Just_Jess_81:
Some constructive advice for male feedees, for everyone really, when it comes to meeting people online ...
If you are looking for something very specific ... i.e. a relationship, role play, a regular feeder, or just one-time feedings ... then you need to put that very clearly on your profile. Put both what you are looking for and what you aren't. If it is in person or online only ... say so.
Beyond that, use the shouts and the personal ads section of the forum to let people know you are looking ... and again, be very clear about what you are looking for and what you are not.
People aren't just going to fall into your lap and they aren't mind readers, you need to put yourself out there and in a way that attracts what you are looking for otherwise you will get overlooked. P.S. I'm saying this as a female feeder, so ... lol
Put the effort in, show potential feeders or whoever that you are serious and looking for something real, then be patient.
In the meantime, use the search option under profiles, check the user tab in chat, or look at the personal ads for the role you want, then browse the profiles that interest you and reach out to those who have taken the time to do all of the above things on their profile
Doing all of these things will help you connect with people that are interested in you for the right reasons and keep both you and the people that reach out to you from wasting time. It's not going to be a 100% of the time thing, but it's better than 0%, right?
I concur with this and also one can develop intermediate level social skills on how to continue conversations online. But the biggest mindset that most feedees like myself have to grasp is what if we don't find that female feeder like we dream and how do I want my life to be ? Feederism in our thing society today to most is a fringe lifestyle in which most people don't know exist or will lose social credit if they live this lifestyle. We have to get used to being our own feeder and being our own actualization and embodiment of fat.
5 years
Here is the real reason that he does it. It is easier to masturbate than to wait for you to get into the mood and how our brain is hardwired we have a tendency to do things habitually. My friend had issues just like your guy does but the reason for his excessive porn use was the need for any companionship superceded his need to find someone he was really attracted to. His therapist said that this type of "settling" for what you can get instead of what you want because you don't know if you can keep or attract your type so you waste people's time like this. Either way, you might have to choose someone else.
5 years
I personally have always been attracted to bigger women and I could care less about it because I was happy to be dating my type and yeah I saw other males feel shame for it but I told them when you go after what you are attracted to that even if you get rejected by her; at least you tried to talk to her and to me that is a win win. But after so many dry spells, I became fatter over time and I started to notice that I had so many fit females come up to me secretly because they were ashamed of their likes due to we residing in one of the top fittest areas in the nation. The fatter I became, the bigger women were not only self conscious of themselves but embarrassed of their attraction to obese males. On both sides, it is an overt need to belong and any other likes other than the "norm" is seen as some abnormality when it is nothing of the sort.
5 years
c00kie:
Do people still get hit on in public? I thought everyone only dated online these days haha...
Seriously though to the OP... I have experienced the same thing, or had a lack of experience of this. Usually the only time it happens is when people are doing the 'pull a pig' joke or it's back handed flirtation, 'you're pretty for a big girl', which puts me off instantly.
I always felt that it was a shame thing on part of the FA. Although they like you and like big guys and gals... They don't want friends or family to know. It's easy for them to hide their preference if they are not already big themselves... and like some of the other posters have put... They can continue fitting into the norm and not be ridiculed, unlike fat people who have to deal with it on a daily basis.
I promised myself a long time ago and I think you should do something similar... I won't date anyone who is ashamed of me. Regardless of size or any other feature about myself physical or otherwise. Do not date closet FA's... It does not make for a good relationship. You wont feel fulfilled, you wont feel good enough, and it will take a toll on your self worth.
I know that seems a little negative but that's the way the c00kie crumbles!
NogutNoglory:
I think that is a great standard to have! You should never date anyone who is ashamed of you!
My answer to this question in short is most guys don’t have balls, period. It’s pathetic. Who are they hanging out with that is so judgmental? Like maybe get some new friends?
It is not even the friends; it depends on which stage of development he is in and we males are taught there are certain things one should have in place and if one doesn't then we are taught that something is wrong with us. It is like this concept that I learned about as an undergraduate called the Casanova Complex in which society expects that guy to get as much sex as he possibly can and if he doesn't then something is wrong with him but those are the tropes we males are taught. Most just go along with it.
5 years
We get you bro; it is all good.
5 years
Agreed. Once you get used to this it becomes quite enjoyable. It helped my learn how to plan better because some things become difficult like long flights of steps. My brother stays in an apartment so I had to at least have enough endurance just to waddle up four flights of steps.
5 years
Ditzy:
The ones here that have a fat fantasy or fetish don't really consider the not so good parts of being large.
WideJuan76:
Yeah, they love the fantasy of it all but not the practical application of it. Like I have to do countdowns and rock back and forth now just to get up
MustBecomegluttonous:
I don't know I'm kinda looking forward to struggling to get up. And barley being able to walk
We are not saying that there aren't any perks to our obesity but folks don't realize that you can't just wish the fat away; it does come with some slight nuisances.
5 years
Ditzy:
The ones here that have a fat fantasy or fetish don't really consider the not so good parts of being large.
Yeah, they love the fantasy of it all but not the practical application of it. Like I have to do countdowns and rock back and forth now just to get up
5 years
Ditzy:
Juan when I was 420 ish I wore what was basically panty hose for the torso.
If I didn't wear it sometimes my belly would get irritated by the seam of the top I was wearing.
Skin rubbing back and forth on fabric can get painful.
Ditzy, I empathize with you completely. When I was around two hundred, wearing a belt was nothing but as I got fat I used to get irritation because I had more stomach outside of my pants. But then as I got obese, I got the same thing that you got and it used to get on my nerves but such is life when we are obese
5 years
slopfatjim:
A belly that hangs, hangs well low minimum knees, the thought of having it slopping and swaying about, the weight pulling on my skin, being unable to cover it all up, being such a fat pig the fat hangs from me, its also the permanance of it, no diet would shift it only surgery - but it would be so risky id have to carry it for life
This is part of the reason that I decided to be four hundred pounds again because when I initially lost the weight it took years but I lost the elasticity in my skin even though I lifted weights so I looked like a deflated balloon so I decided to get back to where I was. I never thought that I would miss my gut hitting my thighs as I walked and having a lap was non-existent
5 years
