Etiola:
115 lbs at 5'6" ! I can't believe your mom said you were better then. In what kind of screwed up society do we live where being underweight is perceived as better than being fat? Ugh.
Yeah ... I had an abusive childhood. I wouldn't blame society on this one. When I finally started to fill out more most people were pleased or indifferent. It was literally only my mom who was insane like this.
My mom used to be a professional model as a child before later enlisting into the military at 17. She was a vegetarian and extremely underweight. The military made her gain weight so she could go forward with her service.
The magic number they made her gain to? 115 lbs. For her height of 5'9", that was enough to put her on the BMI chart. She was that underweight. However, this was never explained to her. Or maybe it was, and she wasn't paying attention? I dunno.
Time passes. She gets married and has kids. Naturally, she puts on weight - especially once she's been discharged. Still, she wants to go from 5'9" and 170 lbs to 5'9" 115 lbs. Repeated explanations by her husband, friends, and family that this isn't healthy go ignored.
I take after my mother a lot. So much so that people would mistake us for each other when I was younger. So my mom projected her insecurities on me a lot. I had the body she wanted, and she couldn't understand why I wasn't happy.
I nearly developed an eating disorder. The only reason I didn't is that I am a diet controlled diabetic. Not eating consistently is scary and dangerous for people like me. But I do have body dysmorphia. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be.
I am largely ok now.