will be no different.

I'm stalled at about 217, fluctuating up and down a few pounds. I'd love to get to about 265, and get my belly up to 52-54". For as (personally) fatphobic as I used to be I really like gaining and getting fatter.

It started about 5 years ago when I needed a major repair of my rotator cuff. I couldn't workout the way I wanted to, so I slacked off. It continued as my lumbar situation got worse, culminating in a fusion in 2015. I've gone to the gym only a few times since. I do want to get my motivation back, not to lose weight, but to gain back muscle. I want to be a fat muscle guy... or a muscled fat guy.

I can't tell how fat my face has gotten because I have a long thick beard. I can say there is no way I can button shirt collars, and I pretty much have to have the second button undone.

Definitely my belly. I don't suck it in anymore (what's the point, and who's kidding who? Lol). I'm proud of it and like the idea it's so visible, no way to hide it.

That number is pretty interesting. Before I did WW I was 230. At the start of WW I already lost 10 lbs. In about 5 mos. of WW I lost another 30+ lbs, down to about 188. I was also doing high intensity stuff like TRX, Bootcamp and Bodypump. I looked like death itself because I lost so much muscle. Now I'm sitting at 220. I've seen this with my losses and gains a few times.

I think my plan will be to get back in shape, gain muscle and stamina back, strengthen my core and see how I feel. Maybe it will help the pain, I hope it does. I like eating and I like being fat, more than I ever thought I would. I don't have to become immobile, but I like my size.

I had the same thought: I lose weight - which is not easy for me and why I gave in to being fat - and there's no change in my pain.

I did ask my orthopedic surgeon if he thought my belly was a problem, he said no. So who knows.

It may very well come to droppng some weight... enough for it to make a difference in how I feel, and for him to notice and approve. I'll always be chunky but I may not be able to carry as much weight as I think is attractive. A compromise.

I know... I hate making decisions. Especially when I've finally gotten to like myself being fat.

But this is a serious one. I keep thinking that if I just get back to strengthening my core that will be enough. But there's no hiding a 50" belly.

I have to say 5 pretty much across the board. The possible exception is a goal of maybe 5 1/2.

My size:
Height 5' 5"
Weight 220ish, goal 250-260.
Belly circumference 49-50", goal 52-54".
Pants 42, goal 44-46.

I would love to see my belly ripple when I walk, and hang over my belt.

Again yesterday my pain management doctor, treating me for pain from my lumbar fusion, pointed to my belly and said "that's not helping". He said that unless I do my part, meaning diet and exercise, he's not sure what more he can do to help, after this next procedure (RFA, zapping the nerves to lessen the pain signals). I guess I got my marching orders... literally... he wants me to start walking again and get back to weight training. I'm all for getting back into shape but little does he know that not only do I not want to lose weight, I want to get fatter.