I feel like a broken record, but I will keep saying it over and over again: not all fat people are fat due to bad eating habits.

To the OP, a couple of questions:

1. As another mom-type, I'm with UpsandDowns. What's the rush to get married? I dated my husband for 7 years, on and off, before we got married. We've been married for 24 years, and it's still challenging. Don't rush.

2. Have you discussed your feelings about fat with her? Do you know hers?

3. If she never gained a pound, would you be happy with her for the rest of your life?

I think they'd all be worth asking yourself before you proceed. Whatever you decide, I hope it works out wonderfully and that you're very happy.

What a fab idea for a thread--thanks, Moreover!

When I feel fat, I feel expanded. I take up space, I extend towards you, I reach out and invite you to touch and share.

When I feel fat, I feel generous and generative and sensual and sexual. And fun.

I once had a dessert at someone's house that I haven't tried to make, but it was awesome...

You treat fillo pastry as you normally would, buttering in between every surface and on top and bottom. Cut into diamonds.

Cut turkish delight/lokhoum/any jelly candy into thin, thin slices. Lay a few in the center of the diamond. Cross the left and right corners over the middle, to cover the candy. Bake at high heat until brown and crispy.

The brilliance of the thing is the contrast of textures. The candy goes sticky and the pastry is crispy... YUMMMMMNESS.

One lover I had for many years used to wash me before certain more intimate acts... I was annoyed at first, but it became part of our foreplay. He would get a warm washcloth and wash where he intended to kiss, and once I wasn't insulted, it was great fun. Might be an easy way to overcome the worry?