Yeah, I guess the good thing about numbers is if you're heavier or your measurements have increased, you KNOW you're fatter. Visually apparent gains can be thrown off by camera angle, context, what pose you're using, and what you're wearing.

I can't see any point in telling her unless she's worried or confused about your behaviour.

Numbers are just a poor proxy for visible gain.

In the case of women on Feabie, the straight non-feedees greatly outnumber the bi and lesbian ones.

Among feedees, there are slightly MORE bi-sexual women than straight (789 to 781).

The percentage of lesbians in both groups is a little under 10%.

My own pet theory is that feedees are their own objects of attraction and so for a lot of them the sex of the partner doesn't matter so much.

I could do the same analysis for men on Feabie but I think most gay male feedists are on grommr which would throw the numbers off.

Worked for this woman: growingcurves.blogspot.com/

Yes, people switch pretty often.

As I child I had both feedee and feeder fantasies, but after puberty was feeder only.

I think there's more acceptance of diversity in general, or at least I hope so!

How about the pros and cons of NOT gaining?

Pro: Trendy and superficial people will like you better.

Con: Going through life and never living your dream.

I chatted with a woman with the same plan when she started gaining: she was careful to eat moderately in her children's presence. But since then she's gained a lot and built up her appetite so much that she needs to stuff herself when she eats, even in front of the kids.

Many feedees have to be careful they don't get too fat to take care of themselves.

You obviously have to be even more careful, since you have additional responsibilities.

As far as her being bullied for having a fat father...I wouldn't worry about that too much. But of course it is possible.

The main issue is: do you overeat in front of her or hide it? Hiding requires less explanation but can be hard to pull off.

Some feedees not only overeat in front of their children but allow their children to eat all the goodies they want. Their children tend to be really fat. I think this is messed up. People should be able to get fat if they want, but it's not a decision a child can make.

Some feeedees overeat in front of their children but make it clear that "the doughnuts are only for Daddy". This is doable, but may require some kind of explanation. You may be able to lump it in with other adult behaviors (like drinking and smoking) that adults can do but children can't.

In any event, I'd figure out the narrative you're going to use and get your wife on board before gaining any serious amount of weight.