GrowingLoveHandles
I hope I've never made anyone feel this way. If so, I am sorry.
To say I did not intend to hurt anyone is no excuse.
…
And yeah, in fantasy, that's okay. But I'm a real human here. I am enough, no matter what anyone says.
That’s partially why I’m posting this because I think the majority of the time people don’t intend to make you feel bad.
It does need some awareness tho because it happens all the time to me. It seems to be the only narrative, which also gets a bit boring honestly.
Maybe it’s because I’m a bit praise based aswell. I respond more to “look how fat you’ve gotten for me” than “get fatter for me”
But yeh you’ve said it right there. We’re humans behind all this
3 months
I think there’s such nuance in dom/sub dynamics it would depend on what that looks like to you and your sub. Communication is key.
Like personally, most of the time I like a soft dom who is going to encourage and “hint” at punishment should I not obey or become a little “bratty”. I am also into a little forcefulness sometimes and humiliation, but in those cases aftercare is important (online aswell as irl) where there is a connection to avoid feeling used or experiencing “sub drop”
So best advice, discuss boundaries and turn ons/offs/safe words before you engage and it can be the safest and most fun place to be 😉
3 months
Bit of a rant, because I’m exhausted with this.
Maybe it’s just me and my unique situation, but I can’t be the only fantasy feedee/fat girl who isn’t actively gaining to exist in this community? Someone who enjoys this space to be teased as they are now and not for a “potential”?
I’ve touched on this before but it’s all I’m getting at the moment. It’s driving me nuts.
“You look good but you’re too small”
“You must have felt sexier when you were bigger”
“I wish you’d go back to that size again”
“You’d look so much better bigger”
The list goes on.
It’s the equivalent of a “normal” girl being told she’d be so much better if she was thinner and you’d be gutted if she put on any weight.
It’s so triggering for me - it’s saying “you’re not good enough” too fat for society, too thin for my kink. It’s absolutely exhausting.
Yes for those gaining it’s different. And for me in role play or something getting temporarily bigger where I would indulge in the fantasy - fine. But the incessant “you’re not enough, bigger, fatter = better and more worthy” and it’s chasing a never ending, unobtainable goal.
It’s the main reason I end up taking breaks from these spaces because it’s so exhausting - never being enough.
Does anyone feel the same? Surely this isn’t exclusively to me and my situation?
3 months
Fatgirlbelly:
This is it, isn’t it? it’s finding what works for you and ultimately what you can and can’t compromise on and what you need to live a happy life while sustaining healthy relationships.
I would take some occasionally belly rubs as a starting point 😫
JN_TumLover56:
Absolutely. And sure it’s going to be different from one person to the next for who you date and end up being in a relationship with. However there are some things that someone should be able to accept certain things and interests about yourself, take my interests for bellies for an example.
If they are willing to accept that from you then that’s great! If not then it’s a potential dealbreaker.
I do wish I hadn’t repressed and ignored those feelings for so long. I think in my 20s I didn’t know what the hell I wanted and I never expected I could be in a place where I accept this side of myself and even explore it with a partner.
I never had a discussion of any sort when I got with my now husband about likes or dislikes. That’s on both of us I suppose.
Now I’m 40 I know myself so much more, and know what I need to be truly happy in a relationship. Whether that can evolve in my relationship or have that side of me be met elsewhere somehow without it causing issues within the marriage remains to be seen.
Right now I feel a bit lost with it all!
3 months
It’s interesting people mention Violet Beauregarde and other characters in childhood as the cause, but I would frame it as the media that made may people realise they were wired this way. Earliest memories I have were being fascinated by bigger bellies, stuffing pillows up my shirts etc.I think it’s always been there from the beginning
3 months
Fatgirlbelly:
Ok so as someone who’s been on a GLP-1 for a year, it isn’t what the media makes it out to be.
And before anyone comes for me…
If you’ve seen my profile you’ll know I’ve lost 50lbs and I had to for health reasons. I’m still big, I’m 210lbs. And on the highest dose I’ve fluctuated between 210-215 for months.
So it doesn’t magically make you lose weight. But what it has done for me is help regulate my PCOS, fibromyalgia & pain. Even my skin is better. So a GLP 1 is only as good for weight loss as you’re willing to put into it. The health problems that come with it are people being idiots and losing weight too quickly.
So will fatness disappear as a result of GLP-1s? Almost certainly not. In the same vein that gyms exist - governments haven’t forced us all to go to get “fitter”. Also, gyms and glp1’s are not suitable for everyone.
I hope this adds a bit of balanced context
JN_TumLover56:
Hey you won’t get any judgements from me because I’ve always appreciate your well-thought posts and opinions. And honestly it’s nice to hear from the perspective of someone who’s looking after their wellbeing. I mean THIS is the nuance that I am looking for!
However as for governments, I have heard about the Metabo Law in Japan where there’s a mandatory waistline measurement to keep their obesity rates low. While I don’t think there’s a penalty, I’ve heard some people may or may not be giving a hard time to get them the consultation to lose weight. Here’s hoping that something “strict” like this doesn’t end up taking over western society.
Thank you! I appreciate that. I want to be as open as possible and hope that helps others who may be struggling with conflict too because for a long time, I felt ashamed that I wasn’t being authentic in this space, and although it’s “fantasy” feeder, I think its important we can incorporate it as healthily for our minds and bodies as we can. That way we can enjoy it in a more fulfilling way.
As for the future, I can’t see there being a disappearing act of bigger people without big changes being made in our society. I suppose time will tell
3 months
Ok so as someone who’s been on a GLP-1 for a year, it isn’t what the media makes it out to be.
And before anyone comes for me…
If you’ve seen my profile you’ll know I’ve lost 50lbs and I had to for health reasons. I’m still big, I’m 210lbs. And on the highest dose I’ve fluctuated between 210-215 for months.
So it doesn’t magically make you lose weight. But what it has done for me is help regulate my PCOS, fibromyalgia & pain. Even my skin is better. So a GLP 1 is only as good for weight loss as you’re willing to put into it. The health problems that come with it are people being idiots and losing weight too quickly.
So will fatness disappear as a result of GLP-1s? Almost certainly not. In the same vein that gyms exist - governments haven’t forced us all to go to get “fitter”. Also, gyms and glp1’s are not suitable for everyone.
I hope this adds a bit of balanced context
3 months
JN_TumLover56:
So here’s my insight based on personal experience with this particular topic.
I have had an interest with bigger ladies since I was in my preteens in which was also the time that I first discovered the Feedism kink as well (but a bit slightly later). There was something that was very erotic about chubbier bellies and deep belly buttons, especially with the fact that there is a thing that some people would actually want to make themselves bigger to achieve such a thing? That lowkey got me hooked into it.
Now I don’t really ever engage with the kink of feeding and weight gain in my dating life anymore as I used to, due to some bad experiences that almost ruined a past relationship of mine (and even within the community itself). Unless of course the potential partner of mine is actually into Feedism as well, really the only thing how it would work. Plus I also have learned the reality that not all bigger people are the biggest eaters as what’s depicted in media and fetish content. However though with my interest in bellies - that’s not changed.
In my dating life now I do bring Feedism up whenever a dater and I talked about sexual interests. But that’s basically it, ultimately it’s up to her if she wants to practice or invest in the weight gain kink. Even if she doesn’t want to do that, I am personally more than happy to embrace her current body/size right now and find other ways to please each other! Even if this means lots and lots of belly rubbing and love!
This is it, isn’t it? it’s finding what works for you and ultimately what you can and can’t compromise on and what you need to live a happy life while sustaining healthy relationships.
I would take some occasionally belly rubs as a starting point 😫
3 months
Arne The Viking:
…That which is rare is considered precious. We are unicorns.
I love that. And I will treasure the connection we had as such
3 months
SqueeGee:
To the OP - Wishing you all the best as you navigate this! It sounds like you are on to something when you say perhaps there are other, deeper issues outside the kink.[/quote]
Thank you 🙂
And I hope you find some comfort too
3 months
