Drugsarefunny:
I have always had eating problems and if any of my friends knew I was on this website they would not believe it.
Now I'm obsessed with overeating, so I tend to eat a lot of snacks or go for ice cream when we are out and about. My friends take it as a recovery from my anorexia, and it's true too, but I also hope to be a little softer every day until I'm full of fat rolls.
Same for me, my friends would be very surprised if they knew I was on this site. I also suffered from anorexia but unlike you I struggle to accept, much less embrace the 50 lbs I gained in recovery. I don't feel good in this skin, it feels... foreign? Not sure if it's the right word (I speak french).
1 year
Munchies:
Personally, I think we can use more fluffy kink. I think FF should feel as welcoming a place to gentle feedism as it is more extreme feedism. And if you are one of those people, all the better.
Sweetfattie:
A-freakin-men. I'm not into the extreme stuff, I want a sweet, caring feeder who gets pleasure from making me happy.
Munchies:
And you are so valid for that. Your love of gentle feedism should be as welcome as my love of extreme feedism.
I love the idea of gentle feederism and I agree that (too?) many people here are into extremes.
1 year
Ditzy:
My drug addictions were cocaine and heroin.
I was playing in a band and touring a lot so I fell into using both.
Rehab was not fun and getting "clean" was extremely hard.
Addictive personalities are a thing but that was never mentioned to me by rehab doctors.
I find compulsive overeating not really the same thing but an urge that is very strong.
You don't get a high so to speak.
I was eating just because it looked or sounded good and no matter how much I ate the urge to eat was still there.
Its really hard to explain it all.
I know what you mean by "addictive personality", but - maybe because I'm a French speaker - I can't help but read if as "you have a personality that is addictive" (which also seems true of you).
1 year
As I've mentioned before, I've involuntarily gained 20-25 lbs pounds in 2024 (by now it's probably closer to 35-40 but I'm too afraid to step on the scale and face reality).
Knowing myself, if the number is much higher than I expected, I'll spiral deeper into my depression and the suicidal ideations will get even worse than they are right now.
I'm not in denial, however.
Looking in the mirror, I can see my waistline is less defined, the fat pads on my lower back and around my knees are thicker, my thighs and my boobs are bigger (I seldom wear a bra but the last time I couldn't wait to take it by the end of the day)... I'm AFAB but identify as agender so no, this isn't something I'm excited about.
Also, I've noticed that many of the M-L sized clothes I've bought in the last few months to replace my outgrown XS-S wardrobe are much tighter that I like them especially around the waistline and at the legs.
This is all the more concerning to me because I had intentionally bought them larger than necessary in order to feel more comfortable and less self conscious of my fuller figure.
Even at my skinniest (I got down to 90 lbs at the worst of the anorexia relapse), I've always preferred looser clothing as I hate feeling constricted.
Because of my autism and sensory hypersensitivities, I can't tolerate wearing tight clothes so I've increasingly been avoiding wearing most my new wardrobe.
I don't need to dress up in the morning as I've been on sick leave since May 2024 therefore most days I wear whatever I slept in the night before all day long.
I'm a little ashamed to admit it, but whereas I rarely wore longewear outside of the house when I was thinner, lately I've been shipping to the grocery store and droving my boyfriend to his school or workplace in my pyjamas and winter coat (which was much roomier when I got it in November) and I didn't care what people thought of me.
In case you were wondering, they weren't the type of nightwear that could easily be mistaken for actual clothes.
When I bother dressing up, I always reach for the loosest ones I own, usually sweatpants and hoodies. I know these habits aren't helping my weight loss because that's how I unknowingly got fatter in the first place...
It's only when I have to dress up for special occasions (like my friend's funeral in August or Christmas) that I can fully appreciate how much fatter I am now.
I'm definitely not thin anymore, I'm chubby and on my way to becoming fat. Unless I do something drastic like cut all sugars (including fruits and sweet vegetables) and starches from my diet, soon enough I'll be obese like I was before.
In August or September I tried the pretty dress I wore last year at my boyfriend's parents Christmas dinner and I was mortified when I couldn't zip it all the way up and it was obviously too small for me. I wouldn't dare trying it on today, the zip probably wouldn't go more than halfway up.
I hate myself for letting myself go like that... I fooled myself into believing a few chocolate bars, cookies and pastries wouldn't make me fat but after so many years of severe restriction and clean eating my metabolism is extremely slow and my body has been holding on to every extra calorie I fed it.
1 year
NYCBellyBlimp:
Alcohol, stress, working 2nd/3rd shift, and not drinking water before bed.
Not drinking water before bed slows down your metabolism? Does anyone know if there is scientific data on this?
If so I'd like to read it because it's always been a struggle for me to drink enough, period. Because of my poor sense of interception, by the time I feel thirsty, I'm parched and already dehydrated.
1 year
Glitter Jelly:
He isn't because he can't afford it (our healthcare system overs part of the medication costs but not of therapy).
Since my appointment at the endocrinologist I'm a lot more depressed myself. I haven't lost any weight and if there's no medical explanation to my getting fatter so fast I feel very hopeless.
I try to restrict myself but I only end up bingeing more on forbidden foods later in the day or at night.
Still on sick leave but I'll have to start working again soon. The mere idea of going back makes me want to quit because I just can't cope with any weight gain comments tbh.
Saw my mom for Christmas and it was obvious she noticed my fuller figure and was walking on eggshells in order not to hurt me.
Munchies:
There are helplines and hotlines out there. And if he has a job, they usually cover some level of mental health care in the form of an EAP.
You might benefit from that too
Glitter Jelly:
My employer allows me a few appointments with a therapist. Since I started seeing her, one of my goals was to work on my internalized fat phobia but with my ADHD I keep digressing and there's never enough time to address this topic.
Munchies:
Do you ever go in with a list of things to talk about? Like a physical list?
I make lists all the time but I never did for my therapy sessions...
1 year
I accidentally gained so much weight so fast this year I can't judge anymore if a piece of clothing will fit me just be looking at it.
Today I was at a thrift store and got some dresses to try on. The one I thought would fit the sleeves barely got over my upper arms and I couldn't zip it up. The one that looked huge and I expected to be loose fit perfectly.
I have body dysmorphia and until recently I used to see myself fatter than I really was. Now I don't feel that fat but I guess I'm fatter than I see myself?
1 year
Slayright:
When I was trying on my old clothes and my jeans were stuck at the thighs
Just bought M-L size "sweater tights" and I struggled to get them over my thighs!
The cable motif makes them waaaaaayyyy less stretchy than regular tights.
I used to be obese so these would have been uncomfortable even when I was 30 lbs lighter and wearing XS-S.
I feel cheated and I doubt I can return them to the store now that I've tried them...
1 year
Johnnyafire:
My boss literally pulled me aside and made me get a bigger uniform. She was gentle enough but it was a shock.
I never realised how small it had gotten.
Need to take a picture or something.
I have the same problem... but it's pretty unlikely that our clothes got smaller. 🤣
1 year
Glitter Jelly:
He isn't because he can't afford it (our healthcare system overs part of the medication costs but not of therapy).
Since my appointment at the endocrinologist I'm a lot more depressed myself. I haven't lost any weight and if there's no medical explanation to my getting fatter so fast I feel very hopeless.
I try to restrict myself but I only end up bingeing more on forbidden foods later in the day or at night.
Still on sick leave but I'll have to start working again soon. The mere idea of going back makes me want to quit because I just can't cope with any weight gain comments tbh.
Saw my mom for Christmas and it was obvious she noticed my fuller figure and was walking on eggshells in order not to hurt me.
Munchies:
There are helplines and hotlines out there. And if he has a job, they usually cover some level of mental health care in the form of an EAP.
You might benefit from that too
My employer allows me a few appointments with a therapist. Since I started seeing her, one of my goals was to work on my internalized fat phobia but with my ADHD I keep digressing and there's never enough time to address this topic.
1 year
