Fantasy Feeder

What are feeders looking for

Chubby Fatboy Blob:
Ive just been at this for a while with no luck and ive run out of ideas and at my wits end

This is sadly not specific to feedism. You are gonna run into time wasters. It doesn't matter who you are. It will happen. Heck, most people you run into won't be around for a long time.

My advice? Go slow. Don't give someone your devotion until they've earned out. Get to know a person before you deem them worthy of your efforts.

2 years

Munchies

Finding comfortable pants?

Spoop Skerry:
PS: is crotch a dirty word?

Munchies:
Sir, this is a fetish site.

Spoop Skerry:
I just meant in general, everyday use. I'm not gonna get banned for it, I know.

I know. I just had to do it to you, lol.

Imo, while crotch isn't a dirty word, it isn't one to be used it polite or professional company.

2 years

Munchies

Feeder or feedee?

Bismarck1889:
For sure, and thanks for the advice. Insecurity doesn't have to mean you think your not good looking or anything, in my personal experience it's mostly been from similar feelings to what you described, i.e. feeling like I'm "too skinny" at times. Obv though I don't want to put words in your mouth, so if those feelings weren't from a place of insecurity specifically that's totally understandable.

I am aware, but I really was too skinny. I was underweight, prone to getting sick, and wasn't very strong. The smallest size in women's pants were too big for me.

I was never anorexic, but people often thought I was until they saw me eat. It was that bad.

I will say that once I finally slowed my metabolism down (or maybe it slowed itself down) I stopped getting sick as much. I went from getting sick at least once every three months to about once a year.

I also could find clothes that fit me well (I hate belts), and finally got some strength.

2 years

Munchies

What are feeders looking for

Lol, you have no idea.

2 years

Munchies

What are feeders looking for

Nyarlep:
Your looking at things from an entirely wrong angle. People are people, not machines or pictures. A "feeder" isn't just a feeder, its another person whos probably looking for a relationship that at the bare minimum probably includes enjoying your company.

tldr; there is more to a relationship than sex

As a feeder with a feedee, I second this.

My feedee is an awkward and goofy man. He'll be the first to admit such. But he makes me happy and I can be vulnerable with him. There's a give and take to our relationship so neither is left wanting.

Meanwhile (and I am speaking a cishet woman) a lot of these so-called "serious feedees" I've run into are horny, desperate men. And that makes them do some ... interesting things. In no particular order, I have received:

A dick pic
An offer for their life insurance pay out
To take care of me in all aspects so I only have to feed them, domme them, and have their children
Many offers to bare their children
Offers to tend to them 24/7 while they get fat and lazy
Offers to physically abuse them
Offers to be their sub (I am strictly domme)

The list goes on.

If you want a feeder, focus on being a decent person and a good partner first and a feedee second.

My feedee didn't do anything special. We just chatted about this and that - most of it non-kink. But we clicked really well. So naturally, we pursued each other.

2 years

Munchies

Finding comfortable pants?

Spoop Skerry:
PS: is crotch a dirty word?

Sir, this is a fetish site.

2 years

Munchies

Feeder or feedee?

So, you can gain, but you don't have to be fat. This is an option you possess.

Also, I didn't feel insecure about my body. I was a good looking woman even when I was 115 lbs. It's more along the lines that I hated being bony and sickly.

2 years

Munchies

The social meaning of gaining

Duncan:
I am convinced that most of us males are attracted to fatter women because from the point of view of a caveman they are more susceptible to survive pregnancy and to feed a baby. I think there is a consensus on this idea, though I am talking about 80% of men having a preference for voluptuous females. I really think we are a lot. The threshold of "being too fat" might differ but the concept is the same: fatter is better.

Gomomo2173:
Evolutionarily / Caveman-brain speaking, we’re attracted to signs of *health* in potential mates: strength, symmetry, shine.

You’ll notice that all three of these characteristics have the potential to overlap with larger bodies…

Strength - they won’t be the first to starve to death or get sick when times are tough.

Symmetry - easier to notice on more prominent features (the same reason breasts have long been considered attractive).

Shine - to maintain healthy hair and skin, one must have consustent access to all the essential nutrients and vitamins.

So while this aesthetic bias / evolutionary instinct doesn’t always translate to “plump equals hot”, when we laid it out like this it’s easy to see why for some of us, it does.

As a generalization I will agree with this this.

2 years

Munchies

The social meaning of gaining

Munchies:
And what do you mean by traditional? Because there are entire cultures out there that expect the man to be fat and the woman to be slimmer. Usually, these are non-European cultures.

And where I live in the American South, a "traditional" involves a well fed man and a much smaller woman.

So "traditional" is cultural specific.

Duncan:
I noticed something similar in Russia…. So would this confirm that women don’t have a tendency to get fatter to seduce men, as I assume in my initial post?

No. It's exactly what I said earlier. People like what they like. And they have differing and complex reasons for liking what they like. You cannot codify it in such a grand and sweeping way.

Also, women getting fat to seduce men is a very shallow way to look at both men and women. It paints women getting fat as a way to please a man, and not for other reasons. And it paints men as horn dogs with no high reasoning. It's an insult to both genders really.

2 years

Munchies

The social meaning of gaining

Munchies:
This also assumes that cavewomen only existed to get fat and have babies. However, cavewomen were out and about doing hard labor for survival all the time.

You are trying to start a different debate. History is full of hard working women who accomplished in many cases more that what men could achieve. My point is that we are hardwired by our own evolution and many of our reactions are influenced by very deep instincts. We are a bunch clever animals after all.

Munchies:
I think it's much simpler than that. People like what they like for a variety of reasons. You can't codify it because everyone is unique. It's like how two people can like the same color or song for a variety of reasons.

Duncan:
I disagree with that. The fact that we are all different shouldn’t make us deny the trends and instincts that evolution gave to us. This argument is kind of political, I respect it but I think it is part of a different realm.

Lol! This is not even a different debate. I am not talking about the great women of history or even feminism. I am simply point out what it was like living as a caveperson based of scientific research.

So even if you wanted to go the "this is what we like because evolution" that doesn't even work.

2 years

Munchies