Need advice on a guy
Startnew:
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Munchies:
Wow. The copium is strong. You took an internet stranger's earnest plea to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you lash out and insult them. It's sad. She was being so nice and polite to you too.
You are a messy, messy person. You and the married dude deserve each other.
Startnew:
Girls, you make me laugh. Coupling to bully a girl for the sake of women's rights on a website like this, calling her a mess and the like. You are funnier than SNL. You are right, I get what I deserve: a beautiful guy whom I am getting naughty with. Wonder why that makes YOU feel uncomfortable
Munchies:
I'm just calling a spade a spade.
I am very curious as to why you don't want to leave Mr. Married and find someone else who's single. You never did explain that. The only reason that makes sense is that you are too scared to try and you've caught some kind of feelings for him.
Does his wife know about you? Have you two talked to each other?
Startnew:
The only reason, which btw doesnt concern you, is that it's harmless FUN. Why so curious anyway? Dont tell me you are developing a crash on me, babe
Munchies:
Why would I have a crush on you? I'm not gay, you're not much younger than my mother, and you clearly make bad life choices.
And judging by the fact that you are avoiding the question, she doesn't know about you.
You are the other woman. You are in an affair. This automatically makes it harmful because, at the very least, you are hurting his wife. And assuming you two are about the same age, there may be kids involved as well.
Is this really what you want?
Startnew:
Poor you. You think that age-shaming people will help you win an argument when, in fact, you are just jealous of all the attention another woman is getting. You dont even know the difference between real, Frantic phisical passion, the one that makes you feel like a happy heartquake and a few flirty messages here and there, which makes me think you are actually still a virgin. Which would be ok, except it's not your choice.
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Munchies:
Wow. The copium is strong. You took an internet stranger's earnest plea to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you lash out and insult them. It's sad. She was being so nice and polite to you too.
You are a messy, messy person. You and the married dude deserve each other.
Startnew:
Girls, you make me laugh. Coupling to bully a girl for the sake of women's rights on a website like this, calling her a mess and the like. You are funnier than SNL. You are right, I get what I deserve: a beautiful guy whom I am getting naughty with. Wonder why that makes YOU feel uncomfortable
Munchies:
I'm just calling a spade a spade.
I am very curious as to why you don't want to leave Mr. Married and find someone else who's single. You never did explain that. The only reason that makes sense is that you are too scared to try and you've caught some kind of feelings for him.
Does his wife know about you? Have you two talked to each other?
Startnew:
The only reason, which btw doesnt concern you, is that it's harmless FUN. Why so curious anyway? Dont tell me you are developing a crash on me, babe
Munchies:
Why would I have a crush on you? I'm not gay, you're not much younger than my mother, and you clearly make bad life choices.
And judging by the fact that you are avoiding the question, she doesn't know about you.
You are the other woman. You are in an affair. This automatically makes it harmful because, at the very least, you are hurting his wife. And assuming you two are about the same age, there may be kids involved as well.
Is this really what you want?
Startnew:
Poor you. You think that age-shaming people will help you win an argument when, in fact, you are just jealous of all the attention another woman is getting. You dont even know the difference between real, Frantic phisical passion, the one that makes you feel like a happy heartquake and a few flirty messages here and there, which makes me think you are actually still a virgin. Which would be ok, except it's not your choice.
I am very confused. It almost sounds like you want a 27 year old to be sexually attracted to you.
You shame me for my singleness and virginity (not that there's any shame in that) but forgot about an earlier post I made in this thread where I clearly indicate that I have someone.
Most of all, you are still avoiding the meat of my statement. You are an in an affair. Your actions have consequences. You and your lover are actively hurting at least one person. Maybe more, if he has kids. And if he says he doesn't, can you really trust him on that?
If he'll lie to her, he'll lie to you.
But clearly, you get off on being disrespected and treated like trash. So more power to you, I guess.
2 years
Need advice on a guy
LoraDayton:
I'm going to be blunt: you are putting words into mouths that no one is saying and openly stating you solely want male attention, then coming here asking why a man is giving you half-assed attention. No one is "over reacting" eg there is no outward pouring of emotion here. You are placing your need for validation onto the shoulders of men who will not even validate themselves. This is bad for you, objectively.
I never said anything about anyone *having* to be in a relationsihp; I literally validated the fact that you don't have to be. But respect is STILL the foundation of *any* interaction with someone regardless of its depth and you WILL get hurt if you do not accept that standard for yourself.
You are hurting yourself now by refusing to listen to what people are telling you. You are still shouldering the responsibility for this married dude who is fatphobic and reading into actions and between lines for him and excusing his behavior. You are doing his emotional labor for him because that distracts you from doing yours for yourself. You asked for advice and you got it, but it's not hte advice you want. Because it's not advice you want, it's validation. They aren't the same thing.
Just because his behavior may have reasons, valid or not, doesn't excuse his actions and how they can and do harm you. It doesn't give him permission to treat you that way and yet that's exactly what you're doing.
That's your choice. I am just pointing out that it WILL harm you.
Startnew:
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Munchies:
Wow. The copium is strong. You took an internet stranger's earnest plea to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you lash out and insult them. It's sad. She was being so nice and polite to you too.
You are a messy, messy person. You and the married dude deserve each other.
Startnew:
Girls, you make me laugh. Coupling to bully a girl for the sake of women's rights on a website like this, calling her a mess and the like. You are funnier than SNL. You are right, I get what I deserve: a beautiful guy whom I am getting naughty with. Wonder why that makes YOU feel uncomfortable
Munchies:
I'm just calling a spade a spade.
I am very curious as to why you don't want to leave Mr. Married and find someone else who's single. You never did explain that. The only reason that makes sense is that you are too scared to try and you've caught some kind of feelings for him.
Does his wife know about you? Have you two talked to each other?
Startnew:
The only reason, which btw doesnt concern you, is that it's harmless FUN. Why so curious anyway? Dont tell me you are developing a crash on me, babe
I'm going to be blunt: you are putting words into mouths that no one is saying and openly stating you solely want male attention, then coming here asking why a man is giving you half-assed attention. No one is "over reacting" eg there is no outward pouring of emotion here. You are placing your need for validation onto the shoulders of men who will not even validate themselves. This is bad for you, objectively.
I never said anything about anyone *having* to be in a relationsihp; I literally validated the fact that you don't have to be. But respect is STILL the foundation of *any* interaction with someone regardless of its depth and you WILL get hurt if you do not accept that standard for yourself.
You are hurting yourself now by refusing to listen to what people are telling you. You are still shouldering the responsibility for this married dude who is fatphobic and reading into actions and between lines for him and excusing his behavior. You are doing his emotional labor for him because that distracts you from doing yours for yourself. You asked for advice and you got it, but it's not hte advice you want. Because it's not advice you want, it's validation. They aren't the same thing.
Just because his behavior may have reasons, valid or not, doesn't excuse his actions and how they can and do harm you. It doesn't give him permission to treat you that way and yet that's exactly what you're doing.
That's your choice. I am just pointing out that it WILL harm you.
Startnew:
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Munchies:
Wow. The copium is strong. You took an internet stranger's earnest plea to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you lash out and insult them. It's sad. She was being so nice and polite to you too.
You are a messy, messy person. You and the married dude deserve each other.
Startnew:
Girls, you make me laugh. Coupling to bully a girl for the sake of women's rights on a website like this, calling her a mess and the like. You are funnier than SNL. You are right, I get what I deserve: a beautiful guy whom I am getting naughty with. Wonder why that makes YOU feel uncomfortable
Munchies:
I'm just calling a spade a spade.
I am very curious as to why you don't want to leave Mr. Married and find someone else who's single. You never did explain that. The only reason that makes sense is that you are too scared to try and you've caught some kind of feelings for him.
Does his wife know about you? Have you two talked to each other?
Startnew:
The only reason, which btw doesnt concern you, is that it's harmless FUN. Why so curious anyway? Dont tell me you are developing a crash on me, babe
Why would I have a crush on you? I'm not gay, you're not much younger than my mother, and you clearly make bad life choices.
And judging by the fact that you are avoiding the question, she doesn't know about you.
You are the other woman. You are in an affair. This automatically makes it harmful because, at the very least, you are hurting his wife. And assuming you two are about the same age, there may be kids involved as well.
Is this really what you want?
2 years
Shorts
MickRidem:
It seems I just can't walk with my legs apart enough to not have the shorts bunch up between my newly fat thighs. I was pushing/pulling the sled at the gym, and up they went. My boxer briefs stay down so that's OK. As I moved across the floor I thought, it's not like I can hide how fat I am anymore. I'm okay with people dismissing it as, oh-fat guy.
So, really, there's no "solution" for this I guess. If it gets more uncomfortable (as I get fatter?) I'm going to find sweatpants.
It seems I just can't walk with my legs apart enough to not have the shorts bunch up between my newly fat thighs. I was pushing/pulling the sled at the gym, and up they went. My boxer briefs stay down so that's OK. As I moved across the floor I thought, it's not like I can hide how fat I am anymore. I'm okay with people dismissing it as, oh-fat guy.
So, really, there's no "solution" for this I guess. If it gets more uncomfortable (as I get fatter?) I'm going to find sweatpants.
Bro, get you some leggings. Trust me on this. As a woman with thick thighs, they are a lifesaver.
Something like this:
2 years
Need advice on a guy
LoraDayton:
I'm going to be blunt: you are putting words into mouths that no one is saying and openly stating you solely want male attention, then coming here asking why a man is giving you half-assed attention. No one is "over reacting" eg there is no outward pouring of emotion here. You are placing your need for validation onto the shoulders of men who will not even validate themselves. This is bad for you, objectively.
I never said anything about anyone *having* to be in a relationsihp; I literally validated the fact that you don't have to be. But respect is STILL the foundation of *any* interaction with someone regardless of its depth and you WILL get hurt if you do not accept that standard for yourself.
You are hurting yourself now by refusing to listen to what people are telling you. You are still shouldering the responsibility for this married dude who is fatphobic and reading into actions and between lines for him and excusing his behavior. You are doing his emotional labor for him because that distracts you from doing yours for yourself. You asked for advice and you got it, but it's not hte advice you want. Because it's not advice you want, it's validation. They aren't the same thing.
Just because his behavior may have reasons, valid or not, doesn't excuse his actions and how they can and do harm you. It doesn't give him permission to treat you that way and yet that's exactly what you're doing.
That's your choice. I am just pointing out that it WILL harm you.
Startnew:
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Munchies:
Wow. The copium is strong. You took an internet stranger's earnest plea to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you lash out and insult them. It's sad. She was being so nice and polite to you too.
You are a messy, messy person. You and the married dude deserve each other.
Startnew:
Girls, you make me laugh. Coupling to bully a girl for the sake of women's rights on a website like this, calling her a mess and the like. You are funnier than SNL. You are right, I get what I deserve: a beautiful guy whom I am getting naughty with. Wonder why that makes YOU feel uncomfortable
I'm going to be blunt: you are putting words into mouths that no one is saying and openly stating you solely want male attention, then coming here asking why a man is giving you half-assed attention. No one is "over reacting" eg there is no outward pouring of emotion here. You are placing your need for validation onto the shoulders of men who will not even validate themselves. This is bad for you, objectively.
I never said anything about anyone *having* to be in a relationsihp; I literally validated the fact that you don't have to be. But respect is STILL the foundation of *any* interaction with someone regardless of its depth and you WILL get hurt if you do not accept that standard for yourself.
You are hurting yourself now by refusing to listen to what people are telling you. You are still shouldering the responsibility for this married dude who is fatphobic and reading into actions and between lines for him and excusing his behavior. You are doing his emotional labor for him because that distracts you from doing yours for yourself. You asked for advice and you got it, but it's not hte advice you want. Because it's not advice you want, it's validation. They aren't the same thing.
Just because his behavior may have reasons, valid or not, doesn't excuse his actions and how they can and do harm you. It doesn't give him permission to treat you that way and yet that's exactly what you're doing.
That's your choice. I am just pointing out that it WILL harm you.
Startnew:
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Munchies:
Wow. The copium is strong. You took an internet stranger's earnest plea to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you lash out and insult them. It's sad. She was being so nice and polite to you too.
You are a messy, messy person. You and the married dude deserve each other.
Startnew:
Girls, you make me laugh. Coupling to bully a girl for the sake of women's rights on a website like this, calling her a mess and the like. You are funnier than SNL. You are right, I get what I deserve: a beautiful guy whom I am getting naughty with. Wonder why that makes YOU feel uncomfortable
I'm just calling a spade a spade.
I am very curious as to why you don't want to leave Mr. Married and find someone else who's single. You never did explain that. The only reason that makes sense is that you are too scared to try and you've caught some kind of feelings for him.
Does his wife know about you? Have you two talked to each other?
2 years
Need advice on a guy
Startnew:
There is this guy I am in touch with on fb, who is just gorgeous. And he seems to like me too: he always likes my pix and sometimes we even sext, although it's more about exchanging flirty messages. However, when commenting fb posts on random groups, he will crack the occasional fat joke, not about me or at anyone else 's expenses, just in general. Ofc, he is married to a really thin girl, but I dont resent him for that. People may fall in love for different reasons and anyway he lives abroad. I am just wondering what could motivate a guy to act with such a lack of consistency. Mind you, my pix are recent and unfiltered because I want people to see the real ME, so he certainly noticed I am a BBW. How can you like some characteristics and at the same time make fun of them? I have slight preference for short guys, but I am nit tempted to make fun of them
Munchies:
Girl. This man is traaaaaaash. Don't waste your precious time on him.
He's a married man stepping out on his wife with a woman he doesn't even respect.
Let it go. Let it ride. Find someone else who will love and respect you. Don't settle for the first guy who pays you attention, because not all attention is good. Love yourself, girl.
Startnew:
I dont know, maybe there is something about my post implying I have feelings for him, but it seems to me you guys are kinda overeacting. He is married and we exchanged a few flirty messages. Then I found out he made a few mild fat jokes. Not at my expense, just in general. I think you guys are seeing this under a very dramatic light. Hope I'll get less raged opinions.
As for him being married: I am not overjoyed about it, but it's just harmless fun
Munchies:
Ah. I see what's going on here. You're looking for validation.
You feel insecure about your looks, and he makes you feel pretty. You feel like he's the only one that can make you feel this way, so instead of looking for some so-called harmless fun with a single guy, you want to stick with him.
There's just one problem - he's a walking red flag. You've been ignoring a lot of it. However, you can't ignore the fatphobic comments. Why? Because those threaten the fantasy world that you've constructed for yourself. It turns you into his dirty little secret, and you don't want to deal with it.
So, you come to this site hoping people will pet your hand and tell you that everything is going to be okay. Instead, three different women are telling you to leave this man altogether.
You don't want to leave him. You want to stay with him because you've caught feelings for this man. You're right. You don't love him. Because if you did, you wouldn't cling to him so. No, you are in lust and denial. That's why you are rejecting the advice of one gender and are hoping that another gender will tell you what you want to hear.
Startnew:
Insecure??? You are the one hiding, I posted lots of pix showing proudly my body to anyone who wants to see it.
Needing validation? Read what I just wrote. How would you feel if someone assumed you feel the need to feed your man because you are insecure and want to level him down to you?
Advice is advice, being all catty and jealous and trying to undermine someine else's self esteem is what you are trying to do now. When people mean well, they accept gracefully their advice might not be received. They dont start screaming: ooooh but you are looking for validation!!! Dont you dare projecting your own insecurities on me. I am not the one hiding behind a typewriter.
There is this guy I am in touch with on fb, who is just gorgeous. And he seems to like me too: he always likes my pix and sometimes we even sext, although it's more about exchanging flirty messages. However, when commenting fb posts on random groups, he will crack the occasional fat joke, not about me or at anyone else 's expenses, just in general. Ofc, he is married to a really thin girl, but I dont resent him for that. People may fall in love for different reasons and anyway he lives abroad. I am just wondering what could motivate a guy to act with such a lack of consistency. Mind you, my pix are recent and unfiltered because I want people to see the real ME, so he certainly noticed I am a BBW. How can you like some characteristics and at the same time make fun of them? I have slight preference for short guys, but I am nit tempted to make fun of them
Munchies:
Girl. This man is traaaaaaash. Don't waste your precious time on him.
He's a married man stepping out on his wife with a woman he doesn't even respect.
Let it go. Let it ride. Find someone else who will love and respect you. Don't settle for the first guy who pays you attention, because not all attention is good. Love yourself, girl.
Startnew:
I dont know, maybe there is something about my post implying I have feelings for him, but it seems to me you guys are kinda overeacting. He is married and we exchanged a few flirty messages. Then I found out he made a few mild fat jokes. Not at my expense, just in general. I think you guys are seeing this under a very dramatic light. Hope I'll get less raged opinions.
As for him being married: I am not overjoyed about it, but it's just harmless fun
Munchies:
Ah. I see what's going on here. You're looking for validation.
You feel insecure about your looks, and he makes you feel pretty. You feel like he's the only one that can make you feel this way, so instead of looking for some so-called harmless fun with a single guy, you want to stick with him.
There's just one problem - he's a walking red flag. You've been ignoring a lot of it. However, you can't ignore the fatphobic comments. Why? Because those threaten the fantasy world that you've constructed for yourself. It turns you into his dirty little secret, and you don't want to deal with it.
So, you come to this site hoping people will pet your hand and tell you that everything is going to be okay. Instead, three different women are telling you to leave this man altogether.
You don't want to leave him. You want to stay with him because you've caught feelings for this man. You're right. You don't love him. Because if you did, you wouldn't cling to him so. No, you are in lust and denial. That's why you are rejecting the advice of one gender and are hoping that another gender will tell you what you want to hear.
Startnew:
Insecure??? You are the one hiding, I posted lots of pix showing proudly my body to anyone who wants to see it.
Needing validation? Read what I just wrote. How would you feel if someone assumed you feel the need to feed your man because you are insecure and want to level him down to you?
Advice is advice, being all catty and jealous and trying to undermine someine else's self esteem is what you are trying to do now. When people mean well, they accept gracefully their advice might not be received. They dont start screaming: ooooh but you are looking for validation!!! Dont you dare projecting your own insecurities on me. I am not the one hiding behind a typewriter.
Actually, the reason why there are no pictures of myself on here is the same reason why there are no pictures of myself anywhere. I was stalked twice before as a child by men who wanted to hurt my mother for rejecting them. It was a deeply traumatizing situation. There were death threats and attempted kidnapping. The courts got involved. I even got a restraining order on one of them.
Due to this, I only share pictures of myself with people I trust.
I also fail to see how my lack of pictures relates to your insecurity. Clearly, you feel attacked, and you are attempting to fling mud. You couldn't find anything about me, so you are attempting to make stuff up. And even if it were true, I am not the one in an affair with a married man.
Why you haven't left this man and looked for a single guy as well? If everything is as you say - that it's just harmless fun - then there's no reason why you aren't chatting up a single guy unless you're too scared to do it.
Baby girl, I am not jealous of you, and I'm not being catty. I pity you. I am happy. You very clearly are not, and you're standing in the way of your own happiness.
2 years
Need advice on a guy
Startnew:
Thanks but really, I think you are overeacting. I was just curious about his attitude. I find sometimes people make mistakes in good faith and probably that's what he is doing. If you grow up in a world where they tell you that making fun of fat people is ok, a mild joke on fb will not seem like a big deal, so probably that's the place he is coming from. But he still likes curvy or even BBWs or he wouldnt talk to me.
As for me wasting my time. I dont want to be the one who is overeacting now, but why assuming I MUST find someone? Being a gf is not for everyone, it can be extremely boring. Some people are happy being single, whereas others just think it's better if it happens naturally rather than us (especially the girls) being on the lookout.
Thanks anyway for your time.
LoraDayton:
I'm going to be blunt: you are putting words into mouths that no one is saying and openly stating you solely want male attention, then coming here asking why a man is giving you half-assed attention. No one is "over reacting" eg there is no outward pouring of emotion here. You are placing your need for validation onto the shoulders of men who will not even validate themselves. This is bad for you, objectively.
I never said anything about anyone *having* to be in a relationsihp; I literally validated the fact that you don't have to be. But respect is STILL the foundation of *any* interaction with someone regardless of its depth and you WILL get hurt if you do not accept that standard for yourself.
You are hurting yourself now by refusing to listen to what people are telling you. You are still shouldering the responsibility for this married dude who is fatphobic and reading into actions and between lines for him and excusing his behavior. You are doing his emotional labor for him because that distracts you from doing yours for yourself. You asked for advice and you got it, but it's not hte advice you want. Because it's not advice you want, it's validation. They aren't the same thing.
Just because his behavior may have reasons, valid or not, doesn't excuse his actions and how they can and do harm you. It doesn't give him permission to treat you that way and yet that's exactly what you're doing.
That's your choice. I am just pointing out that it WILL harm you.
Startnew:
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Thanks but really, I think you are overeacting. I was just curious about his attitude. I find sometimes people make mistakes in good faith and probably that's what he is doing. If you grow up in a world where they tell you that making fun of fat people is ok, a mild joke on fb will not seem like a big deal, so probably that's the place he is coming from. But he still likes curvy or even BBWs or he wouldnt talk to me.
As for me wasting my time. I dont want to be the one who is overeacting now, but why assuming I MUST find someone? Being a gf is not for everyone, it can be extremely boring. Some people are happy being single, whereas others just think it's better if it happens naturally rather than us (especially the girls) being on the lookout.
Thanks anyway for your time.
LoraDayton:
I'm going to be blunt: you are putting words into mouths that no one is saying and openly stating you solely want male attention, then coming here asking why a man is giving you half-assed attention. No one is "over reacting" eg there is no outward pouring of emotion here. You are placing your need for validation onto the shoulders of men who will not even validate themselves. This is bad for you, objectively.
I never said anything about anyone *having* to be in a relationsihp; I literally validated the fact that you don't have to be. But respect is STILL the foundation of *any* interaction with someone regardless of its depth and you WILL get hurt if you do not accept that standard for yourself.
You are hurting yourself now by refusing to listen to what people are telling you. You are still shouldering the responsibility for this married dude who is fatphobic and reading into actions and between lines for him and excusing his behavior. You are doing his emotional labor for him because that distracts you from doing yours for yourself. You asked for advice and you got it, but it's not hte advice you want. Because it's not advice you want, it's validation. They aren't the same thing.
Just because his behavior may have reasons, valid or not, doesn't excuse his actions and how they can and do harm you. It doesn't give him permission to treat you that way and yet that's exactly what you're doing.
That's your choice. I am just pointing out that it WILL harm you.
Startnew:
Look Lora, I dont understand why this is warming you up so much. I never said I "solely wanted male attention" but even if I did, so what? Nothing wrong with that. That's not even what I said, however. I just said it would be interesting to get a male perspective too.
Second, you are the one deciding this "WILL hurt me" and that it will "prevent me from finding the right guy", when in fact I am not looking for any guy at all.
Third, you havent even read what he writes. How would you like people to judge your erotica novels without reading them, just because someone who judges so much cant have fun and erotica is supposed to be fun? Or telling yiu that, because of your negativity, you are just fooling yourself into believing you are happy with your size, which is what you claim on your profile?
Gee, you are giving this guy a lot more attention I do. I never thought it was his responsibility to validate my self-esteem. I dont even care what he thinks. I was just curious. Didnt think you would resent my curiosity so much. May I be blunt too? You sound jealous. I am not surprised tho, cause often girls are the ones bodyshaming other girls. It's no wonder people talk about "catty" behavior. Maybe you should write a novel about it.
Wow. The copium is strong. You took an internet stranger's earnest plea to check yourself before you wreck yourself, and you lash out and insult them. It's sad. She was being so nice and polite to you too.
You are a messy, messy person. You and the married dude deserve each other.
2 years
Need advice on a guy
Fat Heidi:
Guys who are into humiliation etc won't give you a true answer. They would most likely use you to make fun of you and tease / make fun of you. Just read the threads here in this "domination and submission" section. They won't tell you their true feelings. Maybe anonymouslybut not under the names they are known here. Talking real talk would destroy the images 😉
And liking isn't always "liking".
Somebody proof me wrong.
Guys who are into humiliation etc won't give you a true answer. They would most likely use you to make fun of you and tease / make fun of you. Just read the threads here in this "domination and submission" section. They won't tell you their true feelings. Maybe anonymouslybut not under the names they are known here. Talking real talk would destroy the images 😉
And liking isn't always "liking".
Somebody proof me wrong.
My feedee is into humiliation, but he would never dare act like this. He respects himself and me far too much to act like this.
Ours is a relationship built on mutual respect and trust. When I say degrading things to him, he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt how much a treasure him. And I show him that all the time. We aren't each other's dirty secret. Our kinks are private, but we don't hide our feelings about each other from the outside world.
2 years
Need advice on a guy
Startnew:
There is this guy I am in touch with on fb, who is just gorgeous. And he seems to like me too: he always likes my pix and sometimes we even sext, although it's more about exchanging flirty messages. However, when commenting fb posts on random groups, he will crack the occasional fat joke, not about me or at anyone else 's expenses, just in general. Ofc, he is married to a really thin girl, but I dont resent him for that. People may fall in love for different reasons and anyway he lives abroad. I am just wondering what could motivate a guy to act with such a lack of consistency. Mind you, my pix are recent and unfiltered because I want people to see the real ME, so he certainly noticed I am a BBW. How can you like some characteristics and at the same time make fun of them? I have slight preference for short guys, but I am nit tempted to make fun of them
Munchies:
Girl. This man is traaaaaaash. Don't waste your precious time on him.
He's a married man stepping out on his wife with a woman he doesn't even respect.
Let it go. Let it ride. Find someone else who will love and respect you. Don't settle for the first guy who pays you attention, because not all attention is good. Love yourself, girl.
Startnew:
I dont know, maybe there is something about my post implying I have feelings for him, but it seems to me you guys are kinda overeacting. He is married and we exchanged a few flirty messages. Then I found out he made a few mild fat jokes. Not at my expense, just in general. I think you guys are seeing this under a very dramatic light. Hope I'll get less raged opinions.
As for him being married: I am not overjoyed about it, but it's just harmless fun
There is this guy I am in touch with on fb, who is just gorgeous. And he seems to like me too: he always likes my pix and sometimes we even sext, although it's more about exchanging flirty messages. However, when commenting fb posts on random groups, he will crack the occasional fat joke, not about me or at anyone else 's expenses, just in general. Ofc, he is married to a really thin girl, but I dont resent him for that. People may fall in love for different reasons and anyway he lives abroad. I am just wondering what could motivate a guy to act with such a lack of consistency. Mind you, my pix are recent and unfiltered because I want people to see the real ME, so he certainly noticed I am a BBW. How can you like some characteristics and at the same time make fun of them? I have slight preference for short guys, but I am nit tempted to make fun of them
Munchies:
Girl. This man is traaaaaaash. Don't waste your precious time on him.
He's a married man stepping out on his wife with a woman he doesn't even respect.
Let it go. Let it ride. Find someone else who will love and respect you. Don't settle for the first guy who pays you attention, because not all attention is good. Love yourself, girl.
Startnew:
I dont know, maybe there is something about my post implying I have feelings for him, but it seems to me you guys are kinda overeacting. He is married and we exchanged a few flirty messages. Then I found out he made a few mild fat jokes. Not at my expense, just in general. I think you guys are seeing this under a very dramatic light. Hope I'll get less raged opinions.
As for him being married: I am not overjoyed about it, but it's just harmless fun
Ah. I see what's going on here. You're looking for validation.
You feel insecure about your looks, and he makes you feel pretty. You feel like he's the only one that can make you feel this way, so instead of looking for some so-called harmless fun with a single guy, you want to stick with him.
There's just one problem - he's a walking red flag. You've been ignoring a lot of it. However, you can't ignore the fatphobic comments. Why? Because those threaten the fantasy world that you've constructed for yourself. It turns you into his dirty little secret, and you don't want to deal with it.
So, you come to this site hoping people will pet your hand and tell you that everything is going to be okay. Instead, three different women are telling you to leave this man altogether.
You don't want to leave him. You want to stay with him because you've caught feelings for this man. You're right. You don't love him. Because if you did, you wouldn't cling to him so. No, you are in lust and denial. That's why you are rejecting the advice of one gender and are hoping that another gender will tell you what you want to hear.
2 years
Need advice on a guy
Startnew:
There is this guy I am in touch with on fb, who is just gorgeous. And he seems to like me too: he always likes my pix and sometimes we even sext, although it's more about exchanging flirty messages. However, when commenting fb posts on random groups, he will crack the occasional fat joke, not about me or at anyone else 's expenses, just in general. Ofc, he is married to a really thin girl, but I dont resent him for that. People may fall in love for different reasons and anyway he lives abroad. I am just wondering what could motivate a guy to act with such a lack of consistency. Mind you, my pix are recent and unfiltered because I want people to see the real ME, so he certainly noticed I am a BBW. How can you like some characteristics and at the same time make fun of them? I have slight preference for short guys, but I am nit tempted to make fun of them
There is this guy I am in touch with on fb, who is just gorgeous. And he seems to like me too: he always likes my pix and sometimes we even sext, although it's more about exchanging flirty messages. However, when commenting fb posts on random groups, he will crack the occasional fat joke, not about me or at anyone else 's expenses, just in general. Ofc, he is married to a really thin girl, but I dont resent him for that. People may fall in love for different reasons and anyway he lives abroad. I am just wondering what could motivate a guy to act with such a lack of consistency. Mind you, my pix are recent and unfiltered because I want people to see the real ME, so he certainly noticed I am a BBW. How can you like some characteristics and at the same time make fun of them? I have slight preference for short guys, but I am nit tempted to make fun of them
Girl. This man is traaaaaaash. Don't waste your precious time on him.
He's a married man stepping out on his wife with a woman he doesn't even respect.
Let it go. Let it ride. Find someone else who will love and respect you. Don't settle for the first guy who pays you attention, because not all attention is good. Love yourself, girl.
2 years
Questions on heavy cream
Luciscool:
I’ve only recently began committing to the idea of letting go and fully gaining weight. I am currently 270 pounds, have the ability to stuff a ton of food, but I want to get back to my peak weight at 292 and get to 300 and beyond. I lost weight when I went to college and went down to 240 and slowly got back to 270 without trying. My main question is how effective is heavy cream and how much can I drink every day to gain as much as possible. I have heard it sits heavy in the stomach but what I eat or drink doesn’t really effect me, so how much could I drink per day for the rest of the year and how effective would it be. I have heard it is like magical weight gain substance for some and just a good way to soften up for others. What should I do to gain the most? By what I’ve seen it’s just eat a lot then drink heavy cream when I wake up and go to sleep, but I want some second opinions.
I’ve only recently began committing to the idea of letting go and fully gaining weight. I am currently 270 pounds, have the ability to stuff a ton of food, but I want to get back to my peak weight at 292 and get to 300 and beyond. I lost weight when I went to college and went down to 240 and slowly got back to 270 without trying. My main question is how effective is heavy cream and how much can I drink every day to gain as much as possible. I have heard it sits heavy in the stomach but what I eat or drink doesn’t really effect me, so how much could I drink per day for the rest of the year and how effective would it be. I have heard it is like magical weight gain substance for some and just a good way to soften up for others. What should I do to gain the most? By what I’ve seen it’s just eat a lot then drink heavy cream when I wake up and go to sleep, but I want some second opinions.
Hello! Feeder here with a background in biology and is into extreme weight gain.
Do not drink heavy cream every single day. It will mess up your internals if you do. (www.livestrong.com/article/505746-will-drinking-heavy-cream-help-weight-gain/)
Having it from time to time is fine, but you have to take breaks - if only to let your body acclimate to your gains. Rapid weight gain is sexy, but too much too soon will hamper your ability to gain more.
2 years