Bellyblubber:
I remember the exact moment that it felt like something really changed about my brain chemistry.

I was in kindergarten and I was out to eat with my friend and her mom, and her mom said about her, “Wow, Abigail’s already eaten so much I bet her belly’s grown three times it’s size!”

I laughed, but then I thought about it. I just remember feeling really funny inside and kinda warm and confused. Even that young I started doing a little experimentation to try to find out why I felt that way, but I didn’t know why. However, I gradually learned what stimulated that feeling the best. By the time I learned what sex and sexuality were I was already head over heels for weight gain, stuffing, and bellies, exploring myself to them before I knew that’s what I was doing.

When I found out that what I’d been doing with myself to thoughts about my friends was inherently sexual, I was terrified. That led to me feeling guilty for having any sexual feeling about anything or anyone at all. After that it took me a while to think about sexuality again at all, but mental images of full bellies and cartoons with exaggerated stuffings and weight gain haunted me and occasionally broke me. It was years before I let myself feel this way again and started working on a healthier relationship with my desires.

This fetish is even the reason I realized my bisexuality. Eventually I had to start wondering why I never stopped imagining other women getting stuffed and gaining. At first I just assumed it was a representation of me, but when I started to realize how I felt seeing other girls in my class in those situations, had to admit that maybe I was different than a lot of other people in my southern community.

Nowadays I’m pretty comfortable with what I like, I just don’t feel comfortable letting people irl know about it. I’ve come to terms with my sexuality including these BIG parts of it, and I’m pretty happy and I don’t feel guilty for being the way I am anymore. More recently (a couple years ago), I even started embricing the part of me that always wanted to gain weight for myself. I never could because of life circumstances, fear of judgement, etc., but now I’m really enjoying it.

Hopefedee:
It’s allowing me to ignore what’s social acceptable and feel truly myself. It’s liberating to let myself go and grow and become soft and sexy. The Greeks painted big soft curvy women and I aspire to look like the women in this classical art that western society loves so much.

Angy523:
Sooo...we were happy and everything was really good. He gained more weight and I felt like he is the sexiest in the world and the sex was awesome. Also, I asked him many times if he feels good about his gaining and he told me yes.
But yesterday he wore his uniform after 1 month and he felt his belt was hurting him. And today his annoying mother told him he got too fat. A few hours after that he told me he wants to lose weight until his uniform will fit well again. I tried to tell him to adjust the belt, but he told me it's the right size, but it hurts when he sits and the belly hangs over it...or when he bends. So I had to accept this argument. Ofc I don't want him to feel pain.

Before judging me again, I want to tell you that I LOVE HIM no matter what. And I will love him even if he'll ever be skinny. But I was sad all day because I just know I won't see him as attractive as I see him now. And we had many problems with our sex life because he thought I'm not as attracted to him as I should...it wasn't true, I was either stressed with some exams or having other problems and I explained to him. But he always doubted that.
Idk what I'll do when this would be actually true. I know I won't be attracted as I am now. Ofc I'll still like him, but it will be a difference for sure.
Usually the best solution is to talk to him. But how should I tell him something like this? I would be selfish af. And I love him and I want to support his decision. But this just makes me sad...he also saw I was sad today and asked me to explain it and I tried to find an excuse.

ForeverFFA:
It's okay to feel disappointment about those kinds of things, and I disagree with other people saying that makes you somehow a bad person for having those feelings. It's important to respect his wishes, obviously, but it sounds like you already know that. Have you thought about asking him if his sudden desire to lose weight is just about the uniform fitting, or if it's something deeper that's concerning him right now? That might be a place to start.

X_Larsson:
Kind of a serious question...
In my daily life, I see virtually ZERO women I am attracted to, and it is primarily their looks/size/body type I am not appreciating, but often also their personality, morale or view on life.

However, occasionally I meet a woman with whom I share at least some intellectual and psycological common ground, and where things are fun and drama free.

Soooo.... If the first option is to NOT date at all (as in never finding a feedee of suitable age and personality), is it better to set upp some semi-platonic date with an otherwise suitable woman, even if she is not fat, feedee, foodie, or gainer?

I am not talking about some sort of fake sexual relationship (yuk), but about enjoying the romantic side of things, but with no assumption it will lead to sex.

Yeah, that was the odd scenario... Are there aspects of mental health, self preservation and sanity that can be so vital that they outweigh (I had to write it) the consequences around not being sexually compatible? At least not when entering into the dating phase?
Or is it even worse to actively setup a relation that is a fast track to some sort of "friend zone".

BustingButtons:
This was the original post that spawned this thesis of a thread.


Paragraph 1: Op is having issues finding attraction, with both physical, morale (I assume they mean "moral " and personality. Not my business but they've posted publicly it is our business so my opinion: invest time in getting to know people, spend more time off the internet. With no description of the morals or type of woman they want, OP is more vague than my gender identity two years ago.

Paragraph 2: Op wants drama free time with a woman they share psychological and and intellectual common ground with. They sound a bit self absorbed and yet I find no fault with this statement. We want to feel an equal.

Paragraph 3: This is where OP gets weird. They ask if they should have a semi-platonic date that is completely separated from their kink. What is OP asking? Semi-platonic?

Paragraph 4: They want a romantic relationship, they're lonely. No assumption of sex should be involved with their relationship, (tbh you shouldn't be assuming sex, it's not healthy and is probably why you've posted here).

Paragraph 5: OP is querying is it okay to this under some biological imperative to stay sane. Yet drops the incel bomb of "friend zone".

Honey you're assuming sex, you can't forgive that you want sex (it is okay to want sex). You're unhappy you can't find an equal yet you word it all in a way that you'll never find one.

Like I'm surprised this thread gained so much traction from an incels meandering. Can I use a woman to satisfy a biological need so I don't go mad? My brother in Christ, you've detached from your own humanity :/

Justinboo0313:
I can’t talk to people at church because their ideals would be to get rid of the feelings and not to face them and deal with them in a healthy healing way. Just like you can’t pray gay away you can’t pray feedism away. It’s the same thing. Just different feelings. I’m not trying to suppress it. I’m trying to be open and accepting, be myself. That’s all I want. Just to be honest with myself. I’m tired of treating it like a sickness. It’s not it’s just who I am. But I need help with coming to terms with it. And stop projecting on the form of feeding. But learn to control it and have fun with who I am. I’m not a monster, I’m a person with perfectly valid feelings!

ForeverFFA:
I don't know if I count as a feeder, as it's not core to my sexuality the way being an fa is. That said, I've had this reoccurring fantasy where a hypothetical non-feedist partner puts on some relationship weight because food is good and he enjoys the attention that his quirky girlfriend (me) showers on his body. He might occasionally let me feed him his favorite dessert as foreplay but would also playfully tease me for being kinky like that.