Vent
Khatun:
Oh my, I am so tempted to vent! ('Pointing fingers' is not okay, is it?)
Oh my, I am so tempted to vent! ('Pointing fingers' is not okay, is it?)
I don't know what you are about to do. But yes, finger pointing is generally not helpful.
2 years
Discord server
Reflection Of Perfection:
God I hope that whole place proverbially burns to the ground. Then the ugly, (slur censored) , sociopaths that gatekeep there would have to find somewhere else to go where they'd have to behave like human beings....which they've never done in their entire lives🤣
Munchies:
Okay, but what if it turns out like the Great Tumblr Exodus of 2018, and they all come over here?
Reflection Of Perfection:
They won't. A lot of them know they wouldn't get away with half the shit they do there. Not to mention FF is much stricter with soliciting and scamming. The "message me for rates, links in bio, no free fat chat kthxbye" crowd wouldn't last 8 seconds and they know it. The rest would see themselves out when they start making demands that the mods will tell them to get lost over.
God I hope that whole place proverbially burns to the ground. Then the ugly, (slur censored) , sociopaths that gatekeep there would have to find somewhere else to go where they'd have to behave like human beings....which they've never done in their entire lives🤣
Munchies:
Okay, but what if it turns out like the Great Tumblr Exodus of 2018, and they all come over here?
Reflection Of Perfection:
They won't. A lot of them know they wouldn't get away with half the shit they do there. Not to mention FF is much stricter with soliciting and scamming. The "message me for rates, links in bio, no free fat chat kthxbye" crowd wouldn't last 8 seconds and they know it. The rest would see themselves out when they start making demands that the mods will tell them to get lost over.
Fair point.
2 years
Discord server
Reflection Of Perfection:
God I hope that whole place proverbially burns to the ground. Then the ugly, (slur censored) , sociopaths that gatekeep there would have to find somewhere else to go where they'd have to behave like human beings....which they've never done in their entire lives🤣
God I hope that whole place proverbially burns to the ground. Then the ugly, (slur censored) , sociopaths that gatekeep there would have to find somewhere else to go where they'd have to behave like human beings....which they've never done in their entire lives🤣
Okay, but what if it turns out like the Great Tumblr Exodus of 2018, and they all come over here?
2 years
Fattening boyfriend
Munchies:
Sounds like it won't be long before he hits 200 lbs. How big are you hoping he'll become?
Angy523:
I would say 220-230
Munchies:
As things are now, he'll be there by at least summer 2023. Maybe sooner.
Angy523:
If he keeps going like this, I agree. He started to eat more again.
I feel bad about something tho...when he was eating less I wasn't so turned on by him. Our sex life is much better now and I'm afraid that if he decides at some point to lose weight I won't be able to be the same during sex
Sounds like it won't be long before he hits 200 lbs. How big are you hoping he'll become?
Angy523:
I would say 220-230
Munchies:
As things are now, he'll be there by at least summer 2023. Maybe sooner.
Angy523:
If he keeps going like this, I agree. He started to eat more again.
I feel bad about something tho...when he was eating less I wasn't so turned on by him. Our sex life is much better now and I'm afraid that if he decides at some point to lose weight I won't be able to be the same during sex
If that happens, then you find other things about him that turn you on.
Long-term couples experiences varying levels of attraction to each other during the course of a relationship. The ones that keep a good sex life make it a priority to find reasons to be attracted to their partner.
2 years
The larger side - a rant on the irony and hypocrisy of fetishizing thinness while tabooing fat a
Nok:
The Larger Side - A Rant on the Irony and Hypocrisy of Fetishizing Thinness while Tabooing Fat Admiration
Being into fat women isn't a fetish.
Being into thin women is a fetish.
For millions of years, a fat female body has meant fertility, which, let's face it, is the core of sexuality every bit as much as fun is.
A thin female body, on the other hand, has (no offense) no biological reason to be attractive: it doesn't display the nutrition necessary to make baby brains, it doesn't feel good in bed, and, for most thin women, it also kind of sucks to inhabit... except, debatably, for the attention it gets from people that fetishize thinness.
And that's the crux of the problem: the only reasons to strive to be thin are: one, for that, frankly, deviant and nonsensical attention, and then the only reason for that attention is a novel and deviant modern cultural norm based largely around just how difficult and unnatural it is to be thin; and two, to avoid the negative social attention heaped on anyone that doesn't laud the cult of thinness or has the audacity to actually show in public a body that is larger than borderline anorexic.
It's even become adopted by the medical community itself, despite the dearth of actual evidence. Does excessive visceral abdominal fat have a correlation with some diseases? Yes, yes it does, and that's probably one of the reasons the waist-to-hip ratio is also relevant to instinctual physical attraction to a woman's body.
But there's grosse fallacies imbedded in the medical fear of fat, most prominently: that most fat is not unhealthy; that exercise and healthy foods have far more impact on health than body weight does; and, OF INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE, that the disease and damage (physical, psychological, social, etc.) caused to individuals and society over the last several decades of cultural bodysize dismorphia and the pursuit (read: fetishization) of female thinness, despite it being neither natural nor healthy, is probably LITERALLY INCALCULABLE (but, certainly, absurdly, obscenely, disgustingly, despicably vast).
The Larger Side - A Rant on the Irony and Hypocrisy of Fetishizing Thinness while Tabooing Fat Admiration
Being into fat women isn't a fetish.
Being into thin women is a fetish.
For millions of years, a fat female body has meant fertility, which, let's face it, is the core of sexuality every bit as much as fun is.
A thin female body, on the other hand, has (no offense) no biological reason to be attractive: it doesn't display the nutrition necessary to make baby brains, it doesn't feel good in bed, and, for most thin women, it also kind of sucks to inhabit... except, debatably, for the attention it gets from people that fetishize thinness.
And that's the crux of the problem: the only reasons to strive to be thin are: one, for that, frankly, deviant and nonsensical attention, and then the only reason for that attention is a novel and deviant modern cultural norm based largely around just how difficult and unnatural it is to be thin; and two, to avoid the negative social attention heaped on anyone that doesn't laud the cult of thinness or has the audacity to actually show in public a body that is larger than borderline anorexic.
It's even become adopted by the medical community itself, despite the dearth of actual evidence. Does excessive visceral abdominal fat have a correlation with some diseases? Yes, yes it does, and that's probably one of the reasons the waist-to-hip ratio is also relevant to instinctual physical attraction to a woman's body.
But there's grosse fallacies imbedded in the medical fear of fat, most prominently: that most fat is not unhealthy; that exercise and healthy foods have far more impact on health than body weight does; and, OF INCREDIBLE IMPORTANCE, that the disease and damage (physical, psychological, social, etc.) caused to individuals and society over the last several decades of cultural bodysize dismorphia and the pursuit (read: fetishization) of female thinness, despite it being neither natural nor healthy, is probably LITERALLY INCALCULABLE (but, certainly, absurdly, obscenely, disgustingly, despicably vast).
Wow. The misogyny is off the charts.
So, I am a buff woman. Neither fat nor thin. Which ... kinda puts me outside of your little binary, but maybe that will lend more credence to my words.
Being into fat women or thin women isn't inherently a fetish. But it is possible to have a fetish for either (or both). In fact, if you can think of it, there's a fetish for it. Kinda like Rule 34.
Also, women exist outside of our ability to procreate and provide sexual pleasure for men.
Women have existed in all shapes and sizes since the beginning of humanity. And as cultures evolve and change certain body types come into fashion.
Right now, there exist cultures that glorify thin women as well as fat women. Both come with their own flavors of toxicity, but it all boils down to one thing:
When society tells women "You must look like this", it creates a kind of violence. There's a pressure to achieve and maintain a certain look as well as punishment for those that don't.
Meanwhile, women's bodies are vilified, objectified, and scrutinized with disregard to the women that inhabit these bodies.
Look, man. Like what you like. If you like fat women, you like fat women. You certainly are in the right place for it. But don't be a prick. Idk what you are going through, but that's no excuse as to how you are acting.
2 years
Vent
Grimalkin999:
I’ve had such bad luck in the dating field that I’m starting to lose hope. I recently started talking to a guy who is a feedee and he lives only three hours away so I was happy we met. We called a few times and everything seemed really good at first, he’d say how happy and excited he was to have met me. But now he’s been super distant and leaves me on delivered for hours or even days. He says he’s just super busy which I can understand but I can’t help but think that’s not the reason because the same thing happened before with the last guy I talked to. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to get attached to him just in case he leaves but I also don’t want to lose something that might be good
Beni:
I kinda feel like the original purpose of this thread is getting lost in this discussion between Munchies and Neyu. I agree with munchies that neyus comment was rude but come on you two can discuss it in private so this thread can actually be used to giving advice to Grimalkin999 and helping her out.
I’ve had such bad luck in the dating field that I’m starting to lose hope. I recently started talking to a guy who is a feedee and he lives only three hours away so I was happy we met. We called a few times and everything seemed really good at first, he’d say how happy and excited he was to have met me. But now he’s been super distant and leaves me on delivered for hours or even days. He says he’s just super busy which I can understand but I can’t help but think that’s not the reason because the same thing happened before with the last guy I talked to. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to get attached to him just in case he leaves but I also don’t want to lose something that might be good
Beni:
I kinda feel like the original purpose of this thread is getting lost in this discussion between Munchies and Neyu. I agree with munchies that neyus comment was rude but come on you two can discuss it in private so this thread can actually be used to giving advice to Grimalkin999 and helping her out.
Yeah, that's a fair assessment.
That being said, Grimalkin999 did reach out to me directly and we discussed the situation.
2 years
Vent
Munchies:
I am very curious as to what you think the word "triggered" means? Because it meand you experiences a visceral, emotional response towards something.
Neyu:
Occurrence in response to a stimulus.
I am very curious as to what you think the word "triggered" means? Because it meand you experiences a visceral, emotional response towards something.
Neyu:
Occurrence in response to a stimulus.
Ok, so that is not what that means.
When someone says they are triggered it means one of two things
1. You have PTSD and something causes you to have flashbacks or another emotional response.
2. You feel upset, distressed, or scared by something.
Usually, people mean the second one.
I hope this explains things for you.
2 years
Vent
Munchies:
Then why, pray tell, did you get triggered? Why are her dating issues something that bothers you? If it's really a case of women having the same level of difficulty as men, why did you feel compelled to tell her to sign up for Tinder and wait for the men to come to her?
And Germany is, at the very least, comprable to the rest of the world when it comes to intimate partner violence. At least when it comes to the reported issues:
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.dw.com/en/violence-against-women-when-daily-life-becomes-a-nightmare/a-59917129
Now look at the world as a whole
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.dw.com/en/violence-against-women-when-daily-life-becomes-a-nightmare/a-59917129
This doesn't take into detail the countless victims who never report the situation.
To be clear, I do not think you are a bad person. I think you are a person who is reckless with his words. I think you have heard things over your life and internalized them without properly analyzing them either. Which I understand. Most people don't do it unless something forces them to confront it either.
Neyu:
Where do you come up with those questions?
Her dating issues don't bother me. And I never said so. It's an unfortunate situation.
''This doesn't take into detail the countless victims who never report the situation.'' (Munchies) Like I said... how present it is. And from victims who don't report it obviously no one knows about.
Okay. The last one you can't know, because you don't know me. I analyze everything over and over again. I think things through many times. And that's stressful.
Then why, pray tell, did you get triggered? Why are her dating issues something that bothers you? If it's really a case of women having the same level of difficulty as men, why did you feel compelled to tell her to sign up for Tinder and wait for the men to come to her?
And Germany is, at the very least, comprable to the rest of the world when it comes to intimate partner violence. At least when it comes to the reported issues:
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.dw.com/en/violence-against-women-when-daily-life-becomes-a-nightmare/a-59917129
Now look at the world as a whole
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.dw.com/en/violence-against-women-when-daily-life-becomes-a-nightmare/a-59917129
This doesn't take into detail the countless victims who never report the situation.
To be clear, I do not think you are a bad person. I think you are a person who is reckless with his words. I think you have heard things over your life and internalized them without properly analyzing them either. Which I understand. Most people don't do it unless something forces them to confront it either.
Neyu:
Where do you come up with those questions?
Her dating issues don't bother me. And I never said so. It's an unfortunate situation.
''This doesn't take into detail the countless victims who never report the situation.'' (Munchies) Like I said... how present it is. And from victims who don't report it obviously no one knows about.
Okay. The last one you can't know, because you don't know me. I analyze everything over and over again. I think things through many times. And that's stressful.
I am very curious as to what you think the word "triggered" means? Because it meand you experiences a visceral, emotional response towards something.
2 years
Vent
Munchies:
Yes. I was sassy. But that is because it's warrented. Think about the situation for a moment.
A woman expressed her dating struggles. You said, and I quote:
"Dating isn't hard for women, is it? Especially nowadays. I mean, you don't really have to do anything. Just put up a tinder profile and the men will pile up. The men need to seek out."
Do you understand how dismissive this sounds? It's essentially saying "Why are you struggling? You're a woman. Women have it easy. Just wait and a guy will come."
Not only is this dismissive, but it strips her of her agency. It's like she's a prize to be won. It also ignores any effort she's putting into finding partner.
And do you really think that Germany doesn't have much of an intimate partner violence problem? Well and truthfully? Compared to literally every other nation in the world?
Neyu:
You're twisting things here and it starts to get nonsense.
I didn't say women have it easy. On the contrary. I even said that they have it difficult too: ''And I don't say women don't go through that.'' (Neyu)
Furthermore, does it not ignore the woman's effort in any way. I didn't even talk about that. I've talked about men and their effort. That has nothing to do with women's effort in the remotest. It's two completely separate things.
And ''she's a price to be won.'' (Munchies) What a messed up way of thinking is this? Like before, I have not said that in any way. You shouldn't make up random things between the lines.
Munchies, you have to read carefully: ''Mainly because over here it's not nearly as present as in the US and other countries.'' (Neyu) I did not say Germany hasn't much intimate partner violence problems. I just said that, in comparison to other countries, it's less present. I'm not even talking about how it is here, but how it is publicly present.
Yes. I was sassy. But that is because it's warrented. Think about the situation for a moment.
A woman expressed her dating struggles. You said, and I quote:
"Dating isn't hard for women, is it? Especially nowadays. I mean, you don't really have to do anything. Just put up a tinder profile and the men will pile up. The men need to seek out."
Do you understand how dismissive this sounds? It's essentially saying "Why are you struggling? You're a woman. Women have it easy. Just wait and a guy will come."
Not only is this dismissive, but it strips her of her agency. It's like she's a prize to be won. It also ignores any effort she's putting into finding partner.
And do you really think that Germany doesn't have much of an intimate partner violence problem? Well and truthfully? Compared to literally every other nation in the world?
Neyu:
You're twisting things here and it starts to get nonsense.
I didn't say women have it easy. On the contrary. I even said that they have it difficult too: ''And I don't say women don't go through that.'' (Neyu)
Furthermore, does it not ignore the woman's effort in any way. I didn't even talk about that. I've talked about men and their effort. That has nothing to do with women's effort in the remotest. It's two completely separate things.
And ''she's a price to be won.'' (Munchies) What a messed up way of thinking is this? Like before, I have not said that in any way. You shouldn't make up random things between the lines.
Munchies, you have to read carefully: ''Mainly because over here it's not nearly as present as in the US and other countries.'' (Neyu) I did not say Germany hasn't much intimate partner violence problems. I just said that, in comparison to other countries, it's less present. I'm not even talking about how it is here, but how it is publicly present.
Then why, pray tell, did you get triggered? Why are her dating issues something that bothers you? If it's really a case of women having the same level of difficulty as men, why did you feel compelled to tell her to sign up for Tinder and wait for the men to come to her?
And Germany is, at the very least, comprable to the rest of the world when it comes to intimate partner violence. At least when it comes to the reported issues:
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.dw.com/en/violence-against-women-when-daily-life-becomes-a-nightmare/a-59917129
Now look at the world as a whole
www.google.com/amp/s/amp.dw.com/en/violence-against-women-when-daily-life-becomes-a-nightmare/a-59917129
This doesn't take into detail the countless victims who never report the situation.
To be clear, I do not think you are a bad person. I think you are a person who is reckless with his words. I think you have heard things over your life and internalized them without properly analyzing them either. Which I understand. Most people don't do it unless something forces them to confront it either.
2 years
Vent
Munchies:
Hoooo boy. That's um ... wow. Um ... so, I understand what you are getting at, but if I woman in this thread tears your head off for what you said, you have it coming.
Dating is hard no matter the gender. Women (cis and trans) struggle all the time.
Mind you, dating is more than just going out to the store and picking out the guy for you. It's finding someone you have a connection with. And that's hard. Women get rejected and friendzoned same as men. It's happened to me tons of times.
And then there are the men that don't suite us. Men that aren't our type, don't share our values, are good men but work better as friends, or are terrible people.
You also have to remember that dating as a woman can be dangerous. Rape, murder, and assult are things ever woman has to worry about. Even moreso for LGBTIQIA+ women and women of color.
So, I understand what you are saying, but I hope you understand how tasteless and entitled you sound.
Neyu:
Alright. I'll quickly get some duct tape to put my head on again afterwards.
Maybe a bit sassy, I'd say. From a man's point of view it isn't excactly tasteless, because the enumeration just reflects reality. Maybe not pretty, but reality. From men's perspective. I don't know how it is as a women. That's why I asked.
But I definitely don't see myself as entitled! In this world, nothing is for free and everything takes work.
Normally I don't do these kinds of posts, which deal with very ''critical'' topics, for which one might get hated as hard as diamonds. On the other hand. Kinda interesting and curiosity wins.
Finding a connection and the matching is obvously the same for men.
I didn't think about the dangerous part though. Mainly because over here it's not nearly as present as in the US and other countries.
Hoooo boy. That's um ... wow. Um ... so, I understand what you are getting at, but if I woman in this thread tears your head off for what you said, you have it coming.
Dating is hard no matter the gender. Women (cis and trans) struggle all the time.
Mind you, dating is more than just going out to the store and picking out the guy for you. It's finding someone you have a connection with. And that's hard. Women get rejected and friendzoned same as men. It's happened to me tons of times.
And then there are the men that don't suite us. Men that aren't our type, don't share our values, are good men but work better as friends, or are terrible people.
You also have to remember that dating as a woman can be dangerous. Rape, murder, and assult are things ever woman has to worry about. Even moreso for LGBTIQIA+ women and women of color.
So, I understand what you are saying, but I hope you understand how tasteless and entitled you sound.
Neyu:
Alright. I'll quickly get some duct tape to put my head on again afterwards.
Maybe a bit sassy, I'd say. From a man's point of view it isn't excactly tasteless, because the enumeration just reflects reality. Maybe not pretty, but reality. From men's perspective. I don't know how it is as a women. That's why I asked.
But I definitely don't see myself as entitled! In this world, nothing is for free and everything takes work.
Normally I don't do these kinds of posts, which deal with very ''critical'' topics, for which one might get hated as hard as diamonds. On the other hand. Kinda interesting and curiosity wins.
Finding a connection and the matching is obvously the same for men.
I didn't think about the dangerous part though. Mainly because over here it's not nearly as present as in the US and other countries.
Yes. I was sassy. But that is because it's warrented. Think about the situation for a moment.
A woman expressed her dating struggles. You said, and I quote:
"Dating isn't hard for women, is it? Especially nowadays. I mean, you don't really have to do anything. Just put up a tinder profile and the men will pile up. The men need to seek out."
Do you understand how dismissive this sounds? It's essentially saying "Why are you struggling? You're a woman. Women have it easy. Just wait and a guy will come."
Not only is this dismissive, but it strips her of her agency. It's like she's a prize to be won. It also ignores any effort she's putting into finding partner.
And do you really think that Germany doesn't have much of an intimate partner violence problem? Well and truthfully? Compared to literally every other nation in the world?
2 years
