Fantasy Feeder

How do i make myself take the plunge?

StrykerDog:
I'm 230 lbs at 5'2, so I'm pretty big already, but that was unintentional. I want to finally start gaining on purpose, but I'm nervous about it, mainly because of my loved ones being worried. How do I make myself take the plunge and just do it?

Can't force yourself to do anything. Either you want to or you don't. I'd make a list of reason for and against gaining to help you decide.

2 years

Munchies

To gain or not to gain?

Enas:
Okay so as a heads up, this is a serious issue for me, so I'd prefer if you'd take the time to think about what you wanna advise. Also, for the shake of transparency I'll try to be as honest as i can.
So i have a problem (or two) with feederism. Even tho I'm a very horny person and I'd really like to just be forcefed to immobility or something, i wanna do stuff in my life. Not because i wanna have a full life, but i see a lot of things in life that desperately need to be worked on and improved. I just can't ignore them. I have to do something to help, at least, fix them. But at the same time, my sexual need to do.... the things you can guess, is really strong and i just feel like i really need to do something about them as well. I'm in this state for over a year now, thinking that i can subsidize doing things for real with fantasizing. I don't think balancing these two is possible, since one has to steps completely on the other. (For example if i decides to gain, I'd love to go for something really extreme, close to or beyond immobility)
And on top of that I'd love to have a normal, romantic relationship where I care for my partner and i get cared for by her as well. In a mutual way. I feel like I really need all of these.
Do you have any advice? (if yes please try to describe your thought process fully)

Nothing wrong with leaving certain things in the fantasy realm. You see it all the time with fetishes that can't be realized.

Also, a healthy relationship is not ruled by sexual pleasures. It is a part of it, but it's not the only aspect. Even in a relationship where you and your partner have similar or compatible kinks, it's impossible to have a relationship last based completely on fetishes.

You gotta figure out what is important to you and why it is important - in all aspects of your life. This will take a good deal of introspection and maturation on your part to achieve.

2 years

Munchies

Self hatred / relationship issues advice

Solarflare43:
Thank you both for the meaningful responses. I've been too scared to talk about this in therapy this far, but I'm planning on getting a sex positive therapist to discuss with

I still think my girlfriend is incredibly beautiful, she has gorgeous features and a wonderful smile. I'm just starting to become less sexually attracted and it's only getting worse

It's strange, I feel like I could love an average partner if they started at a lower weight and I loved their personality, but when someone starts higher and loses its sooo depressing :'(

When I notice thinner wrists or more prominent bones it just makes me want to throw up and cry. Not because I find her disgusting, but because something inside of me is just "off" I guess.

So yes I will be working on it in therapy, trying to hold on as long as I can. If this doesn't work out I'm not sure what I will do.

My next relationship would likely have to be open or poly, but I'm trying to save this if I can. My partner has a magical quality that I fear I may never find again.

We share so many interests & friends, she's so easygoing and fun to be around, I don't want to lose her over sexual attraction

That's some pretty defeatist language. You are acting as if the relationship is already doomed to fail. If you have that expectation, then you will have that outcome. You need to change your mindset. Because if you think like this, you'll find yourself self-sabotaging.

2 years

Munchies

Self hatred / relationship issues advice

Solarflare43:
Hey ya'll,

I don't mean to be a downer but I've been incredibly depressed lately and had self harming thoughts because of my kinks.

I'm not ashamed of liking bigger women at all, but I am ashamed of being into weight gain & feederism. Furthermore I'm ashamed of how this has affected my life and relationships

If I'm dating a big girl I'm happy, if she's gaining weight, I'm even happier. But the moment my partners start to lose weight I become insanely depressed.

This has happened in a few relationships over the last decade, and I have learned over time that it is "MY" problem not theirs. I don't coerce anyone to remain at a higher weight, or make them feel bad for losing, but still there's a cold emptiness inside me, even if I love them as a person.

When I was younger and more immature I would get frustrated at my partners for losing weight and be petty or try and push food when I could. I now see how insanely wrong that was of me and haven't done it in years.

I know that this is objectivization and fetishization and is blatantly awful of me. I truly feel like I love my current partner no matter what, but the prospect of having only a thin lady for the rest of my life is disheartening at the least

Now it is more of a self hatred issue. My GF has lost 40 pounds and is still dropping. I've made a commitment to her and don't plan on leaving. But every time I notice her weight loss it kills me inside.

I'm not mad at her at all, and I'm proud of her for making healthy decisions. I'm happy she's enjoying benefits like her feet hurting less. Logical me knows its for the best

What I am mad at instead is myself. Every day now I dwell for hours on how awful of a person I must be to care about my partners weight loss. How evil I must be for objectivizing them like that, and wishing I could just be normal and be attracted to her for who she is inside regardless.

This has been a pattern in my life for a decade and I want to break it, whatever it takes

I just see no good way out and I would really appreciate any support or advice

Good on you for recognizing the problem.

If you aren't seeing a therapist, I'd recommend you look into seeing one.

Outside of that, I'd do some self reflecting to find out why you feel that way. Once you figure that out, you can overcome it.

I also encourage you to find other reasons besides your partner's size to find her attractive. That way, as she loses weight, you're attraction won't decrease. You'll just shift your focus.

2 years

Munchies

Do chubby guys just refuse to put themselves out there due to insecurity?

Flyingservice:
I have to say yes, it's been years since I've put myself out there since I put on some weight. In my mind, until I have a good physique again it's only a matter of time before a potential partner goes out and finds just that. And nobody wants to line up to be hurt so badly ever again. I've been told you have a great dad bod, except I'm not a dad so I find it actually insulting. I often wonder if the dad bod craze is actually a form of control, knowing most likely the guy in the relationship will be looked at as less attractive and it's a form of security. It doesn't make sense, when I was younger I was very heavy before losing l25lbs, and I've seen the some people around that used to torment me talk about how it's desirable now? No shots taken at anyone, just my two cents

If your partner cannot love you when you don't look like Adonis, then that is a shallow person.

You should put yourself out there. Even if the person doesn't have a fat fetish, a lot of people either find bigger people attractive or don't mind the physique so long as they vibe with the person.

As for the dad bod thing, certain body types fall in and out of fashion over time. You see it most visibly with women, but it happens to a lesser extent with me. Right now, so-called dad bods are in as a result of the body positivity movement.

As you've experienced, thicker guys used to be considered unattractive by the main stream. Lots of people have always loved thicker guys, but the main stream wasn't a fan. Men got inspired by bigger women embracing their size, so they did the same.

Of course, as you pointed out, it's a trend. Body types fall in and out of fashion all the time. This isn't even the first time the main stream considered dad bods attractive.

Just focus on loving yourself. There will always be people who love people that look like you no matter what'a trending.

2 years

Munchies

Do chubby guys just refuse to put themselves out there due to insecurity?

Spike:
We must live in different areas? I have noticed when males get thicker their confidence grows. My roommate was 180s when i met him and was 242lbs yesterday at his physical and thinks he is the HOTTEST man on the planet and flirts with anyone of any gender, and they in turn fall all over him. Like men will hit on him in front of me xD Im still spicy about that one but I think with the acceptance and popularization of "dad bods" and "bearded chubby men', in memes especially more males around these parts LOVE being thicker and are so so so so much more confident and out there.

It really depends.

There are (and have always been) very confident chubby men. And some cultures have a lot of love for thicker men. However, there are also a lot of chubby guys who think that things would be better if they were muscular or at least slimmer.

This all boils down to patriarchy. What makes a man manly depends on the culture, but men who don't measure up are made fun of. If the guy isn't secure in himself, he'll stop putting himself out there.

2 years

Munchies

How fat would you like to be?

Hedonistic_Purity:
You can grow faster than you can handle, too ❤️

Boundandfeed:
What do you mean by handle? How is this so?[/quote]

Hedonistic_Purity is a death feeder.

2 years

Munchies

Lifting to grow strong, not only fat

RyanLarratt:
Do any of you do this?

I decided I could only continue gaining if my knees and the rest of my body stopped 'complaining'.

First I thought on quitting gaining, but then lifting weights appeared as a solution... because I DO want to gain and get bigger/fatter, but I don't want knee pain and other cholateral damage.

So there you go. How do I get fat without my body screaming in pain? I also gain muscle underneath, preferentially a lot.

Thoughts on this? Experiences?

Munchies:
I used to do this when I was a gainer. This is how I discovered I'm very bad at being a gainer and more suited for muscle than fat.

My partner is a big guy, and he's recently started working out so his body can handle higher weights.

Gotta say, too many people are sleeping on the whole fat person at the gym thing. It's a turn on like no other.

RyanLarratt:
Nice to hear that! I believe it's like a big building - without a strong metal core, it will collapse soon. Good iron beams inside the concrete make the building stable.

As for the fat person in the gym being a turn on, how so? I got curious. Turn on for the other people in the gym?

Munchies:
It's a turn on for me, specifically. The tight gym cloths, the way his fat moves, all of it.

RyanLarratt:
I guess that a confident man can go to the gym being fat and get turned on by the looks in people's faces being disgusted by his fat. Don't you?

Um ... what?

When was the last time you went to a gym? That's not how gym culture works. Like, sure, you may encounter someone snotty, but that's rare. Most people are either minding their business or are super supportive.

In fact, some of the nicest people at the gym tend to be the super muscular gym bros. They give people tips and tricks for free. Even hype you up to keep pushing through.

There's no humiliation aspect to this. I simply think my partner looks sexy when he is working out.

2 years

Munchies

Thinking about gaining

Oct0:
I’ve been into fat people for a while now and have mainly thought just about feeding, however occasionally I have toyed with the idea of getting bigger. I’m a skinny guy and am starting to get more and more turned on by the idea of growing huge. One of the main things that is stopping me is thinking about how the people around me would react. If anyone could give an opinion or advice or just chat, it would be great. Thanks

AmandaD29:
You should definitely do what makes you happy and not worry about what other people think. That's the only way you're going to find peace with yourself.

Couldn't have said it better myself. Of course, there's nothing wrong about getting an outside perspective. However, not all voices should be listened to. You have to decide for yourself what is important and what is not.

2 years

Munchies

First breakup

Casually Walking:
I honestly don’t know how to feel right now

Not that long ago, the girl I’ve been dating for over a year and I broke up. It wasn’t bad, as a matter of fact, we decided to stay friends, but I’m a little, I don’t know, confused(?) on how to proceed

I want to date again, no one wants to die alone after all, but I don’t feel like it at all again (at least for the moment), and since I recently got laid off, I’ve just been staying in my room/house all day. I don’t feel down or depressed, but I feel deflated? I guess?

It might sound a bit dumb, specially coming from a 20-something year old, but I guess I just need figure it out

Break ups suck. Doesn't matter your age or how many you've had. The best thing to do is to mourn the relationship, learn and grow from the experience, and move on when you are ready.

2 years

Munchies