Here we have OP compare his plight to that of gay people and continue to ignore multiple women calling him out of his misogyny. He demands explanations that have already been given or rejects them outright because he doesn't like them and accuses people of ad hominem attacks were there were none.

You hate to see it.

You're like ... so close to getting it.

Let me help you out.

When you want to describe a group of people without painting broad strokes over the entire group, use the word SOME. Some means "a portion of a group that isn't indicative of the whole."

For example

If I said "Some men beat up their wives," I don't think anyone would disagree with me.

However, if I said "Men typically beat up their wives," or "Men mostly beat up their wives," I'll get pushback. Why? Because the first example describes a group of men that are not representative of the average man. Meanwhile, the last two examples paint he average man as a violent abuser (which is not true).

So please be more mindful of your word choices.

I noticed that too. I made a post about it with shots in another thread.

A lot of people turn to padding or leave it in fantasy.

That said, you may want to see someone about your relationship with food.

Continuing my post because I ran out of room.

The reason I said you are treating women like a monolith is precisely because you use words like "mostly" and "typically." Both words mean "This is how things are except for a few exceptions." That's creating a monolith.

The truth is that there's a lot of diversity in how women approach things. This includes sexuality.

I don't treat groups like a monolith. I understand that a group like women is hugely varied in every regard. That's why I'm always careful to use words like "many", "tend to", etc. I personally think it's ok to notice patterns of behavior in groups of people, just as long as you understand that there will always be a lot of exceptions. It also doesn't address the cause, because social conditioning could play a part. Societal gender roles are one example of a pattern of behavior that is different between men and women, but those roles are expressed differently between individuals, and some reject it completely. Those people are the exceptions, they are in the minority, so they get left out of such discussions, mostly for the sake of brevity. Including such disclaimers every time can really bog down a conversation. I just assume that most people are mentally mature enough to understand this basic fact about human nature.



What I was originally saying was that men and women, on average, have different factors that they find sexually attractive in a partner (not valuable, just sexy). For men, a huge part of that is physical. For women, different factors are more attractive. Because of that, a direct 1 v 1 comparison is impossible, because if someone's partner lost the factors that men like, women would still be attracted to something else about them. What I was attempting to do is provide a functional equivalent, where her partner lost most of the factors that women are attracted to. Keep in mind the inverse is also true. In the depression scenario, if the genders were reversed, most men would also be frustrated and might not tolerate it either, but they would still find her sexy as long as her appearance didn't change too much.



You didn't provide a functional equivalent. I don't think you realize that who a woman is attracted to and who she'll form a relationship with is a Venn Diagram. There are also plenty of men out there who will still find their SO's attractive as their bodies change. It's super common in long-term relationships.

The issue people are having with OP has been explicitly stated several times by several people - myself included. But since you missed it, I will repeat it. OP has explicitly said that if a woman isn't a feedee, he can't feel sexual attraction towards them. However, he's met a number of women that he feels are perfectly lovely in every other aspect. So he wants to settle and have a relationship with a woman he cannot feel sexual attraction towards.

Basically, said woman could not be sexually fulfilled while they are together. And OP isn't interested in sharing either, so it extra sucks for said woman. Doesn't help that what he said comes off as fetishizing and objectifying women.

So this happened:

Yeah, there's a lot of that. And while I do understand not everyone does well in therapy, therapy isn't the only way to improve yourself. Self-reflection, introspection, and metacognition all go a long way.

I find OP's claim that there are no happy fat women in Sweden to be incredulous.

As of 2021, there are approx 10.42 million people living in Sweden.

As of 2020, about 40% of all women aged 30 - 44 are overweight with 15% of them being obese. data.worldobesity.org/country/sweden-207/#data_population-breakdowns

As of 2023, Sweden ranks as the 6th happiest country in the world. cnn.com/travel/article/world-happiest-countries-2023-wellness/index.html

Do you mean to tell me in a country that happy and with a population that big, you cannot find a single happy fat woman?

Ok

That's just called valuing yourself in a relationship. Doesn't matter the gender involved.

Sometimes, in a heterosexual relationship, the woman can become the sole breadwinner if a man loses his job. And if the man picks up the slack in other areas so she can be the breadwinner, that's fine. Stay-at-home husbands are a thing. Of course, it depends on the financial stability of that household because you might need two people to work to keep afloat. You can't mooch off of people no matter your gender

As for not showering, grooming or addressing his mental health? That's a red flag, not a case of needing to look past the surface. A man who doesn't value himself will be unable to value others. There should be grace given if the guy is going through something. However, that grace goes away if he's not trying to improve. Of course, this can be said about all genders.

The only thing you can make a case for is the weight gain and the weird beard. And even then, it depends on the woman in question.