On my phone so I'll try to keep this short (just as well or I'd probably write an essay). ETA: ended up being a bit of an essay anyway.

I'm something like a mutual gainer, she is something like a foodie and from a fat family. When we met I was officially overweight(170 lbs @ 5'8" bmi just under 26) while she wasn't quite (145 lbs @ 5'6", bmi about 23). I let her know fairly early on that thin did nothing for me and I didn't see fat as a bad thing ... But I made that mostly about her, as I'd been suppressing my own fat desires.

Over our first six years together I put on Forty and she put on 90, before we kind of got ourselves figured out on the sexuality, appetite, lifestyle, practicality thing. She dropped 20 lbs, then we both staid in a fairly narrow weight band for years.

More recently as age has impacted libido I've found myself more concerned with appealing to myself and less with appealing to her, and have let myself gain another 20, finally taking me up to a size I consider fat (just under 230, bmi 34-35, fat enough to feel jiggly and be at the limit of XL clothes).

Wife is not a real fan, although she doesn't really say anything, and even when I was 25 lbs lighter several years back she really had no sexual desire (for me? In general? Don't know), so for the most part it is working out OK, as at least I'm enjoying my body.

And oddly enough, this last year she surpassed her previous high, hitting 240. So I'm enjoying all the fats lately.... Other than sexually. But those are the chances you take in marriage I suppose( and as others have said, love is about so much more than sex, and we have plenty of love).

I don't agree with that final conclusion. Yes, be careful, be respectful -- but human connection is also important. So mail at the men too and bid a friendly good evening to the elderly
.... And smile and meet the eye of some one attractive occasionally


Maybe I'm biased -- since my parents met on a train, I like to feel that such meetings can have some merit!

With the right exercise she can build up more muscle in those areas, making them a little bigger ... But as said, fat will go where it wants, we don't control it.

If you see her again, I'd suggest smile and ask if the nearby seat is taken. You can just comment at first that it is so nice to see someone smile when most people are carefully not interacting. Have a quip or two ready about the British character, and see how she reacts and go from there.

But I agree that it is really hard when it is the first time you have even seen the person.

Maybe try coconut milk? High fat, doesn't bug most people

I heard a bit of a follow up on the lavender oil thing,some time back. The one known case where it was significant, a mother was rubbing lavender oil into her son's skin every day, over large areas (I forget,maybe he had a skin condition?). Anyway, really big quantities and prepubescent so low hormone levels, and he had some breast development.

I think the others are similar. Yes they mimic female hormones, but unless exposed to extreme quantities and having low hormones, notapt to have a significant impact.

But if you have fun trying anyway, why not?

I try to try to control myself, but my desire for MORE breaks through very regularly. Married to a non FA, so try to restrain my inner fat boy.

Try avoiding certain foods for a week at a time and see if there is a difference. Dairy, soda, cabbage family, pulses, gluten ... Any could be culprits ( or others)

I always figured that if something happened and I found myself single again, I'd no matter what want to gain at least fifty pounds, see how I felt, then hopefully gain another fifty. Preferably with the support of an ffa, but I'd do it even without.

But, with an encourager, I suspect that my willpower to pause at fifty would not last long. The first fifty would come on so fast that I'd in no way be ready to stop indulging, so after a mere week or two of denial I'd declare all was good and start indulging again. With the affirmation that the first fifty had been fine, and with a whole new fifty to go, then I'd probably indulge in some pretty aggressive gaining behavior that I've always wanted to try (shakes, heavy cream in everything, building a 24/7 schedule to never really have my stomach empty.

With that,and how easily I gain, that second fifty might happen in a few months, so after a hundred I'd just be hitting my stride. I'd know I should stop, but the habits I'd built up would carry me on to a lot more weigth. That fat, and with a natural tendency to be lazy, I'd be hitting the point where a lot of activities would be getting uncomfortable if not painful .... Except of course for eating.

At that point I think I'd admit that some part of me has always wanted to see how fat I could get while retaining some mobility. Of course, over the coming years my idea of some mobility might go from walking couple of blocks to walking to the car to walking that far with a cane to being able to waddle to my mobility scooter ....

I think also that the more you do something like this, the more the fear of the unknown falls away. So the same desire for it and reward for it may influence you more strongly, as the counter gets weaker.