As someone with a slew of allergies, I know it's not just something to sneeze at, if you'll pardon the pun. Hang in there, and give yourself the grace to ease back into your routine and rebuild your stamina! Feel better soon!

Sincerely appreciate the support ... as well as your emphasis on how a feedee's journey is individualized as anything else in life (and not something that can be gate kept by anyone who thinks it's only legitimate if it's endless eating and endless gaining)!

It is hard, because not a day goes by that I don't want to eat my way into oblivion. I also miss the thrill of gaining honestly.

However, I've made a bunch of lifestyle changes as far as what I eat and how much. To me, it's what I need to do, not just to avoid another medical emergency, but also in order to stay fat. If I had continued to eat 20,000 calories a day and get bigger and bigger, really bad things would have happened with my heart condition, and I knew that even if I survived another crisis, I would then be in a situation where it would be imperative for me to lose weight. I don't want that either. I'm around 565 to 570, and I'm very happy with my body. I'm under no illusion that I am the picture of health, but if I can keep bringing my blood pressure and cholesterol down and keep building some strength, I can avoid medically necessary weigh loss and continue to enjoy a body that I've worked hard for.

When I did my 90k calorie feast over two days last Thanksgiving, I was incredibly turned on, but I have a high tolerance for pain and also a good dose of masochism. I had a very intense stomach ache, my belly and sides hurt from stretching, my breathing was labored for three days, and my hands swelled up so much I couldn't type on a keyboard. Admittedly, I didn't give my body time to recover, because I kept eating and gained about 50 lb in a month. It's not for everybody, and I generally would advise against it unless someone really really really knew what they were getting into. I was barely able to move throughout the holiday season.

It wasn't quite the same. I have a weakness for carbs, cheese, etc., and veggies don't hit the spot in the same way. It was worthwhile though as an alternative, because I felt my belly tighten a bit. I'm too fat for bloating to be visible to others, but I can always tell because my arms rest higher against my body.

Completely agree. The kink is highly individualized anyway. For some people, it's about fat, other people enjoy the gain more than fat itself, and others love the actual act of stuffing. For me it's all three. The point is, the kink is so highly individualized, people will engage with it in very different ways. And it doesn't have to be sexual by any means.

Since a health crisis, I've been maintaining my current wait and working to eat healthy, but I MISS stuffing, and it's been getting harder and harder not to Door Dash ALL the food and eat my way into oblivion. Instead of going down that slippery slope, I did a fruit and vegetable stuffing and was pleased with the results -- that internal tightness and a heavy, full belly.

Stuffing included:
- 1 pound of strawberries
- 2 bananas
- 2 green apples, each with a tablespoon of low fat peanut butter
- 2 pounds of grapes
- 16 oz. low-fat cottage cheese
- 16 oz. of green beans with low sodium marinara sauce (much tastier than it sounds)
- 1 lb bag of broccoli and cauliflower, sauteed in light Italian dressing
- 1 large baked sweet potato
- 2 liters of Diet Sprite
- 1 large pecan, strawberry and Bleu cheese salad
- 4 cups of clear, sugar free jello

Not quite the same as feasts when I was in my "gaining prime" but I did enjoy some good belly bloating and somewhat satisfy my stuffing urge!

I know some people have an interest in health issues but it sounds like you don't. I don't either. However, they're inevitable at my size (570l. All super obese people don't have the same experiences of course, but there's more likely than not going to be *some* issues (e.g. blood pressure, knees, diabetes, loss of mobility, etc.)

Several years ago around 370lb., my doctor was very concerned about my blood pressure. For the first time in my life, I intentionally lost weight, ultimately getting down to 190lb. I hated being smaller, although I was still technically obese. I ended up gaining back all the weight plus another 200lb. through massive stuffings and a daily calorie intake consistently above 10,000.

As I was regaining, I was in better health around 400lb. than I had been at my previous high weight, which was 30lb. lighter. It wasn't until I got significantly bigger that I had a health crisis, a heart surgery, and a very clear directive from my medical team to change my eating habits or I wouldn't be here anymore.

I may be deluding myself, but I honestly think, if I had made and maintained dramatic lifestyle changes around 400lb., I could have avoided some of my issues while still gaining, albeit at a much slower pace. Things I might have done differently:

- Walk and move my body much more, maybe even lifted some weights
- Made my most massive stuffings (20K to 30K calories) a special event every couple of months instead of a weekly occurrence. God knows my fiance and I would have more money on our honeymoon fund.
- Eaten a surplus of healthy calories every day instead of existing off pizza, fried food, pasta, pies, etc

I truly believe if I had taken the steps above, the impact my gain had on my health might have been lessened. These might be options for you.

To be clear, I don't regret getting this fat. I wish I had the option of getting bigger. And I actually don't regret the stuffing experiences I had either. They were damn hot, and I fantasize about them all the time. What *wasn't* fun was having heart surgery, struggling with access to medical care because of my size, and scaring the shit out of my fiance, who blamed himself, from his point of view, for letting our fetish reach an extreme that could have killed me. It's absolutely NOT his fault. He's dominant when it comes to sexy times, but I'm actually more likely to push my body past signs of distress when stuffing. Every pound and calorie was 100% because I wanted it. We're still working through his misplaced guilt

I said all that not to discourage you, but to say I think it's smart you're paying attention to your body's warning signs. I don't think you have to stop gaining, but keep your body moving. Drink water. Eat plenty of healthy foods to get to your calorie surplus, and make the fast foods or stuffings, if you're into that, a special treat to spur on your gain.

Very best of luck to you

Anything can be an individual serving if you try hard enough!!

Stahp it!! You're making me crave a Taco Bell stuffing, and I can't do that tonight. LOL.

I LOVE Diablo sauce! I don't even think it's all that hot. Then again, I haven't found many things that are too hot for me, so there's that!