This is impressive. I am impressed.

I suspect that these things work the best with subtle hints. It's a sort of dance - you start with something very subtle and perhaps playful that's ambiguous enough to be explained away in an innocent manner if she is not into it, but that would pique her interest if she is. If she responds in a way that seems encouraging, you can reply with something very slightly less subtle, and then keep going from there.

No, not at all: it was quite unrelated.

To be fair, I don't think (from the context) that the person meant it as an insult, rather as an observation.

A year or two ago, I was talking to somebody from this community who remarked that I was pretty vanilla, for someone from this community at least.

Sadly, we stopped talking shortly afterwards and I never got the chance to ask her quite what she meant.

I have been pondering, on and off, ever since quite what it might mean to be "vanilla" in this community.

None of us can help what we find attractive, of course; if we could, I imagine that most of us would probably choose something less complicated than others (my own preference) or ourselves putting on weight. Looking at the Jar of Kinks: Feederism Edition, of the 29(!) categories, I only have a significant interest in about 3 of them ("tight clothes", "uncomfortably full" and "belly rubs".

There is a whole lot of stuff in there that does nothing for me (air inflation, clothes padding, immobility as just some examples) and some things that I did not even know were a thing until the "jar of kinks" graphics started appearing ("ex-athlete" is its own thing?).

There also seems to be a strong tendency among many in this community to a domination/submission dynamic, which is not really my cup of tea; for my own part, I am attracted to strong, confident, independent women, but am not into being dominated myself; I prefer a relationship of equals.

But at the same time, I find an attractive woman gaining weight through overindulgence extremely alluring; there is something exquisitely erotic about someone whose hedonistic overeating means that she can't do up the button on her jeans even if she lies on her back and sucks her tummy in as far as it will go, that her wobbly flesh oozes out of the dresses that she can barely zip herself into and who binges to the point where she feels sick and can barely move, but is simultaneously filled with rapturous ecstasy, quivering with erotic pleasure at the lightest touches to her almost unimaginably engorged tummy. Pushing and testing boundaries - of overeating and of how much fat that her clothes can contain - is like nothing else on earth. The more pleasure that she gets - and expresses - from this the more that I am aroused. Just writing the above description was arousing.

Is this vanilla? To me, that is so much more erotic - and intense - than some of the things on the "jar of kinks" list such as messy eating or burping, which seem tedious by contrast (I don't mean to be unkind to those who are into these things; we all have our own preferences, of course).

For me, the woman in question does not have to put on an enormous amount of weight, gain weight very quickly or be very large for it to be alluring (although some of the women here who have put on a large amount of weight can in fact be very sexy indeed: LilRascl, I am looking at you); relatively slow gains or reaching a potbellied plateau of overindulged voluptuousness with occasional all-out binges and attempts to squeeze her amazingly overfed figure into clothes several sizes too small can be amazing, too.

I wonder whether sometimes I give the impression of being more vanilla than I am by being somewhat reserved in private conversations, which comes largely from caution about being too forward about anything that I cannot be confident that the person to whom I am talking would be comfortable talking about; but it is hard to calibrate quite where to draw the line in these cases, and I am sure that I have misjudged it in both directions in the past.

I should be interested to know what others think of this.

There is nothing wrong with people engaging in commercial transactions if both parties wish to do so - free trade is a fundamentally important right; but it is a problem when people who wish to engage in commercial transactions are mixed up with people who do not: this results both in people being pestered to engage in commerce (sometimes fraudulently) when they have no desire so to engage, and also making it much more difficult for people searching for non-commercial connexions to find suitable people because of the large number of people who are solely interested in commercial transactions.

It really would be better for websites on which such transactions are commonplace to make it easy for people to indicate whether they are willing to engage in such transactions and for those who are not to filter out all those who are, as well as for those seeking out commerce to be able to limit themselves to those who are genuinely willing to engage in it.

Why should this be remarkable? The function of this site is not limited to larger women or those who want to gain weight: it includes women who want to see others gain weight, and there is no reason that it should not include those who like to overeat occasionally but not gain weight from it.

We all have different tastes, and there is no reason that one place cannot accommodate several of them.

I remember that name. That is very sad.

Cake!

How splendid!