AskDrFeeder:
I've heard this story many times. A person has no interest in feedism but is persuaded to try it by their feeder. They gain some and by their partner's reaction realize how erotic feedism can be. It starts to turn them on, and before you know it they appreciate gaining on its own merits. They'll want to continue even if they break up with their partner.

Has this happened to you? Can you add any details? (I've heard of this happening many times but no one seems to be able to describe it very well. )

Angy523:
I think this is related to the way we (feeders) choose (unintentionally) our parteners. As an example, I've always been into bigger guys (not only fat, some were big muscular guys) with a big appetite. We can agree in those cases, when a relationship occurs and they keep more time to spend with their partener and less for the gym, they'll gain some weight. Considering their appetite and the love for food, but also wanting to spend more time with their partener, they either need to struggle to eat less or to accept their gaining. Of course the firs part is easier. This cumulated with the positive reaction from the partener may make them to try more (as gaining, enjoying their softer bodies and so on). But keep in mind they already had the big appetite, the big body and the love for food.

So my theory is this only works because we as feeders, unconsciously look for partenners with some feedee realated qualities. They don't always need to be the bigger ones. It could be someone skinny who hates diets and enjoy every cheat meal way too much or somebody who keeps his form just because of society standards, not for himself/herself or an athlete who can't wait to retire because he started to hate his routine and don't want to do sport ever again or have a restrictive diet...

There are many examples, but my point is: you don't take a person who doesn't like anything related to feedism and make that person a feedee.

Milhause:
I’m just curious how many are in a situation where your partner weighs more than you? I’m 5’7 150lbs and my spouse is 5’4” 220 lbs and I find the contrast so sexy. She’s all tummy and she’s so beautiful.

Celiamarie:
My partner is almost twice my weight. I absolutely love it; as you say, the contrast is incredibly sexy and I love her huge, soft body. We're about 1-2 inches apart in height. I'm 5'9", and she's between 5'7" and 5'8" (it seems to change every time we measure her ?? 😵‍💫)

There's just something very attractive about the difference between us. In that someone so much more physically larger than me is submissive to me, and also the aesthetics of her large breasts, stomach, backside, etc. She's so beautiful 😍❤️

Munchies:

Meanwhile, kink negotiations center the person and not the kink. It makes for a more mutually satisfying outcome.

Morbidly A Beast:
There’s a lot of people still out there who have no concept of kink and fetishes. Like me for an example prior to getting into this I really had no idea, and to be frank I still don’t. Are we as “kinksters” forever at a advantage over others in that regard?

Munchies:
Those who know more about a kink - even if it's just that the kink exists - have an advantage over outsiders. As such, we have the ability to greatly influence how a non-feedist partner practices feedism. And that goes for any kink.

Of course, that influence will be there no matter what. But a good partner will do whatever it takes to give their partner agency as they figure out their boundaries and interests.

I've noticed in the forums that whenever a feedist (usually a feeder) brings their non-feedist partner into the kink, the ones that ensure their partner's agency tend to work out better long term than those that don't.

Morbidly A Beast:
Interesting and noted. Do you think I need to express to a potential non-feedist partner that this isn’t my “final form” so to speak?

Johnxyz:
In many cases, gaining weight is a choice, but remaining fat is not. Once you're fat, eating less will slow your metabolism and cause you to gain, and eating more will cause a gain. You look nice at your current weight, but I can understand that being over 600 pounds is not always easy.

DMVGrower:
Losing weight isn't easy and in my experience what they say about the whole "fat cells don't go away only shrink" seems true. I have been losing pretty successfully for 2 or 3 years now but if I take a few days to chill, like vacation I start putting it back on and pretty quick.

Voluptuouslover:
This right here - I have actually got down to my lowest in a very long time and in really good shape aesthetically and physically with abs again for the first time in so many years. Well this was true about six months ago - I first realized I had gained in the last 3 mo this at a doctors bi- annual check up gaining 19 lbs. since the last visit. Just got back from a vacation with the wife where both of us clearly put on more weight and all of a sudden I have a gut sitting out on my lap and getting in the way of most everything g I do again - such a different feeling I have not had in a while. The wild thing is it triggered something in me again to start intentionally gaining again within the last week. I am not only stuffing my self but my wife seems to have noticed my big gut again and has been secretly filling my plate with massive amounts at breakfast, lunch & dinner. I intentionally gaining and she is secretly helping without out is discussing it. It is a crazy arousing situation for me.

Truth be told like above - or took forever to get in that kind of shape and only next to no time to ruin it and get a big gut again - after over eating for a while - o am already eating 2-3 times as much as I used to. All of a sudden my days are about consuming large mounts of food and being horny and fattened all the time.

DMVGrower:
Yeah honestly Obesity is sort of a life long condition if they don't classify it as such because you are always om the edge of being obese again. I suspect that is why so many biggest loser contestants blew up again. Not that their eating habits were poor, but they probably were. But more that they still have all the fat and it just needed to be filled again.

Milhause:
I’m just curious how many are in a situation where your partner weighs more than you? I’m 5’7 150lbs and my spouse is 5’4” 220 lbs and I find the contrast so sexy. She’s all tummy and she’s so beautiful.

Curiousv:
For me it's if she's already considerably fat, and loves eating, but she can manage (even if only barely) to hold herself back from stuffing herself all the time, because of being afraid of not being accepted.

Showing her affection and acceptance, as well as she gradually learning that I not only tolerate her size but love it, might make her to abandon her restraints, and start indulging herself completely.
I would feel somewhat guilty (even though I neither forced nor tricked her into it), but it is such a hot fantasy.

Celiamarie:
Personally, I quite enjoy the BDSM adjacent aspects of it; she knows that I prefer her larger body, so she continues to gain to appeal to me. And then as we go about our day with her new body, knowing that it's down to my handiwork... It's not dissimilar to the appeal of collaring... ?

I also really, really like the idea of a woman rewarding her small weight loss achievements with lots of treats, and undoing all of her progress.

Both of these scenarios have kind of unfolded with my girlfriend, which is probably why I like them so much 😆

Curiousv:
For me it's if she's already considerably fat, and loves eating, but she can manage (even if only barely) to hold herself back from stuffing herself all the time, because of being afraid of not being accepted.

Showing her affection and acceptance, as well as she gradually learning that I not only tolerate her size but love it, might make her to abandon her restraints, and start indulging herself completely.
I would feel somewhat guilty (even though I neither forced nor tricked her into it), but it is such a hot fantasy.

Munchies:

Meanwhile, kink negotiations center the person and not the kink. It makes for a more mutually satisfying outcome.

Morbidly A Beast:
There’s a lot of people still out there who have no concept of kink and fetishes. Like me for an example prior to getting into this I really had no idea, and to be frank I still don’t. Are we as “kinksters” forever at a advantage over others in that regard?

Morbidly A Beast:
Y’all feeders might have a easier time with people who are already fat I mean for me it was just a failed diet a lil bit of body positivity and fat acceptance and I was hooked — it’s important however to express those intentions not all fatties like being fat

AskDrFeeder:
I'm not talking about just introducing someone to a new thing, I'm talking about the case where you introduce them to a new thing and they get into it. If you don't want to call that "teaching", fine by me but your term doesn't quite work either.

Munchies:
That's basic English, but you do you, boo.

AskDrFeeder:
I don't know, sometimes you introduce someone to a new thing and they don't like it.