Romy:
My diet is a total failure. I binge eat secretly from my husband and ultimately he knows it because the scale doesn't lie.
My nurse was condemned to fight with me because I didn't give me food and with my husband for providing it.
My husband is tired of dealing with me and decided to leave everything in my hands.
When I want to eat no one tells me anything. Now the diet is in my hands.
This is a disaster. I start crying while binge eating, but I can't stop ordering fast food and swallowing like a pig.
My physical therapist came to my house and I was eating hamburgers. The look on that guy's face was atrocious and I imagine he only thought "I get paid to do my job and keep my schedule."
I feel like no one helps me and they left me alone to my own devices, but I don't make the slightest effort either and I can't help it either, because the desire to eat is so strong that I end up eating everything on my table.
Lunao:
It does sound like you need a better support system around you, one that can limit the amount of food you get. Have you thought about going to a rehab center? Somewhere where people will help you eat less and lose weight. I believe in you and you can do it.
I concur. I truly believe that your husband wants you to get better, Romy. I am sure he longs to touch you without pain. However, he isn't strong enough to do what you need and has taken to enabling you so he can have peace.
You won't thrive in your current environment. To put it very bluntly, you are on track to eating yourself to death. And considering some of the things you've shared, I'd be shocked if you stay alive another year.
We can only help you so much. You need to put in the work to do what you need to do. And what you need is to be in a controlled environment where you do not have unfettered access to food.
I ain't ya mama, but I would hate to know one of these days, you'll never be able to log in again, and we won't know why.