The problem with ghosting on ff

BlackBriarMeadery:
I'm not sure if it's universal but I've noticed that plenty of people message me once or twice and then left me on read , but also constantly check my profile and like my pics.

Like no you aren't going to have access to my pics after you ghosted me. Lol

Anyone else experience this?


Pretty much everyone on this site gets ghosted.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

HanselsWitch:
Do we know each other? What exactly tells you I have a low view of men? I was simply stating that most men wouldn't want to deal with environment where they're walking on eggshells... which is more often than not the culture of "safe spaces." Not because most men are bad, but because they don't want anything they say blown out of proportion or becoming a pile-on in the comments. Most women wouldn't want that either, but they're usually judged less harshly.

Munchies:
Read again, love. This entire thread is about what an idealized safe space would look like. Not about the merits of having a safe space or the pitfalls there-in.

Fantasy Feeder is a safe space for feedists. Regardless of how you feel about it, it is first and foremost a safe space. I don't see men leaving in droves because they feel like they are walking on eggshells.

If anything, there other genders on here that feel like they are in hostile territory because of certain behaviors are being left unchecked.

I am very aware you can overcorrect and become an insular, regressive group. But again, that is not the point of the thread at all. In fact, the majority of people on here are just asking for basic level protections. So I find it curious that you think this would inconvience the average man.

I also find it curious about you saying that women who's views are not in line with the majority of the group. The women would not be wanted in this safe would be racists, homophobes, transphobes, xenophobes, etc. You know, the kind of people who seek to exclude the very people who want this safe space.

HanselsWitch:
Are you hinting that I must belong in the "undesirables" category because I'm challenging the feasibility of a completely "safe space?" This is exactly the behavior I'm referring to when I say most people wouldn't want to deal with being scrutinized.

Of course hate speech should never be tolerated. If that's the only thing you're trying to eliminate, it doesn't seem to be much of a problem on here (then again I don't comb every forum looking for it). So if FF is already a safe space as you say, what's the point of this discussion?

Also, who's seeking to exclude people based on race or gender? Has that happened on FF, or are we just trying to solve an imaginary problem?


I have hinted at nothing. If I thought you were a bigot, I would say so. I am simply questioning your premice and subsequent logic.

And yes, hate speech is in the forums. And in chat. I've been subjected to it myself more than once. But I am a far more active user than you, so I see more things than you.

Hate speech is part of it. There's also sexual harrassment, disrespect for boundaries, and a general lack of basic human decency. You know, the stuff you learn in pre-school or kindergarten.

No one is expecting the average joe to have a perfect understanding of gender theory or CRT. Instead, people just want people to be decent.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

HanselsWitch:
Do we know each other? What exactly tells you I have a low view of men? I was simply stating that most men wouldn't want to deal with environment where they're walking on eggshells... which is more often than not the culture of "safe spaces." Not because most men are bad, but because they don't want anything they say blown out of proportion or becoming a pile-on in the comments. Most women wouldn't want that either, but they're usually judged less harshly.


Read again, love. This entire thread is about what an idealized safe space would look like. Not about the merits of having a safe space or the pitfalls there-in.

Fantasy Feeder is a safe space for feedists. Regardless of how you feel about it, it is first and foremost a safe space. I don't see men leaving in droves because they feel like they are walking on eggshells.

If anything, there other genders on here that feel like they are in hostile territory because of certain behaviors are being left unchecked.

I am very aware you can overcorrect and become an insular, regressive group. But again, that is not the point of the thread at all. In fact, the majority of people on here are just asking for basic level protections. So I find it curious that you think this would inconvience the average man.

I also find it curious about you saying that women who's views are not in line with the majority of the group. The women would not be wanted in this safe would be racists, homophobes, transphobes, xenophobes, etc. You know, the kind of people who seek to exclude the very people who want this safe space.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

HanselsWitch:
So if it's a question of eliminating men (and women who don't share your ideology), that sounds like more of a smaller group message board. Maybe within a larger kink site. I mean... look at the history of kink. The only reason it's been half-way normalized is because of men's desire for access. Unless it's a site strictly for the female-attracted, keeping men (the lifeblood to kink sites) out is a surefire way for it to fail.

Munchies:
Only one user was pro-no men. And everyone clowned on them.

And the thread was all about safe spaces. Across the board the only request was to be treated with respect. So unless you are rascist, xenophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, etc. none of this applies to you.

Also I don't think anyone is looking for things to be normalized in a safe-space. It's nice if it is, but it's not a priority.

HanselsWitch:
What I meant by "normalized" was that forums like FF exist at all. Without men, those spaces die. I doubt most men would last in a space where they'll be ousted at the slightest whiff of "problematic" behavior.

I suppose people could dream all day about a place where their ideas are never challenged and nobody says anything that offends them, but it simply will never exist in the real world.


You should give men more credit. Most men are decent people. Most men are not going to sexually harrass people or be openly bigotted. It is the percentage of men that *WILL* do that is why there's a problem.

It becomes an even bigger problem when there is a culture of bigotry. So, that's what people are talking about. It's a little sad that you have such a low view of people in general - especially men.
2 years

For women, femme, and non-binary/gnc friends: what would a safe fa space look like to you?

HanselsWitch:
So if it's a question of eliminating men (and women who don't share your ideology), that sounds like more of a smaller group message board. Maybe within a larger kink site. I mean... look at the history of kink. The only reason it's been half-way normalized is because of men's desire for access. Unless it's a site strictly for the female-attracted, keeping men (the lifeblood to kink sites) out is a surefire way for it to fail.


Only one user was pro-no men. And everyone clowned on them.

And the thread was all about safe spaces. Across the board the only request was to be treated with respect. So unless you are rascist, xenophobic, transphobic, xenophobic, etc. none of this applies to you.

Also I don't think anyone is looking for things to be normalized in a safe-space. It's nice if it is, but it's not a priority.
2 years

Empowering yourself as an overweight person.

FatDave:
One of the things I love doing is finding examples of those on the bigger side who are not your typical "overweight people."

Sumo wrestling, for example. They're big people, but they're athletic, put in work to get their bodies to function a certain way, and just so happen to be overweight by standard definitions.

What are some ways you practice fat empowerment?


What you are talking about is body composition. These people *are* fat, but they are also muscular.

I'm clinically overweight, but that's due to being muscular. As such, I look like I should be lighter than I really am.

I am curious about the term "fat empowerment". What do you mean by that?
2 years

Is murual gaining kinda taboo

Bbwomg:
I notice that mutual gaining in general is very divisive, some people love it, some are open to it, for others its a flatout no, whats everyones opinion on the matter?

Munchies:
I'm not against it. It's just not for me. I like my body as is.

But I do understand the appeal. There's something romantic about getting fat together.

Bbwomg:
For having such an out there fetish i definitely do like my romance 🤣


Pfft. Out there? My guy, you must not be on the internet very much.

Feedism, at it'a core, it pretty tame. Taboo, but tame.
2 years

Is murual gaining kinda taboo

Bbwomg:
I notice that mutual gaining in general is very divisive, some people love it, some are open to it, for others its a flatout no, whats everyones opinion on the matter?


I'm not against it. It's just not for me. I like my body as is.

But I do understand the appeal. There's something romantic about getting fat together.
2 years

Coping with medical professionals suggesting weight loss or hospitalization.

BlackjackandBerries:
I was wondering how bigger people cope with mental health or medical professionals feigning concern & bringing up weight gain. I have had social workers/doctors/friends/etc, point out my "round face" and my recent weight gain, and I'm downright insulted by it. What really upsets me is the fake concern and being treated like an incapable broken human.

How would you deal with a medical professional asking you "Would you like to see an ED clinic?"- even if you're fortunate enough to not have an ED? I've found reassuring them I'm OK and don't need that kind of help makes them push more and more. They would force me if they had reasonable suspicions and it feels like sometimes they want to force things.

I understand people being concerned and comments always come up as you gain, but how do you go about telling these people "I'm ok! This fat is healthy fat! I want to be fat! I'm not disordered."

Because saying that outright just makes me sound unhinged.

I am not a "fat" person just yet, but I consider myself between chubby and midsize and I intend to grow a little bigger slowly while remaining super active at the gym. I'm 170lbs, running or walking 5k's weekly and lifting a lot, yet I have been grilled by mental health professionals about an "ED" that doesn't exist.

Like I know it's because of a fatphobic society and women's bodies are constantly judged no matter what we do, but I want to be a bigger woman, and I am enjoying making myself like this. I am enjoying a balance not just for the sake of fat fetishism/feedism.

(In my particular situation these same mental health professionals in my life also were concerned with my gym habits and every single decision Ive made for myself was scrutinized in some way so it could just be where I am and who I work with causing this stress. )

Tldr: How do you cope with medical or mental health professionals being concerned with your weight gain?


Next time it happens say, "You are being very rude right now. I just like food, and I am happy with my body. So unless my weight is actively causing me problems, I don't want to here it."

Also, I find these people kinda insane. I work out every single day - sometimes more than once. I don't have an ED. I just like being active. I don't strain myself or push to the point of exhaustion. I'm not trying to lose weight either. It just makes me happy.
2 years

Who is open about their feederism?

Theimpatientfeeder:
I’m only a few days in on my journey as a gain, and plan to gain several hundred pounds. I was wondering about the people that have been open about being a feedee. Can you tell me your story? When you opened up to your friends and family how did they take it? I’d like to be open about it, but another part of me isn’t sure it’s a good idea to share.


Two of my siblings know, but only because we share everything. Some of my non-feedist friends know I am a feeder, but only because we have that kind relationship.

Everyone else? Never told them because it's frankly none of their business. The know I love cooking for people, that I prefer bigger guys, but not the fetish stuff.
2 years