What are feeders looking for

Lol, you have no idea.
3 years
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What are feeders looking for

Nyarlep:
Your looking at things from an entirely wrong angle. People are people, not machines or pictures. A "feeder" isn't just a feeder, its another person whos probably looking for a relationship that at the bare minimum probably includes enjoying your company.

tldr; there is more to a relationship than sex


As a feeder with a feedee, I second this.

My feedee is an awkward and goofy man. He'll be the first to admit such. But he makes me happy and I can be vulnerable with him. There's a give and take to our relationship so neither is left wanting.

Meanwhile (and I am speaking a cishet woman) a lot of these so-called "serious feedees" I've run into are horny, desperate men. And that makes them do some ... interesting things. In no particular order, I have received:

A dick pic
An offer for their life insurance pay out
To take care of me in all aspects so I only have to feed them, domme them, and have their children
Many offers to bare their children
Offers to tend to them 24/7 while they get fat and lazy
Offers to physically abuse them
Offers to be their sub (I am strictly domme)

The list goes on.

If you want a feeder, focus on being a decent person and a good partner first and a feedee second.

My feedee didn't do anything special. We just chatted about this and that - most of it non-kink. But we clicked really well. So naturally, we pursued each other.
3 years
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Finding comfortable pants?

Spoop Skerry:
PS: is crotch a dirty word?


Sir, this is a fetish site.
3 years
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Feeder or feedee?

So, you can gain, but you don't have to be fat. This is an option you possess.

Also, I didn't feel insecure about my body. I was a good looking woman even when I was 115 lbs. It's more along the lines that I hated being bony and sickly.
3 years
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The social meaning of gaining

Duncan:
I am convinced that most of us males are attracted to fatter women because from the point of view of a caveman they are more susceptible to survive pregnancy and to feed a baby. I think there is a consensus on this idea, though I am talking about 80% of men having a preference for voluptuous females. I really think we are a lot. The threshold of "being too fat" might differ but the concept is the same: fatter is better.


Gomomo2173:
Evolutionarily / Caveman-brain speaking, we’re attracted to signs of *health* in potential mates: strength, symmetry, shine.

You’ll notice that all three of these characteristics have the potential to overlap with larger bodies…

Strength - they won’t be the first to starve to death or get sick when times are tough.

Symmetry - easier to notice on more prominent features (the same reason breasts have long been considered attractive).

Shine - to maintain healthy hair and skin, one must have consustent access to all the essential nutrients and vitamins.

So while this aesthetic bias / evolutionary instinct doesn’t always translate to “plump equals hot”, when we laid it out like this it’s easy to see why for some of us, it does.



As a generalization I will agree with this this.
3 years
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The social meaning of gaining

Munchies:
And what do you mean by traditional? Because there are entire cultures out there that expect the man to be fat and the woman to be slimmer. Usually, these are non-European cultures.

And where I live in the American South, a "traditional" involves a well fed man and a much smaller woman.

So "traditional" is cultural specific.

Duncan:
I noticed something similar in Russia…. So would this confirm that women don’t have a tendency to get fatter to seduce men, as I assume in my initial post?


No. It's exactly what I said earlier. People like what they like. And they have differing and complex reasons for liking what they like. You cannot codify it in such a grand and sweeping way.

Also, women getting fat to seduce men is a very shallow way to look at both men and women. It paints women getting fat as a way to please a man, and not for other reasons. And it paints men as horn dogs with no high reasoning. It's an insult to both genders really.
3 years
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The social meaning of gaining

Munchies:
This also assumes that cavewomen only existed to get fat and have babies. However, cavewomen were out and about doing hard labor for survival all the time.


You are trying to start a different debate. History is full of hard working women who accomplished in many cases more that what men could achieve. My point is that we are hardwired by our own evolution and many of our reactions are influenced by very deep instincts. We are a bunch clever animals after all.

Munchies:
I think it's much simpler than that. People like what they like for a variety of reasons. You can't codify it because everyone is unique. It's like how two people can like the same color or song for a variety of reasons.

Duncan:
I disagree with that. The fact that we are all different shouldn’t make us deny the trends and instincts that evolution gave to us. This argument is kind of political, I respect it but I think it is part of a different realm.


Lol! This is not even a different debate. I am not talking about the great women of history or even feminism. I am simply point out what it was like living as a caveperson based of scientific research.

So even if you wanted to go the "this is what we like because evolution" that doesn't even work.
3 years
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The social meaning of gaining

Duncan:
My question is obviously focused on heterosexual relationships, sorry maybe I should have introduced it this way.

I am not denying all orientations (which have always existed by the way) but I am on purpose building hypothesis on a "traditional" relationship as I am convinced its primordial causes still influence all orientations today.

Munchies:
Ok well, I'm a straight woman. I'm buff and have no interest in being fat. And while I like men of all body types, I prefer them fat. My mere existence kinda blows a hole into that theory.

Duncan:
Or maybe you crave being fat but do not allow you to accede to your fantasy, and as a compensation you project this inaccessible dream to your partners? This trigger could be at a completely unconscious level.

Just trying … 😁


Wow. No braincells McGee over here.

I'm actually an ex-gainer. I started out as an underweight woman who wanted to be fat. But as I gained weight, I realized I didn't want to be fat at all. I just didn't want to be skinny. I also discovered that I really love being muscular. I don't think I'd be happy fat.

Meanwhile I love spoiling my feedee and pushing him to his limits. It makes me happier than anything I ever did feeding myself.
3 years
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The social meaning of gaining

And what do you mean by traditional? Because there are entire cultures out there that expect the man to be fat and the woman to be slimmer. Usually, these are non-European cultures.

And where I live in the American South, a "traditional" involves a well fed man and a much smaller woman.

So "traditional" is cultural specific.
3 years
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Munchies

The social meaning of gaining

Duncan:
My question is obviously focused on heterosexual relationships, sorry maybe I should have introduced it this way.

I am not denying all orientations (which have always existed by the way) but I am on purpose building hypothesis on a "traditional" relationship as I am convinced its primordial causes still influence all orientations today.


Ok well, I'm a straight woman. I'm buff and have no interest in being fat. And while I like men of all body types, I prefer them fat. My mere existence kinda blows a hole into that theory.
3 years
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