TheStoryteller:
Hey guys,

My current gf is the sexiest creature in all of existence. We’ve been dating close to 8 months and we’re pretty serious about it.

The thing is, I feel bad for not talking about my fetish explicitly.

She’s kinda chubby, and she doesn’t really like it.
She does appreciate me appreciating her body though, as she says it helps her feel better about it.
Since I touch her a lot in her chubbier areas, she tends to bring it up.

She’d be like - “you like touching my belly, don’t you?”

And I’d get a little embarrassed for being called out. I told her I’m into chubby women and men, and she obviously feels it, and I don’t mind that at all.

I do, however, feel bad about the WG fetish. Liking her belly is one thing, but getting hot and bothered by her recent gain is a different story that’s a lot harder to explain.

I know she doesn’t want to get any fatter. She doesn’t like the feel of it and it’s also bad for her career. I don’t really want her to gain, tbh, because I know it upsets her.

I don’t want her under the impression that I’d like her to do something she doesn’t want to, or that I’ve been trying to get her to gain on purpose. Since she hates cooking I cook most of the time, so I do have influence on her diet in a certain sense, but I swear to god if it wasn’t for me she’d be eating a lot worse.

I feel bad for not disclosing my fetish, but I also kinda don’t wanna talk about it. Is it wrong?

If you guys have any insight you can share from your experience, I’d love to hear it.
Thanks

Solarflare43:
I agree with you guys, thanks for the input.

I've been a bad mental place lately, my gf has been really stressed too and we haven't gotten to see each other much for weeks.

I got to see her last night and I realized how incredibly much I would miss her if she was out of my life. I would much rather have an average or petite her than no her at all

I've just been stressed and allowing myself to spiral in negative thoughts, but it is already getting better and I have a therapist appointment lined up soon

I think part of my healing will involve me giving up sites like this, but I am truly thankful for the wonderful and helpful people I've met here.

Thanks again!

StrykerDog:
I'm 230 lbs at 5'2, so I'm pretty big already, but that was unintentional. I want to finally start gaining on purpose, but I'm nervous about it, mainly because of my loved ones being worried. How do I make myself take the plunge and just do it?

Enas:
Okay so as a heads up, this is a serious issue for me, so I'd prefer if you'd take the time to think about what you wanna advise. Also, for the shake of transparency I'll try to be as honest as i can.
So i have a problem (or two) with feederism. Even tho I'm a very horny person and I'd really like to just be forcefed to immobility or something, i wanna do stuff in my life. Not because i wanna have a full life, but i see a lot of things in life that desperately need to be worked on and improved. I just can't ignore them. I have to do something to help, at least, fix them. But at the same time, my sexual need to do.... the things you can guess, is really strong and i just feel like i really need to do something about them as well. I'm in this state for over a year now, thinking that i can subsidize doing things for real with fantasizing. I don't think balancing these two is possible, since one has to steps completely on the other. (For example if i decides to gain, I'd love to go for something really extreme, close to or beyond immobility)
And on top of that I'd love to have a normal, romantic relationship where I care for my partner and i get cared for by her as well. In a mutual way. I feel like I really need all of these.
Do you have any advice? (if yes please try to describe your thought process fully)

Solarflare43:
Thank you both for the meaningful responses. I've been too scared to talk about this in therapy this far, but I'm planning on getting a sex positive therapist to discuss with

I still think my girlfriend is incredibly beautiful, she has gorgeous features and a wonderful smile. I'm just starting to become less sexually attracted and it's only getting worse

It's strange, I feel like I could love an average partner if they started at a lower weight and I loved their personality, but when someone starts higher and loses its sooo depressing :'(

When I notice thinner wrists or more prominent bones it just makes me want to throw up and cry. Not because I find her disgusting, but because something inside of me is just "off" I guess.

So yes I will be working on it in therapy, trying to hold on as long as I can. If this doesn't work out I'm not sure what I will do.

My next relationship would likely have to be open or poly, but I'm trying to save this if I can. My partner has a magical quality that I fear I may never find again.

We share so many interests & friends, she's so easygoing and fun to be around, I don't want to lose her over sexual attraction

Solarflare43:
Hey ya'll,

I don't mean to be a downer but I've been incredibly depressed lately and had self harming thoughts because of my kinks.

I'm not ashamed of liking bigger women at all, but I am ashamed of being into weight gain & feederism. Furthermore I'm ashamed of how this has affected my life and relationships

If I'm dating a big girl I'm happy, if she's gaining weight, I'm even happier. But the moment my partners start to lose weight I become insanely depressed.

This has happened in a few relationships over the last decade, and I have learned over time that it is "MY" problem not theirs. I don't coerce anyone to remain at a higher weight, or make them feel bad for losing, but still there's a cold emptiness inside me, even if I love them as a person.

When I was younger and more immature I would get frustrated at my partners for losing weight and be petty or try and push food when I could. I now see how insanely wrong that was of me and haven't done it in years.

I know that this is objectivization and fetishization and is blatantly awful of me. I truly feel like I love my current partner no matter what, but the prospect of having only a thin lady for the rest of my life is disheartening at the least

Now it is more of a self hatred issue. My GF has lost 40 pounds and is still dropping. I've made a commitment to her and don't plan on leaving. But every time I notice her weight loss it kills me inside.

I'm not mad at her at all, and I'm proud of her for making healthy decisions. I'm happy she's enjoying benefits like her feet hurting less. Logical me knows its for the best

What I am mad at instead is myself. Every day now I dwell for hours on how awful of a person I must be to care about my partners weight loss. How evil I must be for objectivizing them like that, and wishing I could just be normal and be attracted to her for who she is inside regardless.

This has been a pattern in my life for a decade and I want to break it, whatever it takes

I just see no good way out and I would really appreciate any support or advice

Flyingservice:
I have to say yes, it's been years since I've put myself out there since I put on some weight. In my mind, until I have a good physique again it's only a matter of time before a potential partner goes out and finds just that. And nobody wants to line up to be hurt so badly ever again. I've been told you have a great dad bod, except I'm not a dad so I find it actually insulting. I often wonder if the dad bod craze is actually a form of control, knowing most likely the guy in the relationship will be looked at as less attractive and it's a form of security. It doesn't make sense, when I was younger I was very heavy before losing l25lbs, and I've seen the some people around that used to torment me talk about how it's desirable now? No shots taken at anyone, just my two cents

Spike:
We must live in different areas? I have noticed when males get thicker their confidence grows. My roommate was 180s when i met him and was 242lbs yesterday at his physical and thinks he is the HOTTEST man on the planet and flirts with anyone of any gender, and they in turn fall all over him. Like men will hit on him in front of me xD Im still spicy about that one but I think with the acceptance and popularization of "dad bods" and "bearded chubby men', in memes especially more males around these parts LOVE being thicker and are so so so so much more confident and out there.

RyanLarratt:
Do any of you do this?

I decided I could only continue gaining if my knees and the rest of my body stopped 'complaining'.

First I thought on quitting gaining, but then lifting weights appeared as a solution... because I DO want to gain and get bigger/fatter, but I don't want knee pain and other cholateral damage.

So there you go. How do I get fat without my body screaming in pain? I also gain muscle underneath, preferentially a lot.

Thoughts on this? Experiences?

Munchies:
I used to do this when I was a gainer. This is how I discovered I'm very bad at being a gainer and more suited for muscle than fat.

My partner is a big guy, and he's recently started working out so his body can handle higher weights.

Gotta say, too many people are sleeping on the whole fat person at the gym thing. It's a turn on like no other.

RyanLarratt:
Nice to hear that! I believe it's like a big building - without a strong metal core, it will collapse soon. Good iron beams inside the concrete make the building stable.

As for the fat person in the gym being a turn on, how so? I got curious. Turn on for the other people in the gym?

Munchies:
It's a turn on for me, specifically. The tight gym cloths, the way his fat moves, all of it.

RyanLarratt:
I guess that a confident man can go to the gym being fat and get turned on by the looks in people's faces being disgusted by his fat. Don't you?