When you have really been packing in the food, your whole digestive tract gets filled up. After a few days of pigging out then stopping, my weight can drop 7-8 pounds---that was the difference of extra food working its way through the system (plus maybe water bloat).

So if you are worried, go back to 'normal' for a few days and then see where you are at.

I know that PETA loves to talk up all the stuff that hormones in meat and milk can do to us....but I've also not seen any real evidence backing these claims.

Of course, there are always extreme cases, and the accumulation of all sorts of influences may add up more than being hit by one all on its own would explain. But I doubt that my moobage has much to do with eating a certain amount of soy and washing with a tea-tree oil based face soap (a couple of things for which I've seen claims of estrogen like behavior).

Having conflicting ideas in your head at the same time is uncomfortable—my long ago psychology course said such a ‘cognitive dissonance’ usually quickly results in one of the ideas being rejected (whether for good reasons or not), just to get rid of that internal conflict. But sometimes it isn’t easy to get rid of either side of it. I know I’ve lived with this sort of conflict in my head for over thirty years…..I long ago gave up being thin, but going from chunky to really standing out as fat was a line I’d really not been willing to cross. Of course everyone’s mind is different, so you may work things out very differently.

On the one hand, you love gaining. It is possible that some people get over their love of gaining, but for the most part it seems that if it is part of you, it will always be part of you. Sometimes people can channel away from their actual life with making stories or drawing or fantasy chat, but for other people that just makes the desire stronger. It sounds like you’ve tried to totally drive this away, and gone on an extreme diet at least once, without the desire actually leaving.

On the other hand, you want the social acceptance that comes with being thin (or at least fitting in with ‘normal’ people). Lots of people get over their need for social acceptance based on ‘fitting in.’ (Of course, most people probably don’t, and those that do tend to get there with age—at your age I must be blood rare). I think we all have a desire for acceptance, but there are different types of acceptance, from different people, for different reasons…and over time even that can fade. (google “When I Am An Old Woman I Shall Wear Purple” for a fun way of looking at it)

In short, if you don’t like the conflict in your head, my bet would be that you’ll find it easier to change the context of where you get your acceptance, and learning to need acceptance less, than getting rid of that desire to gain. On the other hand, you can learn to live with the cognitive dissonance, and use that to find some balance point in your life (deciding what weight would be big enough, or choosing to gain a little bit and savour it, etc).

If you choose to try and change the acceptance side of thing, then it is one of those big examine your whole life and who you are sort of things. Finding out what things you’d like to be valued and accepted for that don’t have to do with fitting in to the thin culture, figuring out how to develop that side of yourself, finding places where you have a chance of getting that acceptance, weaning yourself away from people who insist on judging people by how well they fit in, finding new branches to your social network that give you the room to grow in the direction you want, working on accepting negative judgements from some people without feeling you must bend to please them (i.e. not being ‘a good girl’ to all people), ….. massive job, and not something that can happen instantly. On the other hand, it can be very liberating and may help you really thrive as a person, as you find a place where you can grow in all sorts of ways, including physically.

I’m kind of sporadic on checking in here, but I can’t stay away because this is the place where I can be open about my gaining desires (me, others, as long as someone is getting fatter I’m interested!).

I’ve chosen not to make gaining a substantial part of my life, and this site gives me a safe place to air out those feelings, since I can’t just wish them away—this is important because when I try to just ignore them, I instead find them leaking into my behaviour more than when I keep them where I can keep an eye on ‘em

I did a two and a half day stuffing one time. Didn't so much eat huge amounts at any one meal as just kept eating constantly (like have reasonable lunch at home, then go out and have a burger combo an hour later, then an hour later have some donuts and sweet ice tea, then in another hour or two have a couple of slices of pizza...finishing off the evening with a one pound frozen cheesecake eaten over the last couple of hours before bed)

I think I only gained a couple of pounds of fat from it, but at the end of the stuffing period my weight was up by nearly ten pounds, with all the food packed into my system. My gut was swollen out massively--it was hard to tie up my shoe laces! It was a lot of fun, with the only down side that it was hard to get to sleep when I was so full.

Anyway: four days, sound totally awesome! I hope you'll share lots of details with us, what you ate, how you feel, any reactions that you get....and hopefully how much you gain!

I gained ten pounds in the first five or so weeks (without trying), then freaked out about how fast I was gaining and slammed on the brakes. Took me near two years to lose it (I suck at losing weight).

This was in the dark ages (pre we and although I knew I liked plump girls I didn't expect any girls to like a plump me--hadn't heard of FA or FFA yet.

Very cool thread! I agree that it is disapointing if speakers of other languages just use the english terms--especially as the english terms are both far more prosiac than poetic and because they are vague and subject to confusion.

Pretty much ditto on what Sammii said, but I want to add something from a guy point of view.

Of course you get rated based on your girlfriend, guys always have that jostling to be at the front of the pack and who you are with can be one of things that people keep score on. Stating the obvious here, right?

BUT it isn’t just looks, you know. That is the obvious one, and the one people might talk about most. But for all that we like to keep up a tough front and not talk about feelings, how happy you are counts too. If you suddenly start dating a SSBBW you know you are going to catch some grief from other guys, but really all that they are doing is probing for weak spots. If you look ashamed, if you apologize for her size, if you are all “well, I hadn’t had any action in a while so I was getting desperate” then for sure you are going down in flames.

On the other hand, if you treat dating her like the best thing since beer, it is a whole other story. “Dude, what the hell, she’s HUGE!” “I know, she’d break you, but some of us aren’t so fragile.” “No, dude, seriously, what are you thinking?” “That I’m the cat that ate the cream, the lucky ass who tripped and fell in a pot of gold, and that my friends aren’t stupid enough to diss my ***ing awesome girlfriend—that’s what I’m thinking.”

And once that is out of the way you never, ever, use her size as an excuse not to do something. Never “Sorry, would love to go see the movie but my girlfriend doesn’t fit into the seats.” Never-ever-ever. Instead it is “Yah, movie sounds great, when I’ve got some time I’ll catch it on DVD or something, but I’ve got plans with my girl on Friday” (and if necessary “What plans? Bro’ I am NOT spelling it out for you, but I’m setting the evening aside for it, catch my drift?”)

Basically as far as you communicate to anyone else she is smart, fun, you are thrilled to be with her, you are in love with her (including her body), she’s a goddess in bed (and everywhere else), you see NOTHING to apologize for about her (aside from some small thing unrelated to her weight—“OK, I admit, some of the music on her MP3 player almost made me run when I first saw her play list, but I’m glad I got past that.”), and any of your friends should be lucky to ever end up with someone half so great.

After that, your friends could believe you are insane or not, but in the end they accept you and her and move on—after which she falls under the usual rules for friends girlfriends and is somewhat protected—or they decide that your happiness is so offensive that they want to cause serious drama, which is unlikely unless they have so many problems that you have to ask yourself why you are hanging around with them.

And further, the fact that you are telling the world that she is simply amazing gives you at least some points for having a girlfriend who makes you that happy (and if you are reasonably young most guys will assume that this means she’s screwing you sexless relentlessly, because why else would you be THAT happy), and some more for have the big freaking balls to date someone different and make it work.

And for what it is worth, my wife is only a BBW, not an SSBBW, but a few of my friends are seriously into skinny things, and I could probably count the number of cracks about her size that I’ve heard from them over two decades on one hand. At that, all but one of those were when we were all taking the mickey out of each other so they were acceptable in context, they just confirmed that they still didn’t see the attraction in someone her size. And yah, I’m fat now, because I want to be, but back when my group of friends got to know each other I was playing hockey and soccer, running cross country and racing cross-country skiing. They had no idea I liked big girls until I showed up with this one with the wide hips, who kept getting bigger for the next half dozen years.