Can't believe NOBODY put the Shawshank Redemption. My second-favourite film of all time!

This is a list of daft things a co-worker of mine has said. Except for the ones listed as (reported), every word is 100% vouched for by me, as I heard them and instantly noted them down.


‘My throat thinks my stomach’s been cut’ – complaining of hunger, 26/10/10

‘What’s this orgasm thing mean?’ – pointing to an orgaNIsm heading, 15/11/10

‘Can I get the 12th off?’; Boss- ‘Yes’; colleague– ‘Can I get the 12th off as well?’ ‘That’s the same day, isn’t it?’ 6/1/11

‘That’s the cat calling the kettle pot’ 7/1/11

‘This is what they call wooden dollies’ (dollars) 13/1/11

‘All of his parents were rich’ 24/1/11

‘If I have to press a button to let people in, how do I get in?’ Question concerning new house with intercom system, 21/3/11

‘Up shit creek without a Swannee’ 29/3/11 (reported)

‘One and two, a baker’s dozen’ 5/4/11

‘It runs out in 2017, so what’s that, 16 years?’ – concerned about driving licence renewal, 27/4/11

‘How did he get in, did he fly in and go through Customs?’ – on being told Bin Laden had been killed in Pakistan, 3/5/11

‘Laneli’ (mispronouncing Llanelli), 18/5/11

‘How do you spell probaly?’ (sic) 25/5/11

‘That looks like something off a Dalmatian’ (meaning Dalek) – referring to colleague's new orthopaedic chair, 10/6/11

‘Where are the Seychelles (pronounced seashells)’? me– ‘On the seashore’ 17/8/11

(Explanation from colleague about how Czech Republic and Slovakia aren’t one country any more) ‘Why don’t they just join together?’ 27/9/11

‘White Chicks Can’t Jump’ – referring to a film quoted by Big Brother housemates, 4/10/11

‘Did you raise a lot of money (in the wheelchair basketball)?;’ senior colleague – ‘£1500, so about half a wheelchair’; ‘How much are wheelchairs, then?’ – 11/10/11

‘What’s your friend’s name?’; Boss – ‘Berger, B-E-R-G-E-R’; ‘Like McDonald’s?’ 12/10/11

‘He’ll be like a bear with a sore arse’ 25/10/11

‘He’s just swimming his own boat’ 8/11/11

‘Equiblium’ 15/11/11

‘Is Denmark in Norway?’ and ‘Is Norway a city?’ 10/1/12

The Eustace Diamonds (at work) and Phineas Redux (in bed) by Trollope, and Crazy Sh*t Old People Say by Geoff Tibbals, which was a friend's idea of a thoughtful Xmas present

Three words:

Philip. K. Dick.

Wow! I had no inkling so many folk would answer my humble little question. Thanks to all of you.
And Molly, yes I have read the Burning Chrome trilogy ... if Neuromancer had been filmed shortly after publication, I think Sigourney Weaver would have made a great razorgirl ... maybe a bit late for her now tho lol

We've all seen the various weird and wonderful ID's we all have. Ever wondered where they come from?
Well to stop people asking you for the millionth time, why not explain it here?
I'll go first ...

Igor Olman is a fictional character in a favourite webcomic of mine, www.dorktower.com. Here's his description:
"To Igor, anything worth doing is worth overdoing. He throws himself into every new game, comic, craze, hobby and pastime with an overwhelming enthusiasm that has made him the official poster boy for Reckless Abandon. As the Power Gamer's Power Gamer, Igor Olman is a die-hard, take-no-prisoners action junkie. He is a god to min-maxing RPG munchkins everywhere, and a gamemaster's worst nightmare."