Yeah ... I had an abusive childhood. I wouldn't blame society on this one. When I finally started to fill out more most people were pleased or indifferent. It was literally only my mom who was insane like this.

My mom used to be a professional model as a child before later enlisting into the military at 17. She was a vegetarian and extremely underweight. The military made her gain weight so she could go forward with her service.

The magic number they made her gain to? 115 lbs. For her height of 5'9", that was enough to put her on the BMI chart. She was that underweight. However, this was never explained to her. Or maybe it was, and she wasn't paying attention? I dunno.

Time passes. She gets married and has kids. Naturally, she puts on weight - especially once she's been discharged. Still, she wants to go from 5'9" and 170 lbs to 5'9" 115 lbs. Repeated explanations by her husband, friends, and family that this isn't healthy go ignored.

I take after my mother a lot. So much so that people would mistake us for each other when I was younger. So my mom projected her insecurities on me a lot. I had the body she wanted, and she couldn't understand why I wasn't happy.

I nearly developed an eating disorder. The only reason I didn't is that I am a diet controlled diabetic. Not eating consistently is scary and dangerous for people like me. But I do have body dysmorphia. It's nowhere near as bad as it used to be.

I am largely ok now.

Just be careful and don't overdo the oil/heavy cream. High triglycerides in the blood can cause a bevy of health issues. Also, too much fat can have a laxative effect.

If you go too hard for too long, you may not absorb things properly. This includes nutrients and medications.

Mayne, I ain't even bothering with chat until this issue is resolved.

I love my retinas too much.

So ... update.

I am now having all the issues OP is having.

On mobile, I still have dark mode. So there's that.

Also ... FF light mode is the ugliest thing I have ever seen. Who designed this? Why does the site look like this?

So ... if you want to get thicc, more power to you. But if you want to get with a WOC, you will need a *lot* more than a big backside.

Can't speak for the others, but the dropdown menu thing is a known error.

Hmmmm ... don't like that, beastie.

I have my own traumas. For example, I have abandonment issues. When my feedee and I first met, I had so much anxiety over him leaving me for whatever reason even though he always made me a priority. Even still, I made sure that it was *never* his problem.

Heck, he didn't even *know* about my abandonment issues until we'd been together for a couple of months.

My issues were never his problem. We talked about them. He helped me through them. But I went out of my way to make sure I didn't take my issues out on him.

Ah. This explains things.

I'd check the shake recipe thread in the food forum for options. Intend to use this link for gainer shake recipes:

fatboydiet.tumblr.com/GainerShakes

Some use heavy cream. Some don't. Have fun!

You should check him out. Really cool guy. Been around for decades, so there's lots of lore.

He's dating (and in some runs marries) Triplicate Girl. As the name implies, she can split herself into three people.

They even have kids at some point. Imagine their bedroom shenanigans.