Same!

46, and most assume I’m in my 30s.

I also have a young playful demeanor and I tend to connect best with those in their 30s. I’m also a cougar and will hook up with those in their 20s, keeps me young!

I didn’t come to this fetish until a few years ago so I’m still a baby.

There’s a book called The Erotic Mind… and it delves into understanding our erotic themes and the whys and the complicated feelings some of the more niche ones provoke.

So if you’re looking to explore the whys for yourself more I would highly recommend it.

In general it’s a fascinating book. My kinks and needs are always evolving and fluctuating and so I’ve read it a few times. Even helped me understand some of my behaviors that aren’t even sexual!

Words like slave don’t really work for me but having my belly button played with sure tf does!!!

🤤🤤🤤

Thanks for bringing this perspective.

Fake people are very annoying to me too but these types of threads tend to expose just how toxic some male members attitudes about women can be.

(Like calling women females is dehumanizing and an instant red flag for a lot of women.)

I’ve experienced/witnessed so much misogyny on this site… some of y’all are here hoping to meet women but then the majority of your comments in forums and what not are just complaints/entitlement about women and those of us who are real see that shit and that’s why we have nothing to do with you.

And fake people bother me less than the very real people in my inbox that have zero concept of consent and send messages that clearly demonstrate they don’t see me as human but a thing to project their perverted fantasies onto... Some have been genuinely disturbing and extremely uncomfortable for even me and I’m kink af.

I have rarely seen women make a post complaining about what’s in their inbox even tho I bet 100% of us have had that issue… but it feels like every time I come to the forums to see what people are talking about there’s usually a thread of men complaining about the women here.

When you treat the women who are here authentically the way that y’all do it drives them away, you realize that yeah?

Do better. ✌🏼

If I’m sending a text and I know they’re at work or maybe it’s kinda late I will make sure to put all my thoughts into one text.

If I’m having an active conversation I’m usually going to send multiple texts.

Some close friends that I have a silly dynamic with I will absolutely blow their shit up. Or if I’m trying to get their attention or it’s my kids and they aren’t answering… I will send each letter of a word as an individual text because I am obnoxious af. 🫠

So it might look like this…

A
N
S
W
E
R

M
E

I think you can usually tell by the way someone texts you what their personal preference may be if you’re trying to be mindful,

If your having difficulties reconciling this fetish there’s a book called The Erotic Mind that you may find helpful.

It’s very interesting and quite reassuring.

I didn’t come to this fetish until I was in my 40s and while I have always been kinky and always exploring new things (thanks adhd!) my abusive exbf was a catalyst in me exploring this fetish and trying to reconcile the weight I’d gained and not allow his abuse to win.

And I believe it definitely helped turn what could have been very negative into something positive.

He was an awful human and definitely tried to use my weight gain to undermine my confidence instead I embraced it and turned it into something fun and was able to eventually leave him.

None of my other partners (I’m polyamorous) had any opinions about my weight one way or another but I found play partners that would indulge me in it… it really helped to take away the power from the shame he was trying to throw at me.

I know a lot of people struggle with this kink and the implications of it but I think as long as you indulge in it with someone else that also enthusiastically consents and wants to participate it’s perfectly ok.

Abuse and trauma can be really complicated to heal from, it took a lot of therapy to heal from my own experiences. It really helped me a lot with navigating my new relationships in much healthier ways, I’d really recommend therapy with someone that is trauma informed and kink friendly.

OP, there’s a book called The Erotic Mind and it may be helpful to read, and be more gentle with yourself about this fetish and in general.

In my experience when people try to suppress their sexuality it ends up manifesting in harmful ways such as you have described.

This guy is a sex and relationship therapist and while he isn’t taking new clients he does some online programs that you might find really helpful.

www.toddsbaratz.com/programs

Hmmm, I like teasing that is the combination of an insult and compliment.

If someone said to me, look how you’re getting so fat and ruining your body for my pleasure, as they shove more food in my mouth… or my gawd your belly is getting huge, it makes me want to grab it… or look at you, getting so obese and round and soft and mountable.

You could say anything to me as long as you also tell me it also makes you want to XXX me.

I can think of two very opposite dynamics that I’ve had that are diametrically opposed.

I had a romantic relationship he was submissive to me and loved to spoil me. Feeding me until I was stuff and then absolutely worshiping my body. Because it was an ongoing relationship and we spent a lot of time together there’s not one particular instance I can think of. I just loved the dynamic we had.

It wasn’t just the feeding but also everything else. The control and the power was fun. His desperation and need was always so sexy….

The other experience I had was 🥵🥵🥵 and was not romantic at all… it was sadistic and mean and broke my brain… I will see if I can come up with the time to type it out, it’ll take awhile.

Since I don’t do monogamous relationships I definitely get spoiled by getting to experience this kind of play from multiple perspective and that makes me happy because I like them all.

You might enjoy erotic hypnosis too! That was my introduction into bimbofication/iq reduction stuff.