Butthurt scams?
Malvineous:
If the conversation is over, please lock the thread.
If the conversation is over, please lock the thread.
Bro. I'm not a mod. I don't have the power to do that.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Malvineous:
I don't know why I'm wading into this minefield, but here goes. I think the point that was being made was that most people are out here treating each other like objects. Men treat women like a piece of meat, and women treat men like an ATM. So the dynamic is different between men and women, but we're all humans and the hurt feelings are universal. The cycle that was being referred to was that nobody likes feeling used, and the kneejerk reaction for some people is to get defensive and pay it forward (regardless of gender). Yes, a lot of men are very culpable in this, but ultimately I don't think pointing fingers and blaming others for who started it is really that productive. The end result is still the same, a toxic environment for everybody.
The problem is too wide and runs too deep for simple solutions or for any one group to fix on their own. The only solution I can see is for every single person to make it a hostile environment for anyone who objectifies or dehumanizes others (regardless of gender), including calling out the moderators for not doing their job, as well as leading by example. On Feabie, I have seen some of this in action, men calling out the bad behavior of toxic men, and women criticizing toxic women. That's good, but there's not enough of it to make a real difference. Also, it always means SO much more when people police their own, instead of criticizing other groups. That's a great way to make everyone get defensive and reactionary and stop listening. This is 100% a team effort.
For clarity: No, this post is not aimed at being critical of anyone in this thread. No, I am not blaming women for anything. No, it's not their responsibility to stop men from acting predatory. Yes, a lot of men are contributing to this toxic environment. No, men are not the only ones doing so. No, I don't think it's equivalent in severity. Yes, this problem is complicated. Yes, that means it needs everyone on board to police bad behavior. Yes, on both sides. No, I have not personally done enough, mostly because I have social anxiety and I hate confrontation, but I'm working on it.
P.S. This post is my attempt to lead by example and try to steer this into a civil discussion. No, I'm not looking for pats on the back, I point it out so that others might try to do the same elsewhere.
I don't know why I'm wading into this minefield, but here goes. I think the point that was being made was that most people are out here treating each other like objects. Men treat women like a piece of meat, and women treat men like an ATM. So the dynamic is different between men and women, but we're all humans and the hurt feelings are universal. The cycle that was being referred to was that nobody likes feeling used, and the kneejerk reaction for some people is to get defensive and pay it forward (regardless of gender). Yes, a lot of men are very culpable in this, but ultimately I don't think pointing fingers and blaming others for who started it is really that productive. The end result is still the same, a toxic environment for everybody.
The problem is too wide and runs too deep for simple solutions or for any one group to fix on their own. The only solution I can see is for every single person to make it a hostile environment for anyone who objectifies or dehumanizes others (regardless of gender), including calling out the moderators for not doing their job, as well as leading by example. On Feabie, I have seen some of this in action, men calling out the bad behavior of toxic men, and women criticizing toxic women. That's good, but there's not enough of it to make a real difference. Also, it always means SO much more when people police their own, instead of criticizing other groups. That's a great way to make everyone get defensive and reactionary and stop listening. This is 100% a team effort.
For clarity: No, this post is not aimed at being critical of anyone in this thread. No, I am not blaming women for anything. No, it's not their responsibility to stop men from acting predatory. Yes, a lot of men are contributing to this toxic environment. No, men are not the only ones doing so. No, I don't think it's equivalent in severity. Yes, this problem is complicated. Yes, that means it needs everyone on board to police bad behavior. Yes, on both sides. No, I have not personally done enough, mostly because I have social anxiety and I hate confrontation, but I'm working on it.
P.S. This post is my attempt to lead by example and try to steer this into a civil discussion. No, I'm not looking for pats on the back, I point it out so that others might try to do the same elsewhere.
Hun, the conversation ended. You are stiring it back up. And this is *not* a both sides argument. Please listen.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Reflection Of Perfection:
Sorry for coming off like I'm blaming them, I'm not.
Like I said it's a cycle. Men brutalize women, women protect themselves, men who aren't brutalizing get caught in the crossfire, they treat women worse and the cycle continues.
I agree its on the men to be better and the site to protect them. One of the ways the site can protect them is for women to blast the creeps with screenshots of their bad behavior.
Munchies:
I get that you are trying to be helpful, but this ain't it, chief.
As a woman, I shouldn't *have* to fight to be safe. As a woman, it isn't my fault if some guy gets butt hurt and goes after someone else because I wouldn't suck his toes.
You are speaking from the outside looking in. You understand that the situation is bad, but you are viewing it through a privileged lense. You cannot fully conceptualize what the lived experience is like.
You have two different women telling you how things are. If you want to help, please listen.
Reflection Of Perfection:
I do my part. If a friend of mine shows me someone being rude, I take it upon myself to join in.
Like that clownweasel making racist and rude remarks in the chat the other night, I told the guy to pound sand and he ended up deleting his account.
But hey, I'm an outsider. If you say to sit this one out, sure. That's all I'll say.
Hun, that's not even what I said. That is not what Lora said. We said that you need to listen. And if what you took away from what you said is to stop talking and stay out of it, then you still are not listening.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Reflection Of Perfection:
First of all, this is NOT a scam, just a misunderstanding.
However, this is what I've been squawking about for a while is that it's damn near impossible to make connections these days because it's all about "content creators" trying to make money.
Munchies is right that anyone has a right to refuse to speak to anybody because no one is entitled to a response, but at the same time too much of "serious feeders only" breed contempt and a toxic cycle I've already whined about before.
I don't know what can be done though, any suggestions?
Munchies:
I suppose the real question is why are there more women who are here for money rather than connections?
No matter what rules and enforcements exist, if there is a market with customers willing to pay, people will make a buck. So, these women aren't really part of the problem.
No, the real issue is that women who come here to make connections do not stay on this site very long compared to their male counter-parts. We need to engage with *that* instead.
We need to make FF a place where women feel safe. And if you have that, the women who are here to make a buck are a non-issue.
Reflection Of Perfection:
That's part of the cycle I'm talking about. The males that get overly aggressive, rude and downright psychotic deserve to be banned but the lasting effect is scaring off women looking for connections. That's why women go into shells to protect themselves by making men pay to chat so if they get rude, aggressive, etc then at least they squeezed some dollars out of them first.
That's why women need to come forward and blast these creepy sons of b*thes that act like that.
The cycle that comes out of that is women go into shells to protect themselves but then men go into their own shells and treat women like strippers because they've made it clear its all about selling "content".
Breaking the cycle would be just everyone getting along and not being creepy. Good luck to that ever happening though.
Munchies:
Ngl, it low key sounds like you are blaming these women for the actions of grown men who know better but choose not to be better. And, if OP's post hasn't already shown proof, these women get victimized by the very same men.
So, on that note, it is on the *men* to be better, and the *site* to protect the women on here.
It's similar to another arguement that I have seen. How strippers and prostitutes encourage men to brutilize women. It's a silly arguement because the men brutilize the sex workers who get into sex work for all kinds of reasons. And it's obvious that the men are the only ones at fault. But *somehow* it's women's fault that men are gross to women.
Reflection Of Perfection:
Sorry for coming off like I'm blaming them, I'm not.
Like I said it's a cycle. Men brutalize women, women protect themselves, men who aren't brutalizing get caught in the crossfire, they treat women worse and the cycle continues.
I agree its on the men to be better and the site to protect them. One of the ways the site can protect them is for women to blast the creeps with screenshots of their bad behavior.
First of all, this is NOT a scam, just a misunderstanding.
However, this is what I've been squawking about for a while is that it's damn near impossible to make connections these days because it's all about "content creators" trying to make money.
Munchies is right that anyone has a right to refuse to speak to anybody because no one is entitled to a response, but at the same time too much of "serious feeders only" breed contempt and a toxic cycle I've already whined about before.
I don't know what can be done though, any suggestions?
Munchies:
I suppose the real question is why are there more women who are here for money rather than connections?
No matter what rules and enforcements exist, if there is a market with customers willing to pay, people will make a buck. So, these women aren't really part of the problem.
No, the real issue is that women who come here to make connections do not stay on this site very long compared to their male counter-parts. We need to engage with *that* instead.
We need to make FF a place where women feel safe. And if you have that, the women who are here to make a buck are a non-issue.
Reflection Of Perfection:
That's part of the cycle I'm talking about. The males that get overly aggressive, rude and downright psychotic deserve to be banned but the lasting effect is scaring off women looking for connections. That's why women go into shells to protect themselves by making men pay to chat so if they get rude, aggressive, etc then at least they squeezed some dollars out of them first.
That's why women need to come forward and blast these creepy sons of b*thes that act like that.
The cycle that comes out of that is women go into shells to protect themselves but then men go into their own shells and treat women like strippers because they've made it clear its all about selling "content".
Breaking the cycle would be just everyone getting along and not being creepy. Good luck to that ever happening though.
Munchies:
Ngl, it low key sounds like you are blaming these women for the actions of grown men who know better but choose not to be better. And, if OP's post hasn't already shown proof, these women get victimized by the very same men.
So, on that note, it is on the *men* to be better, and the *site* to protect the women on here.
It's similar to another arguement that I have seen. How strippers and prostitutes encourage men to brutilize women. It's a silly arguement because the men brutilize the sex workers who get into sex work for all kinds of reasons. And it's obvious that the men are the only ones at fault. But *somehow* it's women's fault that men are gross to women.
Reflection Of Perfection:
Sorry for coming off like I'm blaming them, I'm not.
Like I said it's a cycle. Men brutalize women, women protect themselves, men who aren't brutalizing get caught in the crossfire, they treat women worse and the cycle continues.
I agree its on the men to be better and the site to protect them. One of the ways the site can protect them is for women to blast the creeps with screenshots of their bad behavior.
I get that you are trying to be helpful, but this ain't it, chief.
As a woman, I shouldn't *have* to fight to be safe. As a woman, it isn't my fault if some guy gets butt hurt and goes after someone else because I wouldn't suck his toes.
You are speaking from the outside looking in. You understand that the situation is bad, but you are viewing it through a privileged lense. You cannot fully conceptualize what the lived experience is like.
You have two different women telling you how things are. If you want to help, please listen.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Reflection Of Perfection:
First of all, this is NOT a scam, just a misunderstanding.
However, this is what I've been squawking about for a while is that it's damn near impossible to make connections these days because it's all about "content creators" trying to make money.
Munchies is right that anyone has a right to refuse to speak to anybody because no one is entitled to a response, but at the same time too much of "serious feeders only" breed contempt and a toxic cycle I've already whined about before.
I don't know what can be done though, any suggestions?
Munchies:
I suppose the real question is why are there more women who are here for money rather than connections?
No matter what rules and enforcements exist, if there is a market with customers willing to pay, people will make a buck. So, these women aren't really part of the problem.
No, the real issue is that women who come here to make connections do not stay on this site very long compared to their male counter-parts. We need to engage with *that* instead.
We need to make FF a place where women feel safe. And if you have that, the women who are here to make a buck are a non-issue.
Reflection Of Perfection:
That's part of the cycle I'm talking about. The males that get overly aggressive, rude and downright psychotic deserve to be banned but the lasting effect is scaring off women looking for connections. That's why women go into shells to protect themselves by making men pay to chat so if they get rude, aggressive, etc then at least they squeezed some dollars out of them first.
That's why women need to come forward and blast these creepy sons of b*thes that act like that.
The cycle that comes out of that is women go into shells to protect themselves but then men go into their own shells and treat women like strippers because they've made it clear its all about selling "content".
Breaking the cycle would be just everyone getting along and not being creepy. Good luck to that ever happening though.
First of all, this is NOT a scam, just a misunderstanding.
However, this is what I've been squawking about for a while is that it's damn near impossible to make connections these days because it's all about "content creators" trying to make money.
Munchies is right that anyone has a right to refuse to speak to anybody because no one is entitled to a response, but at the same time too much of "serious feeders only" breed contempt and a toxic cycle I've already whined about before.
I don't know what can be done though, any suggestions?
Munchies:
I suppose the real question is why are there more women who are here for money rather than connections?
No matter what rules and enforcements exist, if there is a market with customers willing to pay, people will make a buck. So, these women aren't really part of the problem.
No, the real issue is that women who come here to make connections do not stay on this site very long compared to their male counter-parts. We need to engage with *that* instead.
We need to make FF a place where women feel safe. And if you have that, the women who are here to make a buck are a non-issue.
Reflection Of Perfection:
That's part of the cycle I'm talking about. The males that get overly aggressive, rude and downright psychotic deserve to be banned but the lasting effect is scaring off women looking for connections. That's why women go into shells to protect themselves by making men pay to chat so if they get rude, aggressive, etc then at least they squeezed some dollars out of them first.
That's why women need to come forward and blast these creepy sons of b*thes that act like that.
The cycle that comes out of that is women go into shells to protect themselves but then men go into their own shells and treat women like strippers because they've made it clear its all about selling "content".
Breaking the cycle would be just everyone getting along and not being creepy. Good luck to that ever happening though.
Ngl, it low key sounds like you are blaming these women for the actions of grown men who know better but choose not to be better. And, if OP's post hasn't already shown proof, these women get victimized by the very same men.
So, on that note, it is on the *men* to be better, and the *site* to protect the women on here.
It's similar to another arguement that I have seen. How strippers and prostitutes encourage men to brutilize women. It's a silly arguement because the men brutilize the sex workers who get into sex work for all kinds of reasons. And it's obvious that the men are the only ones at fault. But *somehow* it's women's fault that men are gross to women.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Reflection Of Perfection:
First of all, this is NOT a scam, just a misunderstanding.
However, this is what I've been squawking about for a while is that it's damn near impossible to make connections these days because it's all about "content creators" trying to make money.
Munchies is right that anyone has a right to refuse to speak to anybody because no one is entitled to a response, but at the same time too much of "serious feeders only" breed contempt and a toxic cycle I've already whined about before.
I don't know what can be done though, any suggestions?
First of all, this is NOT a scam, just a misunderstanding.
However, this is what I've been squawking about for a while is that it's damn near impossible to make connections these days because it's all about "content creators" trying to make money.
Munchies is right that anyone has a right to refuse to speak to anybody because no one is entitled to a response, but at the same time too much of "serious feeders only" breed contempt and a toxic cycle I've already whined about before.
I don't know what can be done though, any suggestions?
I suppose the real question is why are there more women who are here for money rather than connections?
No matter what rules and enforcements exist, if there is a market with customers willing to pay, people will make a buck. So, these women aren't really part of the problem.
No, the real issue is that women who come here to make connections do not stay on this site very long compared to their male counter-parts. We need to engage with *that* instead.
We need to make FF a place where women feel safe. And if you have that, the women who are here to make a buck are a non-issue.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Malvineous:
I, too, am butthurt about scams. Not this situation though, I mean the real ones.
I, too, am butthurt about scams. Not this situation though, I mean the real ones.
Deffo. I think everyone should be upset about scams.
This situation, however, is not a scam.
2 years
Are we all "doomed" to eventually give in and get fat?
Anon5665:
I have been interested on and off with the idea of getting fat for years. Eventually, I'll tell myself it isn't for me and that I'd be happier thin.
I thought that I finally "shook off" the urge, since it's been over a year that I considered the possibility of gaining and getting a feeder, but over the last week the urge has shown up and getting stronger.
I know some people have dealt with this before and gained, but do most? I would love some direction.
If it's relevant, I'm referring to extreme obesity, not just becoming chubby, which is low-risk. Going back wouldn't be an option if I really worked toward how fat I would become.
Edit: Specifically, I go from feeling good about my body, to thinking that I would look much better if I were fat. I see myself in the mirror, and I like what I see, but I would like it a lot more if I had, like, several hundred pounds added on me.
Thank you
I have been interested on and off with the idea of getting fat for years. Eventually, I'll tell myself it isn't for me and that I'd be happier thin.
I thought that I finally "shook off" the urge, since it's been over a year that I considered the possibility of gaining and getting a feeder, but over the last week the urge has shown up and getting stronger.
I know some people have dealt with this before and gained, but do most? I would love some direction.
If it's relevant, I'm referring to extreme obesity, not just becoming chubby, which is low-risk. Going back wouldn't be an option if I really worked toward how fat I would become.
Edit: Specifically, I go from feeling good about my body, to thinking that I would look much better if I were fat. I see myself in the mirror, and I like what I see, but I would like it a lot more if I had, like, several hundred pounds added on me.
Thank you
Like anything, it depends on the person. Some people will never have an interest in getting fat. Some people (like myself) will initially be interested before discovering that we want something else.
Still, on FF at least, the feeder-to-feedee pipeline is well known.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Conflicted:
You assumed i was looking for a lover. You're assuming a lot about me. This was a waste of time. My whole point was her basically being rude. But thats ok, because its out the window these days. Its proven to me on a daily basis...
You assumed i was looking for a lover. You're assuming a lot about me. This was a waste of time. My whole point was her basically being rude. But thats ok, because its out the window these days. Its proven to me on a daily basis...
I see you are 43 years old. Maybe you don't fully understand internet lingo, but when someone says they "want something real and in-person" that means they want to meet up and engage in a romantic (and possibly sexual) relationship.
2 years
Butthurt scams?
Conflicted:
She posted on her profile she was open to either of two scenarios. If she was just out for content i wouldn't waste my time with that. So when i told her what I was looking for she thought it more "polite" to just block me as opposed to just saying thanks, but no thanks. Have a good day. Thats all.
She posted on her profile she was open to either of two scenarios. If she was just out for content i wouldn't waste my time with that. So when i told her what I was looking for she thought it more "polite" to just block me as opposed to just saying thanks, but no thanks. Have a good day. Thats all.
Ok ... how is that a scam? Also, being a feeder doesn't automatically make you someone's lover. Plenty of people on this site - of all genders - are looking for feedees or feeders but aren't looking for partners.
Nothing that you've said has indicated this woman is a scammer. And if *anyone* is butthurt, it's you.
I am also curious if you are aware of the average interaction a woman has with a man on this site. Especially in our DMs. Lotta toxic people who do not read profiles or understand/respect boundaries. It can get pretty scary. I get some ... concerning messages in my DMs from time to time and I *have* someone.
She's a woman who is advertising herself for financial gain. She must be pretty if you wanted to date her. But how many other guys out there are messaging her even after she's clearly labeled her intentions? It's probably easier for her to block and move on.
I'm sorry she hurt your feelings, hun. But this thread? This isn't painting you in the best light. Just cut your losses and move on.
2 years
