Fantasy Feeder

Soft feedism suggestions

Milhause:
My spouse knows I’m a FA/feeder but doesn’t share the kink which is fine. She doesn’t gain intentionally but she does eat whatever she wants and has always been overweight.

Up til now the most she’s indulged is some belly play but only when we’re intimate. She mentioned the other day she’d be open to trying some lighter stuff but my brain froze in the moment when she asked for suggestions.

What are some softer feedism things I can float? I thought maybe suggesting clothes that are a size too small but she’s also slowly accepting her body and I don’t want to push anything too fast.

Making her a big breakfast in bed followed by belly rubs.

Body worship

Wearing clothes that show off her fat in private or the bedroom.

2 years

Munchies

Body dysmorphia

MartinChap:
Hi everyone,
I just got out of a session with my therapist. I've been talking to her about a fat fetish and trying to get a grip on it. I've always felt extremely conflicted with this fetish, never certain what to do about it - do I gain or lose or try to be muscular?
She was asking me about my confusions, and after some questions, she told me I probably have body dysmorphia.
I was a bit surprised, but I think it makes sense. I've always felt very unhappy with myself. I've known since about the age of 2 I want to be fat, but also felt extremely worried by people's opinions and judgments, notably those of my parents.
When watching films and television, I feel jealous of the men who are fit, tall, and gorgeous. I consider myself good-looking, but I also feel like I'm not good enough. Like I can do better and should feel bad for not being better.
My parents are very mean to fat people. I have some friends who have made it their business to tell me I should work out more so I can be more muscular. Being a very sensitive person, it really is no surprise I've developed this anxiety around my appearance.
My therapist is great and encouraged me to be kind to myself, something I don't tend to do! I'm hoping I can work through this situation and learn to feel more confident.

I am recovering from body dysmorphia. I'm not 100%, but I am soooo much better than I was.

I tend to see myself as smaller than I really am. I used to be underweight, and hated every minute of it. I would *obsess* about my weight to the point that it started to mirror an eating disorder.

The first step to recovery, for me, was weighing myself less. I'd weigh myself some days up to 10 times a day. I scaled it back to once after every meal, then once a day, once a week, and now I weight myself a few times a month now.

I also started to focus more on just enjoying my food and not obsessively trying to eat the most calorie laden thing. (I remember trying to drink oil. All it did was make me feel gross.) I even stopped obsessing over my exercise regime. I worked out as much as I chose to work out and not a rep more. And I only did the workouts that I decided to do.

I'm a lot happier than I used to be. I still have weird thoughts sometimes, but I can ignore them with ease. It took me a few years to get to this point, but if I can do it, so can you.

2 years

Munchies

Fat shamed

Morbidly A Beast:
Some people need to put others down to feel better I guess that’s what happens when you ruin your marriage with 5 kids from drinking.. all the sisters were gymnasts and my friend wrestled with me, all to this day are tiny I suppose there’s image issues there looking back at it.

I guess it makes sense when it’s agreed on, not much different than pet naming but to just be fat shamed like I was and get off on it, god bless ya more power to ya.

It's very gross. I've never been fat, but I've been fat shamed. I used to be underweight. When I put on 5 lbs and move to the low end of normal for my height, my family went OFF.

The weirdest part it is was 5 lbs of muscle, not fat. And I think I looked better for it.

Fat forward to today, and I'm even more muscular. I'm not shredded, so I have some curves as well (no belly, horny boys). Most would call me athletically thick. Yet I still get comments from family members about how I should "reduce" myself. These are, of course, the same family members that rely on my strength.

2 years

Munchies

Humiliate me

Jayvitro94:
Sounds amazing 😍 is see you me, a chair, some rope, a button up shirt so I can see that distended gut, and a safe word that I may or may not ignore in your future 🤷

Bro, the safe word is sacred. If you can't respect the safe word, then you shouldn't be doing anything that requires a safe word.

2 years

Munchies

Fat shamed

Frogman:
It’s an unfortunate reality that fat shaming is still considered acceptable by many people. I remember at a young age seeing one of my heavy classmates taunted at school; I thought people ganging up on him like that was cowardly and pathetic. We became good friends, and he turned out to be a gifted genius.

The first and only time I’ve been directly shamed for my weight was at my father’s funeral, of all places. It’s just not the kind of thing one easily forgets, because it’s so insanely insensitive and hurtful.

People can be cruel. It doesn't help that a lot of people think that fat shaming is ethical bullying. In their pea brains, if they fat shame someone, it will inspire them to "shape up". Which doesn't make any kind of sense.

2 years

Munchies

Fat shamed

Morbidly A Beast:
My friends mother and his little sister fat shamed me, we go back to grade school lol said I threw away my body and that I used to be so handsome asking why I got so fat I mean granted the last time I saw them I was like 220 I’m now almost 400 I guess it’s kinda to be expected just wasn’t prepared for fat shaming first time I don’t know how people get off on fat shaming like this, I was just off put and embarrassed. I just kinda explained how I like food and stopped working out, she said clearly! He just pressed on not saying anything

I'm sorry, love. You didn't deserve that.

I think that, for most people, they enjoy it from an intimate partner that they know loves their body. When it comes from someone else that doesn't feel the same way, it hits different.

Of course, there are people who get off on fat shaming even though the other person means what they say. And for those, there's a bit of a thrill in rebelling against the status quo.

It's not for everyone.

2 years

Munchies

Empathy for your fellow feedists

Munchies:
I understand the desire to keep politics out of kink. A lot of people turn to kink for escapism.

But, for a lot of people, politics and feedism are intertwined. So it's a big ask to have people avoid politics when it comes to feedism - no matter what that person's politics are.

Tentacles:
In what ways does it intertwine with politics for you?

Munchies:
I frequently deal with a lot of misogyny and occasionally racism on this site. Fat people do face discrimination for their size - which is compounded by various intersectionalism. So, that's the biggest thing. But, there's also how patriarchy and societal norms influence this space as well. Not just for women but for all genders. I'm a domme feeder, so it's interesting how so many men on this site want to shrug off the burdens of hegemonic patriarchy so they can be emotionally vulnerable and taken care of.

Then there's the economic factor. This is an expensive kink. You must factor in food, clothing, medical care, etc. Then there's fatphobia in the medical industry. A lot of doctors will fixate on your "weight problem" instead of properly diagnosing you. There are horror stories for days on this site alone.

And on, and on the list goes.

Tentacles:
This seems like wider society being reflected in this community. While conservative types tend to stigmatise kinks it is obviously very different to being gay. On the topic of medicine I think the stigma may be even stronger in places like the UK where it may be perceived as wasting taxpayer money.[/quote]

Nothing exists in a vacuum. You can try to divorce your fetishes from reality, but the truth that the two are intertwined. And since you cannot escape the real world from influencing your kink, you can't really avoid politics. Even if you never talk about it, it's still a part of it.

2 years

Munchies

Do you like having diabetes?

VanessaPeru:
I’m 34 and I am diabetic for two years already and I feel like my body is being destroyed because I do not eat healthy food and the idea of suffering from all kinds of pains is really hot. Do you also enjoy being diabetic?

As a lifelong diabetic? That's a solid no. Frankly, I cannot, and do not, want to understand the appeal.

2 years

Munchies

Empathy for your fellow feedists

Munchies:
I understand the desire to keep politics out of kink. A lot of people turn to kink for escapism.

But, for a lot of people, politics and feedism are intertwined. So it's a big ask to have people avoid politics when it comes to feedism - no matter what that person's politics are.

Tentacles:
In what ways does it intertwine with politics for you?[/quote]

I frequently deal with a lot of misogyny and occasionally racism on this site. Fat people do face discrimination for their size - which is compounded by various intersectionalism. So, that's the biggest thing. But, there's also how patriarchy and societal norms influence this space as well. Not just for women but for all genders. I'm a domme feeder, so it's interesting how so many men on this site want to shrug off the burdens of hegemonic patriarchy so they can be emotionally vulnerable and taken care of.

Then there's the economic factor. This is an expensive kink. You must factor in food, clothing, medical care, etc. Then there's fatphobia in the medical industry. A lot of doctors will fixate on your "weight problem" instead of properly diagnosing you. There are horror stories for days on this site alone.

And on, and on the list goes.

2 years

Munchies

I told my wife i wouldn't mind if she gained weight

AlphaTitan1235:
To give full context, I do have a pregnancy fetish and a chubby belly fetish, and I've never hid that fact from my wife, although I've never admitted to the degree in which I have it. To be honest I'm still fairly shy about that topic due to some drama in the past. Well the topic came up a while back where my wife asked "What would you do if I gained like 300 pounds". To which I jokingly replied "Well I'd probably leave you, just kidding".

I was joking with her but I felt awkward cause I didn't know how to tell her I would possibly find that attractive, but I wouldn't want that for her cause I love her so much. And given the fact that she's 4'11" and weighs less than 100 pounds currently, I know that much weight would severely hurt her. And i could never let her do that.

Well, recently, due to being on this site, I got the courage to tell her how I felt. In that I actually would like if she got a little chubby, and that I was trying to play off her question when she asked before. I'm just nervous that because I told her this it may make her want to change for me, and I don't want that. Can any of you offer any advice on this cause I'm fairly torn on the matter. I love my wife, and I just want to make her happy.

Munchies:
If a woman ever says "Would you love me if ___?", the answer always yes. Doesn't matter what. 300 lbs heavier, a worm, a table, 300 lbs lighter, etc. The answer is yes. She's asking you this question because she feels insecure and wants you to reassure her.

Just have a heart to heart with her. Plainly tell her what you want.

AlphaTitan1235:
Lol well I don't agree with the always say yes part. That's actually one of the things she always loves is when I just give a direct answer. And I know that cause she tells me. But only reason this question was different for me is because of the sensitive nature of the topic.
And I have, like I said when I talked to her about it, that's why I'm struggling a bit with it. I overthink a lot and I'm worried I may have screwed up bringing it up. Although it's probably nothing knowing my luck.

Also I I appreciate the input! Kinda didn't know where else to come to with this particular problem.

Be it as it may, it's incredibly crappy to say "If you were 300 lbs, I would leave you" and not mean it. It's crappy to say no matter what, but it's even crappier if you don't mean it at all.

2 years

Munchies